my belly button is not a part of my body
So I had surgery on Thursday to have my gallbladder removed.
I guess I should start at the beginning huh?
Ok, so back in December.. the day before christmas to be exact I was diagnosed with hepititis A. Basically that is a glorified version of food poisoning only it is like have the flu 10 times over and it really sucks. I was hospitalized and everything. Well for months they had to monitor my liver until I had a clean blood test saying no hep A. Well then I started having these huge pains in the right side and basically everything I ate went right through... and when I say that please use your imagination and I'm pretty sure you can figure it out! Needless to say it was very gross. So I went to the doctor and she said that she thought either I had a problem with my liver or gallbladder so she booked an appointment with a surgen in one week from that day and had me book to have an ultrasound the very next day.
The ultrasound sucked. I'm a BIG girl and my side hurts so having this person pressing down on the my tummy especially where it hurt to get a "good picture" is not fun. Course me being me I had to ask this ultra skinny chick if it was harder to do an ultrasound on a fat person. I thought she was gonna faint.. she kinda got wide eyed and looked at the screen even harder. I laughed and said "hey, you can be honest. I'm a fat girl and I'm the one who happened to ask the question so you can tell me the truth. Heck I wouldn't have asked if I didn't want to hear the answer" so after that she said "yeah" and everything was hunky dorry.
Ok, so I arrive at the surgens and by this time only a week had passed but I felt like I wanted to rip my tummy open cause the right side hurt so bad. I finally get to see the doctor and he's like well here's what's up.... the ultrasound shows that both my liver and gallbladder are way too big but what shows up the best is all of the gall stones so that puppy needs to come out. He didn't actually call my gallbladder a puppy.. I put that in myself.
So I arrive one week later at the hospital to check myself in for surgery. My momma takes me there at 7:30am and I get into the actual surgery around 10am... course I'm jumping ahead of myself. They drew some blood which was cool... barely felt the needle, that nurse was a true vampire! lol But right when I was expecting them to put the IV in my hand they say no. They like to put them in your arm.. my forearm to be exact. I'm like what?!?! Yeah so I freaked until the lady tells me that they numb the area first.. yay!!!!! So she numbs the spot but my buggar of a vein doesn't cooperate so she says my wrist... I thought I was gonna die... really.. the first one didn't hurt at all but even though she numbed my wrist it hurt like bloody hell!!! I thought I was gonna pass out.... so she got a new nurse and she tried above my elbow on the same poor arm but it wouldn't go.. I was like please just stick me in the the hand!!! But she moved to the other arm and got it first try. YAY!!! Needless to say I was happy... so we wait and watch some animal planet... finally they come to get me....
At around 12:10pm I wake up and hurt like a dozen elephants had been doing a tap dance on my tummy.
I now had 4 holes in my stomach and it hurt like hell.
They told me to take it easy and to take good even breaths until I woke up the rest of the way.
I said "ok, but I hurt and I'm thirsty"
Of course they couldn't give me any water yet but they gave me some pain meds which didn't work. The more I woke up the more my stomach muscles spasimed. I didn't realize how much I clenched my tummy muscles!!!! So they gave me a different kind of meds and I still hurt like bloody hell. Then they tell me that within the next 6 hours I need to get out of bed and walk. Me being me I was like, let's get this over with and had the nurse try to help me up but as soon as I swung my legs over the side I knew I wasn't getting up so she left me alone and told me what a trooper I was for wanting to try so soon.
A trooper.... me? lol
So I had my momma help me for over an hour try to inch a little closer to the edge until I was about to fall off, then I stood up but immediately sat back down it hurt so much and I was so weak. So for the next 15 minutes I tried standing up. A nurse then came in and asked how I managed to sit up and I explained.. she was in awe lol. So she asked if I was up to walking and of course I was so we walked.
I felt like an old woman who had to walk like she was sitting... think of an upside down L lol... that's how I looked.. until it happened!
During the surgery I had to have a breathing tube and the doc had warned me that I would feel like coughing after the surgery. All of the nurses said that I had to hold my tummy if I felt like coughing, hiccuping or anything! So I started to cough and the nurse says "hold your belly" so I do and I felt something pop... guess that was my tummy muscle "righting" itself after surgery... omg I thought I was gonna die!!! So I lean against a wall and fight off fainting... the nurse offers a wheel chair and I say no... so after a bit we walk back.
So you know how you have to provide the hospital with a list of drugs you are allergic to before going into surgery? Well I gave them one.. a nice big one.
I was still complaining of pain so they give me lortabs... I thought they were heaven on earth until I puked up my grape jucie and the frothy mess of whatever was left of the pills. The nurse assures me it was just the juice... she said some ppl cannot tolerate the really sweet stuff right after surgery so I eat my mashed potatoes and jello and am free to go home.
My momma stops at Wal-Mart to fill the prescription for lortabs and guess what the pharmacy lady tells her? I guess Lortabs are just Hydrocodone and Acetaminophen, two drugs that I happen to be allergic to. They give me severe headaches, make it difficult for me to breathe and make me puke my guts up!
Funny....
So here I am 5 days after my surgery and I am convinced that my belly button is not part of my body anymore.. instead there is this evil pain machine planted there because man does it hurt!!!!!!!!!! If you want to know why.. maybe you should look up how they do gallbladder surgerys these days and you will understand.
I mourn my belly button....
-sob-
I guess I should start at the beginning huh?
Ok, so back in December.. the day before christmas to be exact I was diagnosed with hepititis A. Basically that is a glorified version of food poisoning only it is like have the flu 10 times over and it really sucks. I was hospitalized and everything. Well for months they had to monitor my liver until I had a clean blood test saying no hep A. Well then I started having these huge pains in the right side and basically everything I ate went right through... and when I say that please use your imagination and I'm pretty sure you can figure it out! Needless to say it was very gross. So I went to the doctor and she said that she thought either I had a problem with my liver or gallbladder so she booked an appointment with a surgen in one week from that day and had me book to have an ultrasound the very next day.
The ultrasound sucked. I'm a BIG girl and my side hurts so having this person pressing down on the my tummy especially where it hurt to get a "good picture" is not fun. Course me being me I had to ask this ultra skinny chick if it was harder to do an ultrasound on a fat person. I thought she was gonna faint.. she kinda got wide eyed and looked at the screen even harder. I laughed and said "hey, you can be honest. I'm a fat girl and I'm the one who happened to ask the question so you can tell me the truth. Heck I wouldn't have asked if I didn't want to hear the answer" so after that she said "yeah" and everything was hunky dorry.
Ok, so I arrive at the surgens and by this time only a week had passed but I felt like I wanted to rip my tummy open cause the right side hurt so bad. I finally get to see the doctor and he's like well here's what's up.... the ultrasound shows that both my liver and gallbladder are way too big but what shows up the best is all of the gall stones so that puppy needs to come out. He didn't actually call my gallbladder a puppy.. I put that in myself.
So I arrive one week later at the hospital to check myself in for surgery. My momma takes me there at 7:30am and I get into the actual surgery around 10am... course I'm jumping ahead of myself. They drew some blood which was cool... barely felt the needle, that nurse was a true vampire! lol But right when I was expecting them to put the IV in my hand they say no. They like to put them in your arm.. my forearm to be exact. I'm like what?!?! Yeah so I freaked until the lady tells me that they numb the area first.. yay!!!!! So she numbs the spot but my buggar of a vein doesn't cooperate so she says my wrist... I thought I was gonna die... really.. the first one didn't hurt at all but even though she numbed my wrist it hurt like bloody hell!!! I thought I was gonna pass out.... so she got a new nurse and she tried above my elbow on the same poor arm but it wouldn't go.. I was like please just stick me in the the hand!!! But she moved to the other arm and got it first try. YAY!!! Needless to say I was happy... so we wait and watch some animal planet... finally they come to get me....
At around 12:10pm I wake up and hurt like a dozen elephants had been doing a tap dance on my tummy.
I now had 4 holes in my stomach and it hurt like hell.
They told me to take it easy and to take good even breaths until I woke up the rest of the way.
I said "ok, but I hurt and I'm thirsty"
Of course they couldn't give me any water yet but they gave me some pain meds which didn't work. The more I woke up the more my stomach muscles spasimed. I didn't realize how much I clenched my tummy muscles!!!! So they gave me a different kind of meds and I still hurt like bloody hell. Then they tell me that within the next 6 hours I need to get out of bed and walk. Me being me I was like, let's get this over with and had the nurse try to help me up but as soon as I swung my legs over the side I knew I wasn't getting up so she left me alone and told me what a trooper I was for wanting to try so soon.
A trooper.... me? lol
So I had my momma help me for over an hour try to inch a little closer to the edge until I was about to fall off, then I stood up but immediately sat back down it hurt so much and I was so weak. So for the next 15 minutes I tried standing up. A nurse then came in and asked how I managed to sit up and I explained.. she was in awe lol. So she asked if I was up to walking and of course I was so we walked.
I felt like an old woman who had to walk like she was sitting... think of an upside down L lol... that's how I looked.. until it happened!
During the surgery I had to have a breathing tube and the doc had warned me that I would feel like coughing after the surgery. All of the nurses said that I had to hold my tummy if I felt like coughing, hiccuping or anything! So I started to cough and the nurse says "hold your belly" so I do and I felt something pop... guess that was my tummy muscle "righting" itself after surgery... omg I thought I was gonna die!!! So I lean against a wall and fight off fainting... the nurse offers a wheel chair and I say no... so after a bit we walk back.
So you know how you have to provide the hospital with a list of drugs you are allergic to before going into surgery? Well I gave them one.. a nice big one.
I was still complaining of pain so they give me lortabs... I thought they were heaven on earth until I puked up my grape jucie and the frothy mess of whatever was left of the pills. The nurse assures me it was just the juice... she said some ppl cannot tolerate the really sweet stuff right after surgery so I eat my mashed potatoes and jello and am free to go home.
My momma stops at Wal-Mart to fill the prescription for lortabs and guess what the pharmacy lady tells her? I guess Lortabs are just Hydrocodone and Acetaminophen, two drugs that I happen to be allergic to. They give me severe headaches, make it difficult for me to breathe and make me puke my guts up!
Funny....
So here I am 5 days after my surgery and I am convinced that my belly button is not part of my body anymore.. instead there is this evil pain machine planted there because man does it hurt!!!!!!!!!! If you want to know why.. maybe you should look up how they do gallbladder surgerys these days and you will understand.
I mourn my belly button....
-sob-