Stephen Colbert has been sporting some facial injuries for the past few days.

He has claimed it could have happened by "practicing for a walk-on role in Cirque du Soleil and overestimating the number of French Canadians my forehead would support."

*sigh* George Carlin has left us. He once said that, thanks to our new, softer, P.C. language, he would never have to die, he would merely pass away. And so he has. 'Tis a sad, sad day. Then again, I think I will follow some of George's sage advice:

"Have a nice day!!!"

O.O

I shite you not...

Clay Aiken has joined the cast of "Spamalot" as Sir Robin.

Three months ago, he thought Monty Python was a person.

Go fig...

If I had been in charge of reorganizing the government's security agencies into a homeland defense organization, I would have divided the responsibilities into two agencies: The Bureau of What the Fuck Was That? and The Department of What the Fuck Are We Gonna Do Now?

YOU KNOW ( Read more... )

"The American people don't choose presidents; Chuck Norris does."

He's backing Mike Huckabee.

Apparently, he didn't get the memo that it has been declared that - after Billy-boy - no one can be elected to the office of President of the United States of America after having been Governor of Arkansas for the next one-hundred years.

Musicians fall in love when they find someone who Rogers their Hammerstein and gives their Gilbert a Sullivan.

I've been enjoying a new band from England called So Long, Mate ( Read more... )

All your life, you hear the explaination about the difference between an optimist (dreamer, escapist, etc.) and a pessimist (realist, etc.). It goes as such ( Read more... )

I'm very lucky. The only time I was ever up shit creek, I just happened to have a paddle with me.

...expert linguists at Oxford shall remove from the English language its most disgusting word.

And that word...

is MOIST...