Comments | keppiehed: Brigit's Flame Week 4 April

keppiehed

Brigit's Flame Week 4 April

Apr 26, 2011 16:18

Title: After
Author: Keppiehed
Rating: PG
Warnings: none
Word Count: 572
Prompt: Ya'aburnee: Arabic incantatory word that means You bury me. It's a declaration of one’s hope that they’ll die before a loved one, because of how difficult it would be to live without them.
A/N: Written for week #4 at Brigits_flame. I'd like to say that this prompt hit upon one of my ( Read more... )

entry: brigits flame april, flash fiction, prompt: ya'aburnee, week 4

Comments 19

(The comment has been removed)

keppiehed April 26 2011, 23:33:20 UTC

Oooh! I am so glad you think so! I was worried that it was all melodramatic and that I was dragging on. You reassured me when I really needed it. Thank you!

rubyelf April 27 2011, 01:45:07 UTC

So poignant... you've been on a roll this month, what with the volcano and such and then this... woo-hoo!

keppiehed April 27 2011, 01:52:25 UTC

Really? Like I just said to you, the ones I think are the worst ... *laughs* Thank you. Really! *hugs*

leticiae April 27 2011, 01:55:31 UTC

This one made me cry. It reminded me too much of my father.

Well done.

keppiehed April 27 2011, 02:02:08 UTC

Oh, I'm so sorry about your father. You know, I always love to know I hit a literary nerve, but never a real one. *hugs*

leticiae April 27 2011, 03:06:05 UTC

Thanks. They're both gone now, so I like to think they're happy again together.

bardiphouka April 27 2011, 09:28:28 UTC

Having been there, this is a topic I am hesitant about. But you pull it off very so well, from the hook in the first line to the use of a shroud to imply that the person being addressed has suffered/is suffering their own death to that brief moment of seeing their life together and knowing these are the memories that make things worse. Until one day you wake up and cannot quite recall your lover's face, which is also implied, something often forgotten about. Makes me hope I do not go through that again..well done, ever so well done.

keppiehed April 27 2011, 16:14:02 UTC

I am glad you saw all of the subtleties I was aiming for. Grief is a subject I know all too well about myself, and so in this I am able to write from experience, which is not usually the case in my work. Thank you for reading, although I am sorry it struck a close chord with you.

sunnythirty3 April 27 2011, 10:26:58 UTC

You're good, Kep. Very good. :)

keppiehed April 27 2011, 16:14:45 UTC

Aw, Sunny. Thank you. You know how much I doubt sometimes.