Brigit's Flame, January, week #3
Prompt: grain
Warnings: language, violence, substance abuse, murder
The How-To Guide to Making a Great Drink
absinthe
tequila
vodka
rum
Kahlua
beer
Limoncello
Champagne
Blue Curaçao
brandy
port
bitters
sloe gin
maraschino cherry
whiskey
Scotch
Bourbon
Step #1: Combine the ingredients
It was Absinthe who started the fight when she pretended to see things. She swayed back and forth, moaning about green sparkles and fairies, until her bottle clunked into Limoncello's.
“Like, oh my God! Did you guys see that? She totally pushed me!” Limoncello shouted.
“She can't help it,” Rum said. “She's a hallucinogen.” No one commented on his eye patch. The last brawl had started over a snarky remark by one of the wines about gay pirates and they'd all learnt their lesson the hard way.
“I'm a hallucinogen-gen-gen!” Absinthe echoed. “Green … fairies ...”
“That's bullshit,” Limoncello said. “Why hasn't she ever hallucinated anything else? It's on her label so she thinks she's special or something. Well, she's not. You're not.”
“Whoa, man, you're, like, harshing my buzz,” Kahlua said. “Can you take it down a notch?”
Limoncello whirled around in the crowded liquor cabinet. “Can you, man? This isn't Hawaii.”
“I'm Mexican, man. One hundred percent Veracruz, baby!”
“Whatev.”
Vodka sighed. “This attitude of yours is unbecoming for a young lady of distinction. You're behaving like a Креатив. Do you want to end up like Tequila? Such a Чурка.”
“Don't tell me what to do! You're not my mom and junk,” Limoncello said.
“And I ain't dumb, lady.”
“No?” Vodka lit a cigarette and took a long drag. “Then why do you act like Sloe Gin over there? I suppose you are going to blame your worm again?”
“Duh.” Sloe Gin fizzed, as she was wont to do. “Duhhhhh ...”
“I ain't the one with the open flame in a box full of dynamite, lady,” Tequila said. “You gonna get us all killed.”
Vodka shrugged and flicked ash at the after-dinner wines, Brandy and Port, who were discussing foreign trade policy and didn't notice.
“Can I have one?” Limoncello asked. “Please?”
Vodka cracked the case and offered her a cigarette.
Step #2: Shake them up
The Beer brothers didn't mind the smoke, but no one else approved. “Open the cabinet,” Blue Curaçao suggested. “We need fresh air and sunshine and the breeze of the tropics!” The last time she'd been out to add color to a Bazooka Joe, she'd had time to read her label and found out that her main flavoring included Valencia orange peel distillate. Since then, it pleased her to imagine herself best suited to the climate of the Caribbean.
“No!” said Champagne, who usually kept her cork to herself. “I can't be in the light!”
Rum rattled his cap. “Put out the smoke, Vodka.”
“When did you turn into a Mент?” Vodka pushed him. A drop of Rum splashed on the floor.
“Fight!” shouted the grain alcohols, who were always looking for an excuse to brawl. The cousins had an ongoing feud, and Bourbon, Whiskey and Scotch didn't hesitate to clink glass. One shoved another until the whole cabinet was sloshing. Even Champagne jostled against Kahlua and turned blush. One of the Beer brothers was smashed to shards. In all, it was worse than last year's Christmas party.
Step #3: Strain
In the aftermath, the floor was sticky with the mix of spilt fluids, but even Bitters kept her comments to herself. For which everyone was thankful.
Step #4: Garnish your creation and enjoy!
Absinthe blinked. “What happened? Is that … Beer underfoot?”
Limoncello snorted. “As if you didn't know. Poseur.”
“Someone should clean this up,” Blue Curaçao said. “This environment isn't healthy. We need the air of the tropics in here ...”
Vodka lit another cigarette.
“Well, it ain't gonna be me,” Tequila said. “I got me a date with the Maraschino Cherry sisters. Hoo-eee!”
“Oh yeah?” Rum perked up. “Which one?”
“The whole bottle!” Tequila cackled. “See you later, bitchez!”
“Will you put out that smoke?” Blue Curaçao asked.
“No.”
“Then I'm going to put it out for you.”
“You and what Пиндос?”
“Fight!”
“Duhhh...” Sloe Gin watched the pretty colors and ate a random cherry that showed up in the middle of the fracas. It was a perfect day. That was why she loved her friends and life in the liquor cabinet: she never knew what was going to happen.
And also, she loved cherries even though they gave her the fizz.
.
Warnings: language, violence, substance abuse, murder
The How-To Guide to Making a Great Drink
absinthe
tequila
vodka
rum
Kahlua
beer
Limoncello
Champagne
Blue Curaçao
brandy
port
bitters
sloe gin
maraschino cherry
whiskey
Scotch
Bourbon
Step #1: Combine the ingredients
It was Absinthe who started the fight when she pretended to see things. She swayed back and forth, moaning about green sparkles and fairies, until her bottle clunked into Limoncello's.
“Like, oh my God! Did you guys see that? She totally pushed me!” Limoncello shouted.
“She can't help it,” Rum said. “She's a hallucinogen.” No one commented on his eye patch. The last brawl had started over a snarky remark by one of the wines about gay pirates and they'd all learnt their lesson the hard way.
“I'm a hallucinogen-gen-gen!” Absinthe echoed. “Green … fairies ...”
“That's bullshit,” Limoncello said. “Why hasn't she ever hallucinated anything else? It's on her label so she thinks she's special or something. Well, she's not. You're not.”
“Whoa, man, you're, like, harshing my buzz,” Kahlua said. “Can you take it down a notch?”
Limoncello whirled around in the crowded liquor cabinet. “Can you, man? This isn't Hawaii.”
“I'm Mexican, man. One hundred percent Veracruz, baby!”
“Whatev.”
Vodka sighed. “This attitude of yours is unbecoming for a young lady of distinction. You're behaving like a Креатив. Do you want to end up like Tequila? Such a Чурка.”
“Don't tell me what to do! You're not my mom and junk,” Limoncello said.
“And I ain't dumb, lady.”
“No?” Vodka lit a cigarette and took a long drag. “Then why do you act like Sloe Gin over there? I suppose you are going to blame your worm again?”
“Duh.” Sloe Gin fizzed, as she was wont to do. “Duhhhhh ...”
“I ain't the one with the open flame in a box full of dynamite, lady,” Tequila said. “You gonna get us all killed.”
Vodka shrugged and flicked ash at the after-dinner wines, Brandy and Port, who were discussing foreign trade policy and didn't notice.
“Can I have one?” Limoncello asked. “Please?”
Vodka cracked the case and offered her a cigarette.
Step #2: Shake them up
The Beer brothers didn't mind the smoke, but no one else approved. “Open the cabinet,” Blue Curaçao suggested. “We need fresh air and sunshine and the breeze of the tropics!” The last time she'd been out to add color to a Bazooka Joe, she'd had time to read her label and found out that her main flavoring included Valencia orange peel distillate. Since then, it pleased her to imagine herself best suited to the climate of the Caribbean.
“No!” said Champagne, who usually kept her cork to herself. “I can't be in the light!”
Rum rattled his cap. “Put out the smoke, Vodka.”
“When did you turn into a Mент?” Vodka pushed him. A drop of Rum splashed on the floor.
“Fight!” shouted the grain alcohols, who were always looking for an excuse to brawl. The cousins had an ongoing feud, and Bourbon, Whiskey and Scotch didn't hesitate to clink glass. One shoved another until the whole cabinet was sloshing. Even Champagne jostled against Kahlua and turned blush. One of the Beer brothers was smashed to shards. In all, it was worse than last year's Christmas party.
Step #3: Strain
In the aftermath, the floor was sticky with the mix of spilt fluids, but even Bitters kept her comments to herself. For which everyone was thankful.
Step #4: Garnish your creation and enjoy!
Absinthe blinked. “What happened? Is that … Beer underfoot?”
Limoncello snorted. “As if you didn't know. Poseur.”
“Someone should clean this up,” Blue Curaçao said. “This environment isn't healthy. We need the air of the tropics in here ...”
Vodka lit another cigarette.
“Well, it ain't gonna be me,” Tequila said. “I got me a date with the Maraschino Cherry sisters. Hoo-eee!”
“Oh yeah?” Rum perked up. “Which one?”
“The whole bottle!” Tequila cackled. “See you later, bitchez!”
“Will you put out that smoke?” Blue Curaçao asked.
“No.”
“Then I'm going to put it out for you.”
“You and what Пиндос?”
“Fight!”
“Duhhh...” Sloe Gin watched the pretty colors and ate a random cherry that showed up in the middle of the fracas. It was a perfect day. That was why she loved her friends and life in the liquor cabinet: she never knew what was going to happen.
And also, she loved cherries even though they gave her the fizz.
.