Satanic messages in stairway

[kerley_q]

i am frustrated. today while im eating lunch my parents come home. I have the TV on which is technically not allowed but i really dont think they will care. However it appears that they do...they care ALOT. and they get really angry. so i decide to end this positively rediculous "fight" that we are in the midst of and go take a shower...this enrages my mother even more and the flips out at me. finally i get rid of her and get into the shower and they leave and i realise something. this fight that we just had was ludicris. So in the midst of my shower i freaked out. i started hyperventilating and sobbing and i was just so, disgusted at them. What kind of person acts like im injecting heroin into my eyeballs when all im doing is watching tv? i cant be like them i cant be like them i cant do it. i cant do ANY of it anymore. and i thought this and knew it so positively. I am so desparate for something impossible to happen to me because i think i might go insane. there is nothing that noone hasnt ever done before. nothing. and i just cant be another anonymous face i dont want to and its so desperatly degrading to know thats all im going to be. We have all our dreams, so fresh and fruity but its just all going to rot away with us. im not saying we are insignificant im saying we are identical which makes me sick. So i got out of my shower and got dressed without even brushing my teeth and i just left. i walked for four hours around and around and around down oxford st down reagents st and back again. i walked until i literally thought i was going to pass out and going home was so revolting. Because of course my parents wanted to have some kind of rediculous talk with me over my "behavior" and i had to choke it all down again. I had to listen to them tell me that i HAVE to be a suck up to EVERYONE and i should never confront anyone EVER and that they and every other fucking person in the world sees me as some arrogant bitch. im sorry that in class i dont act like a fuckwit. i apologize that i fucking know something. and apparently because the teachers at this shit hole arent used to someone who has some kind of thought other than the programmed bullshit that most people appear to have i have become the most despised person around. im not saying im wonderfully smart bc im NOT im just not nearly as smart as some people i have met but it just kills me that they dislike the fact that i have done this fucking stuff in 7th grade so i ALREADY FUCKING KNOW IT. this is so angsty and stupid but it needs to come out of somewhere. I hate how the world is against me right now, or at least the majority of people in my world are. i cant stand it. i have to watch tv or something.
i cant be around myself or all of this bull shit for a second longer because i really do think i might go insane.