(no subject)
So there's this boy, upon whom I apparently have a huge crush. If I were honest with myself which of course I'm not I've known about these feelings for him for most of a year. He was dating a girl at the time, so I didn't act, because I saw he was happy and wanted him to be happy. Then they broke up, and I didn't make a move because I saw he needed friend for a bit not a new girlfriend. Then summer came and I didn't see him for a long time because I was a chickenshit retarded coward and didn't tell him before summer break Then I finally met him again at the movies and could barely talk but I was too surprised at first to say anything, then the movie was going and I was going to flirt at him but one of the girls we'd coagulated into a group with had ended up in tears, and compassion won out over lust, which I don't regret in the slightest, though I would've liked to have had the chance to flirt with him, but lo he was going to pride prom. Oh the hotness, sexy guys in formal wear.
Dance was fun I showed up pretty early ate plenty of icecream and then, because he was no where in sight got up to dance and it only took two people to get me past the shyness and the worrying because I feel like I'm half-naked and being held together by loose dentalfloss. So then well past the half-way point he finally shows up and I spot him dancing with this girl he came in with frak. So I figure that's alright I'll catch him on the next dance, he disappears I can only guess to the mens room. So I keep dancing with other people and then notice finally he's back and dancing with a different girl, which was sweet because it meant he wasn't going to dance with that one girl the whole night, and I could catch him on the next dance. But at some point during that song the new girl ended up with her hands cuffed behind him and his hands on her waist, yes on the dance floor in hand-cuffs. My vivid imagination and frustrating libido decide to wage jihad against my tuck. O_o that's painfull for those of you who don't have penises and or have never tried to make them dissapear by squishing them back into you body and pressing it up between your legs. So off to the little girl's room to try and think of tap dancing zombies until that mental image went away long enough to fix things downstairs so they were unnoticable again. And so it continued in much the same fassion each time I started to try and tell him stuff would happen then it was last dance and he was no where in sight, so I set to changing back into normal cloths in the womens room, normal women's cloths. Then low and behold he appears in the hall, and I choke on my tongue. He jokes about changing back into normal cloths, give me a friendly hug and leaves.
$(*#$ #%*@^! #*$#% *sob*
Well I found his AIM screenname so if I see him online or in person again I'm telling myself I'll just point blank tell him. But goddess right now I need some "play-time" and some girl talk. *sigh* I don't suppose anyone remotely local wants to offer either?
Dance was fun I showed up pretty early ate plenty of icecream and then, because he was no where in sight got up to dance and it only took two people to get me past the shyness and the worrying because I feel like I'm half-naked and being held together by loose dentalfloss. So then well past the half-way point he finally shows up and I spot him dancing with this girl he came in with frak. So I figure that's alright I'll catch him on the next dance, he disappears I can only guess to the mens room. So I keep dancing with other people and then notice finally he's back and dancing with a different girl, which was sweet because it meant he wasn't going to dance with that one girl the whole night, and I could catch him on the next dance. But at some point during that song the new girl ended up with her hands cuffed behind him and his hands on her waist, yes on the dance floor in hand-cuffs. My vivid imagination and frustrating libido decide to wage jihad against my tuck. O_o that's painfull for those of you who don't have penises and or have never tried to make them dissapear by squishing them back into you body and pressing it up between your legs. So off to the little girl's room to try and think of tap dancing zombies until that mental image went away long enough to fix things downstairs so they were unnoticable again. And so it continued in much the same fassion each time I started to try and tell him stuff would happen then it was last dance and he was no where in sight, so I set to changing back into normal cloths in the womens room, normal women's cloths. Then low and behold he appears in the hall, and I choke on my tongue. He jokes about changing back into normal cloths, give me a friendly hug and leaves.
$(*#$ #%*@^! #*$#% *sob*
Well I found his AIM screenname so if I see him online or in person again I'm telling myself I'll just point blank tell him. But goddess right now I need some "play-time" and some girl talk. *sigh* I don't suppose anyone remotely local wants to offer either?