Spotless minds
I don't know what got me thinking about Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind today but I was. I remember a friend telling me he watched it on Valentine's day with his roommate and didn't understand why his roommate got so upset because it wasn't that sad. I just looked at him and told him, that's because you've obviously never had your heart broken so badly that you would give anything to forget you ever loved that person at all.
I think anyone can break anyone else heart as long as the first person trusted them. Trust means letting your guard down and that's when you really get hurt. It hurts when a short relationship ends because of the possibility it could have had but long relationships are different. When you look back unlike a short relationship you don't wonder what could have been but you wonder what the other person is doing and if their life is better with out you in it. If the answer is yes, could be yes might be yes, or you just don't know because you aren't in their life at all anymore it does almost seem preferable to forget. Then, nothing that reminds you of them hurts. No songs, places, food, ect. You don't have to question if you actually enjoy those things or only like them because of the good memories that now have bittersweetness attached.
What does it mean when people walk out of our lives by choice? If they don't care now, did they ever? What changed? Would it be better to just forget?
I guess it all goes back to philosophy. It's argued that to feel true joy, you must know pain. But if that's true, why so much pain? Why so much suffering? Young people die. Children are orphans. There are pandemics and genocide all over the world. Is it any wonder as humans it is a fantasy to forget our pain.
Sorry to anyone who read all this depressing crap. It's 4 a.m. and I'm sick again and can't sleep. I see the doctor in Ann Arbor Thursday and the optimists in my life have told me this one will have answers for sure but I'm calling him doctor number 11 until he proves himself. I wish I could forget my physical pain for a while and not sleeping makes me dwell on lost relationships which is even more depressing. At least I have a happy purring kitten. I heard in a song today that if the stars are your friends you'll never be alone in the night or some thing equally cheesey but I liked it so I'll end with a happy thought.
I think anyone can break anyone else heart as long as the first person trusted them. Trust means letting your guard down and that's when you really get hurt. It hurts when a short relationship ends because of the possibility it could have had but long relationships are different. When you look back unlike a short relationship you don't wonder what could have been but you wonder what the other person is doing and if their life is better with out you in it. If the answer is yes, could be yes might be yes, or you just don't know because you aren't in their life at all anymore it does almost seem preferable to forget. Then, nothing that reminds you of them hurts. No songs, places, food, ect. You don't have to question if you actually enjoy those things or only like them because of the good memories that now have bittersweetness attached.
What does it mean when people walk out of our lives by choice? If they don't care now, did they ever? What changed? Would it be better to just forget?
I guess it all goes back to philosophy. It's argued that to feel true joy, you must know pain. But if that's true, why so much pain? Why so much suffering? Young people die. Children are orphans. There are pandemics and genocide all over the world. Is it any wonder as humans it is a fantasy to forget our pain.
Sorry to anyone who read all this depressing crap. It's 4 a.m. and I'm sick again and can't sleep. I see the doctor in Ann Arbor Thursday and the optimists in my life have told me this one will have answers for sure but I'm calling him doctor number 11 until he proves himself. I wish I could forget my physical pain for a while and not sleeping makes me dwell on lost relationships which is even more depressing. At least I have a happy purring kitten. I heard in a song today that if the stars are your friends you'll never be alone in the night or some thing equally cheesey but I liked it so I'll end with a happy thought.