Confessions
I feel like I am cheating on livejournal. I have been blogging all kinds of crazy thoughts on a website for military girlfriends and wives. (I don't even know if everyone knows that I started dating a soldier, and that he deployed to Afghanistan last month. I love him, and he feels like a good fit - but I refuse to jump to public conclusions and be wrong again like last time.)
I know, call it cheesy, WHATEVER. The fact remains that none of my friends understand what I'm going through at all. Some of them have been downright negative or snide about it. A lot of the girls on that website are stupid 18 year-old high school students who are "in love" with military grunts who could care less about them... and they're still more comforting than some of my friends have been. I'm not sure what that means.
I'm not sure why I'm posting this here other than the fact that it feels dishonest to post frivolous things all the time when really, I'm trying not to go crazy without him. When I've had heartburn and been nauseous for the past month despite having an iron stomach in the past. When I refresh my e-mail fifty times a day. When I've been feeling like a lunatic.
So... I'm carrying on just fine and busy with my job and having fun with the kitties and so excited spring is coming... but otherwise, I'm kind of a mess right now. If anyone has spare time, IMs are great, letters and e-mails are awesome... and maybe I'll keep my sanity and not drink myself to death.
(Mmmmmmm vodka in my vanilla diet coke....)
I know, call it cheesy, WHATEVER. The fact remains that none of my friends understand what I'm going through at all. Some of them have been downright negative or snide about it. A lot of the girls on that website are stupid 18 year-old high school students who are "in love" with military grunts who could care less about them... and they're still more comforting than some of my friends have been. I'm not sure what that means.
I'm not sure why I'm posting this here other than the fact that it feels dishonest to post frivolous things all the time when really, I'm trying not to go crazy without him. When I've had heartburn and been nauseous for the past month despite having an iron stomach in the past. When I refresh my e-mail fifty times a day. When I've been feeling like a lunatic.
So... I'm carrying on just fine and busy with my job and having fun with the kitties and so excited spring is coming... but otherwise, I'm kind of a mess right now. If anyone has spare time, IMs are great, letters and e-mails are awesome... and maybe I'll keep my sanity and not drink myself to death.
(Mmmmmmm vodka in my vanilla diet coke....)