Updates on my life.....
I went home sick from the waffle today. The room was kinda spinning for a little while there. Mikie took me home and we had a long talk about all kinds of stuff. He played the shrink and I was on the couch trying to answer his questions as well as I could. The only thing I don't like about sessions like these is that I tend to give the "I don't know" answer and sometimes I really don't know and that frustrates me because if I don't know then who does? I'm going to need to have a really long talk with Jeremy soon. I want to know what he thinks he is getting out of this relationship. Things are definitely not the way they used to be and I want to know why.
I just got Portland State University to send me some brochures and information about the school and shtuff so I can look even more into moving up there. I just hope I'm doing this for the right reasons. Let's see the reasons I have so far are: I miss Lorraine. I want to go to school. I need Lorraine in my life more so than she is now. I want to finally do something really good for myself. I want to learn how to better my talents. I want to move out of Utah and I loved Oregon when I was there. I can get away from all the things that make me feel like I'm not good enough when I'm being myself. I want Lorraine. (Does it seem like I miss Lorraine a lot?)
I hate Jake! He was in town a couple days ago and he just kept pushing my buttons. He spent two hours trying to convince me to get back with him and then I spent two hours convincing him that he should go back to St. George. I already went down that road with Jake and I know what will happen if I go back to it and I really don't want to deal with those consequences. I haven't had thoughts about getting back with Jake since last year. I am so over him but he doesn't want to understand that. No matter what I tell him he will always think that there is a chance that we will live happily ever after. (Lorraine, he still worships you like the goddess of knowledge!)
BTW, I saw all the birthday things and thank you very much. I loved the poem and the monkey picture, Lorraine.
I better get going so that I can go back to my search of art colleges in Oregon. I love you all! *MUAH*
I just got Portland State University to send me some brochures and information about the school and shtuff so I can look even more into moving up there. I just hope I'm doing this for the right reasons. Let's see the reasons I have so far are: I miss Lorraine. I want to go to school. I need Lorraine in my life more so than she is now. I want to finally do something really good for myself. I want to learn how to better my talents. I want to move out of Utah and I loved Oregon when I was there. I can get away from all the things that make me feel like I'm not good enough when I'm being myself. I want Lorraine. (Does it seem like I miss Lorraine a lot?)
I hate Jake! He was in town a couple days ago and he just kept pushing my buttons. He spent two hours trying to convince me to get back with him and then I spent two hours convincing him that he should go back to St. George. I already went down that road with Jake and I know what will happen if I go back to it and I really don't want to deal with those consequences. I haven't had thoughts about getting back with Jake since last year. I am so over him but he doesn't want to understand that. No matter what I tell him he will always think that there is a chance that we will live happily ever after. (Lorraine, he still worships you like the goddess of knowledge!)
BTW, I saw all the birthday things and thank you very much. I loved the poem and the monkey picture, Lorraine.
I better get going so that I can go back to my search of art colleges in Oregon. I love you all! *MUAH*