A Wolf
SUMMARY: Years after FMAB. Maria has come for a visit, as she does often. This time though, she doesn't intend to leave. Her reasons are her own, but will Riza understand, or will she become lost within the answers that neither of them want to hear?
Author Note: My first Fan fiction for FMAB. Please be gentle, and don't forget to read and review.
The gun in her hand trembled lightly, the fear of such a thing not easily lost after the torment she'd had to endure, even, if the truth was easily denied. After all, she was a mere child when she had lost her father, and she grew up trying to become the man she had forever idolized. "She's still green." Riza sighed out. "She's just not ready to enlist, and trust me, she had the clout to back herself up, but that gun tells otherwise." Perhaps, in a small way, Riza knew well the pains and heartache that followed after losing a man as wonderful as a father. "I see it in her eyes, the uncertainty, the uneasy sight, and her finger, barely caressing the trigger." However, she also knew what pain the military brought, and the deeply seeded anger that came, knowing all vengeance could no longer be reached. "She simply isn't ready, Gracia. Maybe next year, after a little more training."
"I'd rather she not try to enlist at all." Gracia sighed, the weight of knowing she'd lost her husband had been difficult. To imagine losing her daughter was something she couldn't begin to think about. "I know she loves her father, and the memories she holds in her heart, but what can she remember?"
"Quite a bit, I would assume. The boys always held their mother near and dear in their hearts when they fought their personal war." Those boys...Ed...Al...they had been through so much, and as children in the military, they had forged themselves into the young upstarts that had become almost famous. "Ross and I have trained her as well as can be expected for a rookie, and as far as basic training goes, she could pass. I just think she's not ready yet. Another year, perhaps two. Until then, she needs to train harder, the military isn't exactly the way it used to be, the changes will have long standing effects."
"I wanted to thank you personally, for helping Alyssa in her endeavors." Although the smile was forced out of sad memories, Gracia was truly grateful for the help, her eyes shining with pride as she gazed upon her daughter. The girl was running mock drills with Maria Ross, another who had been forever faithful, and a loyal friend of the family. "She really is so much like her father, it worries me."
"The person who shot him is dead. That child has no real reason to enlist." Riza said as she smiled softly. "Life can go back to being normal again. At least for now." A small, frown found her lips for the briefest moment, Riza's hears clenching as she realized a sad little truth. "Ross would have made a great mother one day, if we hadn't had to lie about her in the tabloids. Are you sure you're alright, hiding someone who should be dead, I mean?"
"She tells stories..." Gracia began, shaking her head at some of the things she'd been told. "Things that make my daughter smile. They're pure, happy little things. I knew from the moment I looked into her eyes, there was no possible way she, of all people could have killed my husband. I believe the reason Alyssa chose this path, is not only because of her father, but because it's that path of everyone who's shown her love. The military has always been family, and one day, she will likely settle down and have a husband, and perhaps a few children of her own."
Riza sighed as she closed the door to her small sleeping quarters, leaning on the door heavily. On her days off, which were seldom, she'd taken to training the little girl, who wasn't quite so little anymore. She took great care in teaching the girl gun safety, that progressed into shooting standing targets, and then, moving ones. Riza's precise skill passed along to another generation. At first, she didn't like the idea, and wanted greatly to deny the child, but memories weren't so simple. Why should she forsake the daughter of a man whom she'd held dear in her heart? Why should she, a woman who went through great pains to reach her goals, tell another woman, though young, never to reach out for her beliefs? With those answers in mind, Riza nodded and unwillingly agreed. Now though, the little bit of regret remained. 'Is this what he would have wanted?' Riza always asked herself, coming up short.
'It's our job to enable them.' His memory would always tell her that. Sometimes she wondered if he would have said that about his own flesh and blood, but then again, that man, as kind and loving as he had been, had enabled children. In the end it welcomed his death after all. As a woman in the military, she'd seen great distress, war something of a code spoken under heated and wasted breath. The two brothers weren't the only children who fought. The little girl with a pet panda was also quite the little warrior, fighting hard for the people she cared for. The female engineer, also strove for her goals. There were many children who gave up such a gifted title, replacing it with one paved with sadness, etched in blood.
If it was because of a maternal bond, or womanly compassion, Riza was unsure. She had always cared deeply for those who could not care for themselves. Those who fought and struggled so hard, for an impossible dream, and never ending goals. She wasn't the only woman who felt that way. She was one of many military women who believed in such strong convictions. With great haste she ripped off her uniform, gun powder something that she didn't have a fondness for, odd, given her profession. She was a woman of the military, and kept her dog tags on all the time, but that's what she was, wasn't she? An attack dog who followed orders? A good little bitch? She sighed, hating all that she'd done, even if it meant victory.
The eyes of an old war hero, they never changed. Eyes were still eyes, killer, or savior, it never mattered.
Still the thought of children appealed to her, even if she was not as soft as a mother should be. She was not a woman who's kindness knew no bounds. She had a strict set of ideas, ones forged out of battle, her handgun never left her side. She had heard Izumi had wanted to become a parent, failing horrifically in so many ways. Riza had Ed and Al to thank, her many new friends, and allies only grew because of them, and the world they fought for. Ed was a father now, rather young, but happy. Al was still on his own journey through the world, trying to find himself. Neither of them were strangers around the central command, in fact, both of them were still respected in the highest honors. Still, they were just boys, and not blood forged men.
"Their ideals would never let them be that way." Riza laughed out loud, shaking her head as she turned on the shower. "God I miss them." In all honesty, she missed the joys of having youthful smiles. Ed, though just a boy at the time, was such a person, that Riza found him hard to let go of. He was so fragile, and yet, so strong. Like a flower that endures the worst of frosts. She missed the old military, not it's corruption, surely, but the friends that she kept so close. The people she'd held so near.
"You know, you could have waited for me." A welcome voice told her. "I need a shower too, that girl had me sweating bullets today." Maria Ross. A woman who's entire life would forever be hidden in the shadows. Her short dark brown hair was always neat and orderly. Her smile cheerful, hopeful, a wonderful light on a lonely day. "Hey, you okay?" Her voice often soft, and sweet, like honey. Her fingers well manicured, although slightly calloused from years of hard labor. "Riza..." A mere caress more powerful than words could say. "Look at me, please." Her body, that of an average woman, so normal, and that's what made her alluring.
"You shouldn't be here." Riza chastised the woman before her, closing her eyes, and backing away from temptation. "If you get caught, you'll be in major trouble." She hadn't wanted to notice the woman who owned temptation like a middle name. It was pure luck, after all, that she'd been found innocent. That Mustang, the upstart that he was, decided to trust a convict. He chose to believe Maria wasn't responsible for the murder. He knew the truth now, it had long since been handled. Still, the real truth was, Maria wasn't safe. "He won't like this..."
"Who?" Maria asked gently as the water rained over her body. "Roy?" They both knew he would be flat out pissed if Maria blew her cover. The woman was in a highly populated area, with so many reporters just willing to tell a story about a ghost of the past. "If he finds out, you can just open your door and let him join us. That should keep him quiet." She ran her fingers through her hair, letting the water run freely down her body, basking in the warmth. "I'll even let him wash my back, as long as he doesn't complain." The hint of seduction laced in her voice just had to be considered a deadly weapon.
"Damn it's getting hot in here." Riza sighed as she chanced a glance at her friend and occasional bedfellow. Maria was enjoying the water so much, she looked at peace, eyes closed as she ran her fingers over her body, washing away the sweat and grime she'd collected in training. The only thing the woman adorn was her watch, standard issue, military attire. She never took it off... That, and she never removed the shining piece of metal that hung around her neck. "You really are a lost puppy aren't you?" Riza sighed as she wrapped her arm's around Maria's neck, pulling her in close. "Coming back and putting yourself in harms way." The glint of metal, the reproduction of what she had be stripped of, the only thing that gave her an identity. "You really are an idiot."
"These say my home is here." Maria said softly, grasping onto her tags. "So I came home. Dead or not, I can still come home, can't I?"
"You don't belong here, it's not home." Riza knew this would be difficult. "Not for you."
"I am as close to home as I can be." Maria's warmth was welcomed.
"You should go back, across the desert where you'll be safe." But it still pained Riza, knowing the woman she loved was in danger.
"I don't want to be safe." She said, gazing deeply into the eyes of the blond. "I want to be with you."
"Don't lie." Riza sighed as she exited the shower, unwilling to listen any further. "You and Denny were going to be something one day. He cared about you a lot, you know? You could tell him at any point that you're still here...that you want him back. You could tell your family, you could have a normal life." It was something all of them wanted. Something so fleeting that even the two brothers fought hard to regain lost moments hidden within the depths of tragedy. "You wanted to many things Maria, after you got out. I would think, now would be the perfect time to pursue those goals."
"We followed dogs, Riza." Maria sighed out, looking at the woman she'd come to love. "Just as I followed Denny, you followed Roy. Granted, Roy's always had a plan to work his way up. He won't retire until he's old and gray, when he's lost the passion for battle, lost the will to change this country for all that it is, and showing us all what we could be." She laughed darkly, her family would never know, and it was better that way. "I could never tell my family what happened to me, they think I'm some bad person, who committed the worst crime ever." The pains of the past wouldn't ever heal though. "As for Denny, he knows I'm still here. That I'm alive." She shook her head, she had loved him, a lot, but she'd also caused him great suffering. "But he could never trust me again. He's moved on, Riza. I've lost my chances with him."
"I'm a woman, I'm in my thirties, I can't give you want you want." Riza knew that look, oh how often it had occurred during the war. When the scorching sand burned into them like melted iron. When there was no human contact, no hugs, no comfort for those monsters of the military. It was so cold, so lonely. Maria had been the first to crumble. She was after all, still new, and a mere recruit at the time. "I gave you what we both needed, nothing more." Riza had longed for someone who understood. She had fired upon many, her eyes looking through the scope, knowing who she hit, and who she missed. "Roy's worked hard to get this far, and I'm still tied down to his command."
"I don't care." Maria sighed, pulling Riza close, looking at the woman before her, so strong, and yet... "How could you tell me what I want, what I need?" Maria asked, her lips hovering over Riza's, their baited breaths mingling. "How could you deny what you don't understand?" Her kiss was greedy, her tears, they were pure. All of the need that had built up from being alone poured out in vast waves, and Riza felt she was being pulled away by the tides. The only question was something she was afraid to ask, she dreaded the answer she could receive.
'What is she fighting?' Riza thought, as Maria led her over to the bed, making her wishes and demands known. 'Why wouldn't I understand?' She wondered as sinful desires spoke truth neither were willing to admit. Still, as much as Riza's heart called for the answers, she never spoke the questions, and so, they never came. Lust flowed through them, the feeling as terrifying as that creature's face. 'Why can't she tell me?' The darkened wishes of two women something unspoken, lazy kisses something for more welcomed as they both cast aside the reasons.
Logic.
Motive.
Feelings.
They were all thrown away...
Forgotten.
Still, As the hungry kisses broke away the wall that protected them both, neither one knew what would come of this night. Why were they trying so hard to grasp onto the past? Why open the door, one that should forever remain closed? It was something they couldn't ask. They couldn't say. These two women, who also gambled it all away, for the men who followed a master.
"I'm a lone wolf now, Riza." Maria told her gently, although her eyes burned with passion. "But, I hate being alone. Don't let me go."
-End-
So, what did you think? I love this pairing and may do more with it, but I really want to know if I'm good enough...
Author Note: My first Fan fiction for FMAB. Please be gentle, and don't forget to read and review.
The gun in her hand trembled lightly, the fear of such a thing not easily lost after the torment she'd had to endure, even, if the truth was easily denied. After all, she was a mere child when she had lost her father, and she grew up trying to become the man she had forever idolized. "She's still green." Riza sighed out. "She's just not ready to enlist, and trust me, she had the clout to back herself up, but that gun tells otherwise." Perhaps, in a small way, Riza knew well the pains and heartache that followed after losing a man as wonderful as a father. "I see it in her eyes, the uncertainty, the uneasy sight, and her finger, barely caressing the trigger." However, she also knew what pain the military brought, and the deeply seeded anger that came, knowing all vengeance could no longer be reached. "She simply isn't ready, Gracia. Maybe next year, after a little more training."
"I'd rather she not try to enlist at all." Gracia sighed, the weight of knowing she'd lost her husband had been difficult. To imagine losing her daughter was something she couldn't begin to think about. "I know she loves her father, and the memories she holds in her heart, but what can she remember?"
"Quite a bit, I would assume. The boys always held their mother near and dear in their hearts when they fought their personal war." Those boys...Ed...Al...they had been through so much, and as children in the military, they had forged themselves into the young upstarts that had become almost famous. "Ross and I have trained her as well as can be expected for a rookie, and as far as basic training goes, she could pass. I just think she's not ready yet. Another year, perhaps two. Until then, she needs to train harder, the military isn't exactly the way it used to be, the changes will have long standing effects."
"I wanted to thank you personally, for helping Alyssa in her endeavors." Although the smile was forced out of sad memories, Gracia was truly grateful for the help, her eyes shining with pride as she gazed upon her daughter. The girl was running mock drills with Maria Ross, another who had been forever faithful, and a loyal friend of the family. "She really is so much like her father, it worries me."
"The person who shot him is dead. That child has no real reason to enlist." Riza said as she smiled softly. "Life can go back to being normal again. At least for now." A small, frown found her lips for the briefest moment, Riza's hears clenching as she realized a sad little truth. "Ross would have made a great mother one day, if we hadn't had to lie about her in the tabloids. Are you sure you're alright, hiding someone who should be dead, I mean?"
"She tells stories..." Gracia began, shaking her head at some of the things she'd been told. "Things that make my daughter smile. They're pure, happy little things. I knew from the moment I looked into her eyes, there was no possible way she, of all people could have killed my husband. I believe the reason Alyssa chose this path, is not only because of her father, but because it's that path of everyone who's shown her love. The military has always been family, and one day, she will likely settle down and have a husband, and perhaps a few children of her own."
Riza sighed as she closed the door to her small sleeping quarters, leaning on the door heavily. On her days off, which were seldom, she'd taken to training the little girl, who wasn't quite so little anymore. She took great care in teaching the girl gun safety, that progressed into shooting standing targets, and then, moving ones. Riza's precise skill passed along to another generation. At first, she didn't like the idea, and wanted greatly to deny the child, but memories weren't so simple. Why should she forsake the daughter of a man whom she'd held dear in her heart? Why should she, a woman who went through great pains to reach her goals, tell another woman, though young, never to reach out for her beliefs? With those answers in mind, Riza nodded and unwillingly agreed. Now though, the little bit of regret remained. 'Is this what he would have wanted?' Riza always asked herself, coming up short.
'It's our job to enable them.' His memory would always tell her that. Sometimes she wondered if he would have said that about his own flesh and blood, but then again, that man, as kind and loving as he had been, had enabled children. In the end it welcomed his death after all. As a woman in the military, she'd seen great distress, war something of a code spoken under heated and wasted breath. The two brothers weren't the only children who fought. The little girl with a pet panda was also quite the little warrior, fighting hard for the people she cared for. The female engineer, also strove for her goals. There were many children who gave up such a gifted title, replacing it with one paved with sadness, etched in blood.
If it was because of a maternal bond, or womanly compassion, Riza was unsure. She had always cared deeply for those who could not care for themselves. Those who fought and struggled so hard, for an impossible dream, and never ending goals. She wasn't the only woman who felt that way. She was one of many military women who believed in such strong convictions. With great haste she ripped off her uniform, gun powder something that she didn't have a fondness for, odd, given her profession. She was a woman of the military, and kept her dog tags on all the time, but that's what she was, wasn't she? An attack dog who followed orders? A good little bitch? She sighed, hating all that she'd done, even if it meant victory.
The eyes of an old war hero, they never changed. Eyes were still eyes, killer, or savior, it never mattered.
Still the thought of children appealed to her, even if she was not as soft as a mother should be. She was not a woman who's kindness knew no bounds. She had a strict set of ideas, ones forged out of battle, her handgun never left her side. She had heard Izumi had wanted to become a parent, failing horrifically in so many ways. Riza had Ed and Al to thank, her many new friends, and allies only grew because of them, and the world they fought for. Ed was a father now, rather young, but happy. Al was still on his own journey through the world, trying to find himself. Neither of them were strangers around the central command, in fact, both of them were still respected in the highest honors. Still, they were just boys, and not blood forged men.
"Their ideals would never let them be that way." Riza laughed out loud, shaking her head as she turned on the shower. "God I miss them." In all honesty, she missed the joys of having youthful smiles. Ed, though just a boy at the time, was such a person, that Riza found him hard to let go of. He was so fragile, and yet, so strong. Like a flower that endures the worst of frosts. She missed the old military, not it's corruption, surely, but the friends that she kept so close. The people she'd held so near.
"You know, you could have waited for me." A welcome voice told her. "I need a shower too, that girl had me sweating bullets today." Maria Ross. A woman who's entire life would forever be hidden in the shadows. Her short dark brown hair was always neat and orderly. Her smile cheerful, hopeful, a wonderful light on a lonely day. "Hey, you okay?" Her voice often soft, and sweet, like honey. Her fingers well manicured, although slightly calloused from years of hard labor. "Riza..." A mere caress more powerful than words could say. "Look at me, please." Her body, that of an average woman, so normal, and that's what made her alluring.
"You shouldn't be here." Riza chastised the woman before her, closing her eyes, and backing away from temptation. "If you get caught, you'll be in major trouble." She hadn't wanted to notice the woman who owned temptation like a middle name. It was pure luck, after all, that she'd been found innocent. That Mustang, the upstart that he was, decided to trust a convict. He chose to believe Maria wasn't responsible for the murder. He knew the truth now, it had long since been handled. Still, the real truth was, Maria wasn't safe. "He won't like this..."
"Who?" Maria asked gently as the water rained over her body. "Roy?" They both knew he would be flat out pissed if Maria blew her cover. The woman was in a highly populated area, with so many reporters just willing to tell a story about a ghost of the past. "If he finds out, you can just open your door and let him join us. That should keep him quiet." She ran her fingers through her hair, letting the water run freely down her body, basking in the warmth. "I'll even let him wash my back, as long as he doesn't complain." The hint of seduction laced in her voice just had to be considered a deadly weapon.
"Damn it's getting hot in here." Riza sighed as she chanced a glance at her friend and occasional bedfellow. Maria was enjoying the water so much, she looked at peace, eyes closed as she ran her fingers over her body, washing away the sweat and grime she'd collected in training. The only thing the woman adorn was her watch, standard issue, military attire. She never took it off... That, and she never removed the shining piece of metal that hung around her neck. "You really are a lost puppy aren't you?" Riza sighed as she wrapped her arm's around Maria's neck, pulling her in close. "Coming back and putting yourself in harms way." The glint of metal, the reproduction of what she had be stripped of, the only thing that gave her an identity. "You really are an idiot."
"These say my home is here." Maria said softly, grasping onto her tags. "So I came home. Dead or not, I can still come home, can't I?"
"You don't belong here, it's not home." Riza knew this would be difficult. "Not for you."
"I am as close to home as I can be." Maria's warmth was welcomed.
"You should go back, across the desert where you'll be safe." But it still pained Riza, knowing the woman she loved was in danger.
"I don't want to be safe." She said, gazing deeply into the eyes of the blond. "I want to be with you."
"Don't lie." Riza sighed as she exited the shower, unwilling to listen any further. "You and Denny were going to be something one day. He cared about you a lot, you know? You could tell him at any point that you're still here...that you want him back. You could tell your family, you could have a normal life." It was something all of them wanted. Something so fleeting that even the two brothers fought hard to regain lost moments hidden within the depths of tragedy. "You wanted to many things Maria, after you got out. I would think, now would be the perfect time to pursue those goals."
"We followed dogs, Riza." Maria sighed out, looking at the woman she'd come to love. "Just as I followed Denny, you followed Roy. Granted, Roy's always had a plan to work his way up. He won't retire until he's old and gray, when he's lost the passion for battle, lost the will to change this country for all that it is, and showing us all what we could be." She laughed darkly, her family would never know, and it was better that way. "I could never tell my family what happened to me, they think I'm some bad person, who committed the worst crime ever." The pains of the past wouldn't ever heal though. "As for Denny, he knows I'm still here. That I'm alive." She shook her head, she had loved him, a lot, but she'd also caused him great suffering. "But he could never trust me again. He's moved on, Riza. I've lost my chances with him."
"I'm a woman, I'm in my thirties, I can't give you want you want." Riza knew that look, oh how often it had occurred during the war. When the scorching sand burned into them like melted iron. When there was no human contact, no hugs, no comfort for those monsters of the military. It was so cold, so lonely. Maria had been the first to crumble. She was after all, still new, and a mere recruit at the time. "I gave you what we both needed, nothing more." Riza had longed for someone who understood. She had fired upon many, her eyes looking through the scope, knowing who she hit, and who she missed. "Roy's worked hard to get this far, and I'm still tied down to his command."
"I don't care." Maria sighed, pulling Riza close, looking at the woman before her, so strong, and yet... "How could you tell me what I want, what I need?" Maria asked, her lips hovering over Riza's, their baited breaths mingling. "How could you deny what you don't understand?" Her kiss was greedy, her tears, they were pure. All of the need that had built up from being alone poured out in vast waves, and Riza felt she was being pulled away by the tides. The only question was something she was afraid to ask, she dreaded the answer she could receive.
'What is she fighting?' Riza thought, as Maria led her over to the bed, making her wishes and demands known. 'Why wouldn't I understand?' She wondered as sinful desires spoke truth neither were willing to admit. Still, as much as Riza's heart called for the answers, she never spoke the questions, and so, they never came. Lust flowed through them, the feeling as terrifying as that creature's face. 'Why can't she tell me?' The darkened wishes of two women something unspoken, lazy kisses something for more welcomed as they both cast aside the reasons.
Logic.
Motive.
Feelings.
They were all thrown away...
Forgotten.
Still, As the hungry kisses broke away the wall that protected them both, neither one knew what would come of this night. Why were they trying so hard to grasp onto the past? Why open the door, one that should forever remain closed? It was something they couldn't ask. They couldn't say. These two women, who also gambled it all away, for the men who followed a master.
"I'm a lone wolf now, Riza." Maria told her gently, although her eyes burned with passion. "But, I hate being alone. Don't let me go."
-End-
So, what did you think? I love this pairing and may do more with it, but I really want to know if I'm good enough...