Baby Boy Part One (KakuHida Fanfiction)
Title: Baby Boy
Author: Piratedolliebaby
Rating: M
Category: Horror/Humor
Fandom: Naruto
Pairing(s): Kakuhida, Tobidei, PeinKona, KisaIta
Chapters: 1/?
Summary: “If I hear one more word out of your mouth before I eat dinner, I’ll give you something serious to complain about.” (Lemon, yaoi, Mpreg, gore, romance…if you could call it romance…and much revenge.)
AN: Okay, this story sprouted while I was on the phone with my friend Lizzie. We’re total Narutards, and I have several reasons to believe that Hidan could successfully pull off a pregnancy. So stuff it, for those of you who don’t know what I’m gonna do. It’ll be funny and interesting, let me tell you, and most of all, it will have a little smut. In fact, this first chapter has smut. So…anyone who is uncomfy with that, just skip it and go on to the next one. Or skim through and find what you can deal with, because there will be some parts crucial to the plot in this chapter. I hope to make it a few pages long, rather than two or three. Even six would be lovely, but I’ll see what I can do. Anyway, without further adieu, here we go!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chapter One: Engage
Never in his life had Kakuzu been so verbally abused. It seemed that every single curse word or insult that popped into his partner’s brain would rush right out to greet him. After the first fifteen minutes, Kakuzu had admittedly become a little irked; but this was reaching into its second hour, and the stitched-nin was half-tempted to remove Hidan’s head and throw it in the trash. Not that he was totally sure that would help; Hidan would still find a way to bitch at him. A sigh left his lips and he rolled his absent green eyes.
“Are you done?” He rumbled after another fifteen minutes of ranting, eyes narrowing. If there was any one way to stop a Hidan-style bitchfit, Kakuzu was a master of it. When all he was answered with was a more ardent string of bad words and threats, he surged forward and crushed his lips into Hidan’s. The albino fought it hazily, but when those massive, strong hands closed around his upper arms, he gave up the goat. The kiss was rough and full of teeth doing just what Hidan loved. Biting everything from lips to tongues to other teeth, he found his hands running along the taller man’s stitched arms, fingers pushing under the threads best they could.
Other than the fact it was more gory flesh to touch, Kakuzu was at a loss to explain why Hidan liked feeling bare muscles and veins. The smaller body pulled at the threads, all the while pushing at the larger man until he felt something against the back of his leg. Kakuzu tumbled over onto his back, feeling chilly hands splay on his stomach. If there was one thing he had learned about Hidan, it was that he always had cold hands and feet, and that he never could resist his more primal urges when they were brought up. It had been his plan all along to get Hidan to stop complaining about everything, and the only two ways he could think of were to get him something to slaughter and sacrifice to Jashin, or to get him entangled in a sensual paradise. He often opted for the second one, because he usually didn’t get anything out of the first.
Clothes were removed before a hard bite to his lip brought Kakuzu back to reality, and he blinked a bit, looking cross-eyed at the purple-eyed devil attached to him. Tugging hard, it appeared Hidan’s goal was to rip the poor thing right off of Kakuzu’s face. With a growl, the larger man shoved his partner over, onto the bed on his side before practically climbing over him and pushing him over further, straddling his slim, pale hips. With a wide smile, the Jashinist ground his hips forward and upward, releasing a guttural growl into their grunts and grumbles.
Both men twisted and conformed to each other, their bodies becoming one quicker than Hidan had hoped. He liked a bit more foreplay, but he certainly didn’t mind the sudden fullness, a groan in his throat. Eyes fluttering, the small priest gazed up into those backward-colored eyes with his own glazed. Between the two of them, this was all they’d really do together. At least, that they’d both participate in, save for bloody rituals that usually resulted in sex.
As it stood, Kakuzu simply flooded into Hidan, leaving the younger male nothing more than a limp puddle of moans and blood. He always loved this kind of squabbling; when things between them got too heated, it usually ended this way, so that they both got joy out of every complaint. His nails dug into Kakuzu’s back, and his legs suddenly jumped around his hips, hooking there. After only a little while, Kakuzu found his release, moments before leaving Hidan’s body. Of course, the Jashinist certainly wasn’t happy anymore.
As soon as Kakuzu left him laying there, the ex-priest growled and sat up, nearly spitting fire.
“Why the fuck did you stop, you boner-biting prick?” He nearly yowled, looking down at himself with disgust. Kakuzu could be such a moron sometimes. It was at this time the albino eyed his scythe, standing up near the door. Kakuzu simply rolled his eyes.
“You’re usually right behind me.” He pointed out, retreating to a desk and digging for something. “If you’re gonna be that pissed about it, get on all fours.” As he spoke, he pulled out a sharply pronged whip. Hidan was sure to finish soon.
Once he saw the device, the smaller man rolled over onto his hands and knees almost too fast. It was obvious that Hidan liked this part, especially when the thick leather left a blood-filled lick to his rear, a large gash being left behind while a loud cry of joy left his lips. With each motion, more and more blood was spilled onto the cheap sheets of Kakuzu’s bed. The harder and more lethal the hit, the more joy Hidan got out of it. Three of the hook-like barbs caught onto his side near his ribs and clung to him, tearing down his body with no more reactions than that of a suddenly-weak Hidan dropping to the bed with pleasure-filled moans. Finally, the shorter male was done.
Once he had put everything away, Kakuzu watched as his partner’s breathing slowed and his brain turned off. It was now that he noticed just how much blood Hidan had lost. With a sigh, he hefted up the body laying limp on the bed and somehow managed to tug some pants up. His next stop was the shower; a large room with several showers inside it. One per member, but they were big enough to fit two. Lugging Hidan’s form into the first stall he came to, he started up the water.
It wasn’t often that he took the time to do this for his “lover”, but on occasion he didn’t want Hidan to wake up complaining. After cleaning up his body well and figuring spots that would heal into scars, he set about grabbing shampoo and washing his hair. He hissed slightly at the condition of the other’s left ear; it looked like a dog had gotten to it or something.
Once he was done in the shower, he dried them both off and went right back to the room they’d been busy in. He cleared a space on the desk and set Hidan down carefully, before cleaning up his bed. Once everything was taken care of, Hidan and his things were moved into his own room. If all of this work didn’t appease his partner, all Hell would break loose.
~~+~~
The next day was actually fairly quiet, that is, until Hidan woke up around two o’clock. The first word out of his mouth was none-other-than “fuck”, and shortly after he was almost yelling. Charging into Kakuzu’s room, he made his first mistake of the day; barging in on and interrupting Kakuzu’s money-counting. The zombie-like man sighed exasperatedly as Hidan, once more, set about complaining and just full-on criticizing his older partner’s generosity.
“I found stitches in my sides this morning. How the fuck do you get off marring my skin like that, asshat?! You’re the worst! I hope Jashin won’t take pity on you, fucker. And what the HELL did you put in my fucking hair? It’s grainier than the desert! I feel like I got mauled by that little fuck, Gaara, in my sleep! You can’t do anything right…” And on and on it went; had he not left his scythe in his room, Kakuzu was totally convinced that Hidan would have cut him open and eaten his insides.
The worse he decided his insults and threats were, the louder he got. The minutes wore on, and yet Kakuzu was still trying hard to not pay any attention to his banally disagreeable partner, once more showing his animosity for the human race. At this point, the ex-falls nin wasn’t even sure Hidan would spare another Jashinist, let alone him. But his patience was wearing thin and finally he set his money away carefully before standing at his full height. Hopefully that would be enough to intimidate the Jashinist for his own good. If he wasn’t careful he’d be given a damn good reason to bitch constantly, day in and day out.
To be honest, Kakuzu hadn’t really paid enough attention, but he was sure that Hidan didn’t even know what set himself off anymore. He’d just be sitting there calmly while Kakuzu did something, actually being somewhat pleasurable to be around for once, and then he’d suddenly go on a tirade. What could a priest be thinking about that would warrant such behavior? Granted he was a Jashinist, which probably had something to do with it, if it wasn’t the only real reason.
With a sigh, Kakuzu leaned down, holding tight to Hidan’s arms. While the younger male quieted down, he didn’t quite stop, believing that he could get what he wanted if he just kept going. However, he stopped dead at Kakuzu’s next action. Something of a tender kiss was placed on his temple, and, no matter how flippants it seemed, he managed a gruff threat in the other’s right ear.
“If I hear one more word out of your mouth before I eat dinner, I’ll give you something serious to complain about.” Leaving a shaking Hidan to stand dumbly in the doorway, Kakuzu stepped back to his cash, counting calmly, as if he’d just pointed out how nice of a day it was. In all honesty, the white-haired man wasn’t sure whether he wanted to talk a lot or not at all; Kakuzu couldn’t do too much to him that he’d really hate…but what could he possibly have in mind? He vaguely wondered if he really could talk, just be unable to complain.
Crawling onto the bed beside his lover, then up behind him, he loosely wrapped his arms about his neck and purred.
“Mmm..you know I love it when you threaten me.”
With those words, Hidan’s fate was sealed.
“I know.” Kakuzu gave a faint smile and snaked his tongue out to lick at the other man’s arm.
“Am I in trouble?” A soft, tame giggle wormed its way out of his throat.
“No.” The answer was simple and nothing but a lie, but Hidan didn’t really seem to notice. Laying down behind Kakuzu, Hidan made himself comfortable on his partner’s bed. Neither male seemed to know when it happened, exactly, but sometime during their companionable silence, Hidan had managed to fall asleep. Once he had the cover of night on his side, Kakuzu left the room, and then the base in its entirety. He had to find something soon, and tonight.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
AN: Alright, guys. I hope this is okay…it’s an interesting idea, I think, and I can honestly see it happening. No hating or flaming just because you don’t like the fact that something unreal could be happening; you don’t know how this happens, yet.
Author: Piratedolliebaby
Rating: M
Category: Horror/Humor
Fandom: Naruto
Pairing(s): Kakuhida, Tobidei, PeinKona, KisaIta
Chapters: 1/?
Summary: “If I hear one more word out of your mouth before I eat dinner, I’ll give you something serious to complain about.” (Lemon, yaoi, Mpreg, gore, romance…if you could call it romance…and much revenge.)
AN: Okay, this story sprouted while I was on the phone with my friend Lizzie. We’re total Narutards, and I have several reasons to believe that Hidan could successfully pull off a pregnancy. So stuff it, for those of you who don’t know what I’m gonna do. It’ll be funny and interesting, let me tell you, and most of all, it will have a little smut. In fact, this first chapter has smut. So…anyone who is uncomfy with that, just skip it and go on to the next one. Or skim through and find what you can deal with, because there will be some parts crucial to the plot in this chapter. I hope to make it a few pages long, rather than two or three. Even six would be lovely, but I’ll see what I can do. Anyway, without further adieu, here we go!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chapter One: Engage
Never in his life had Kakuzu been so verbally abused. It seemed that every single curse word or insult that popped into his partner’s brain would rush right out to greet him. After the first fifteen minutes, Kakuzu had admittedly become a little irked; but this was reaching into its second hour, and the stitched-nin was half-tempted to remove Hidan’s head and throw it in the trash. Not that he was totally sure that would help; Hidan would still find a way to bitch at him. A sigh left his lips and he rolled his absent green eyes.
“Are you done?” He rumbled after another fifteen minutes of ranting, eyes narrowing. If there was any one way to stop a Hidan-style bitchfit, Kakuzu was a master of it. When all he was answered with was a more ardent string of bad words and threats, he surged forward and crushed his lips into Hidan’s. The albino fought it hazily, but when those massive, strong hands closed around his upper arms, he gave up the goat. The kiss was rough and full of teeth doing just what Hidan loved. Biting everything from lips to tongues to other teeth, he found his hands running along the taller man’s stitched arms, fingers pushing under the threads best they could.
Other than the fact it was more gory flesh to touch, Kakuzu was at a loss to explain why Hidan liked feeling bare muscles and veins. The smaller body pulled at the threads, all the while pushing at the larger man until he felt something against the back of his leg. Kakuzu tumbled over onto his back, feeling chilly hands splay on his stomach. If there was one thing he had learned about Hidan, it was that he always had cold hands and feet, and that he never could resist his more primal urges when they were brought up. It had been his plan all along to get Hidan to stop complaining about everything, and the only two ways he could think of were to get him something to slaughter and sacrifice to Jashin, or to get him entangled in a sensual paradise. He often opted for the second one, because he usually didn’t get anything out of the first.
Clothes were removed before a hard bite to his lip brought Kakuzu back to reality, and he blinked a bit, looking cross-eyed at the purple-eyed devil attached to him. Tugging hard, it appeared Hidan’s goal was to rip the poor thing right off of Kakuzu’s face. With a growl, the larger man shoved his partner over, onto the bed on his side before practically climbing over him and pushing him over further, straddling his slim, pale hips. With a wide smile, the Jashinist ground his hips forward and upward, releasing a guttural growl into their grunts and grumbles.
Both men twisted and conformed to each other, their bodies becoming one quicker than Hidan had hoped. He liked a bit more foreplay, but he certainly didn’t mind the sudden fullness, a groan in his throat. Eyes fluttering, the small priest gazed up into those backward-colored eyes with his own glazed. Between the two of them, this was all they’d really do together. At least, that they’d both participate in, save for bloody rituals that usually resulted in sex.
As it stood, Kakuzu simply flooded into Hidan, leaving the younger male nothing more than a limp puddle of moans and blood. He always loved this kind of squabbling; when things between them got too heated, it usually ended this way, so that they both got joy out of every complaint. His nails dug into Kakuzu’s back, and his legs suddenly jumped around his hips, hooking there. After only a little while, Kakuzu found his release, moments before leaving Hidan’s body. Of course, the Jashinist certainly wasn’t happy anymore.
As soon as Kakuzu left him laying there, the ex-priest growled and sat up, nearly spitting fire.
“Why the fuck did you stop, you boner-biting prick?” He nearly yowled, looking down at himself with disgust. Kakuzu could be such a moron sometimes. It was at this time the albino eyed his scythe, standing up near the door. Kakuzu simply rolled his eyes.
“You’re usually right behind me.” He pointed out, retreating to a desk and digging for something. “If you’re gonna be that pissed about it, get on all fours.” As he spoke, he pulled out a sharply pronged whip. Hidan was sure to finish soon.
Once he saw the device, the smaller man rolled over onto his hands and knees almost too fast. It was obvious that Hidan liked this part, especially when the thick leather left a blood-filled lick to his rear, a large gash being left behind while a loud cry of joy left his lips. With each motion, more and more blood was spilled onto the cheap sheets of Kakuzu’s bed. The harder and more lethal the hit, the more joy Hidan got out of it. Three of the hook-like barbs caught onto his side near his ribs and clung to him, tearing down his body with no more reactions than that of a suddenly-weak Hidan dropping to the bed with pleasure-filled moans. Finally, the shorter male was done.
Once he had put everything away, Kakuzu watched as his partner’s breathing slowed and his brain turned off. It was now that he noticed just how much blood Hidan had lost. With a sigh, he hefted up the body laying limp on the bed and somehow managed to tug some pants up. His next stop was the shower; a large room with several showers inside it. One per member, but they were big enough to fit two. Lugging Hidan’s form into the first stall he came to, he started up the water.
It wasn’t often that he took the time to do this for his “lover”, but on occasion he didn’t want Hidan to wake up complaining. After cleaning up his body well and figuring spots that would heal into scars, he set about grabbing shampoo and washing his hair. He hissed slightly at the condition of the other’s left ear; it looked like a dog had gotten to it or something.
Once he was done in the shower, he dried them both off and went right back to the room they’d been busy in. He cleared a space on the desk and set Hidan down carefully, before cleaning up his bed. Once everything was taken care of, Hidan and his things were moved into his own room. If all of this work didn’t appease his partner, all Hell would break loose.
~~+~~
The next day was actually fairly quiet, that is, until Hidan woke up around two o’clock. The first word out of his mouth was none-other-than “fuck”, and shortly after he was almost yelling. Charging into Kakuzu’s room, he made his first mistake of the day; barging in on and interrupting Kakuzu’s money-counting. The zombie-like man sighed exasperatedly as Hidan, once more, set about complaining and just full-on criticizing his older partner’s generosity.
“I found stitches in my sides this morning. How the fuck do you get off marring my skin like that, asshat?! You’re the worst! I hope Jashin won’t take pity on you, fucker. And what the HELL did you put in my fucking hair? It’s grainier than the desert! I feel like I got mauled by that little fuck, Gaara, in my sleep! You can’t do anything right…” And on and on it went; had he not left his scythe in his room, Kakuzu was totally convinced that Hidan would have cut him open and eaten his insides.
The worse he decided his insults and threats were, the louder he got. The minutes wore on, and yet Kakuzu was still trying hard to not pay any attention to his banally disagreeable partner, once more showing his animosity for the human race. At this point, the ex-falls nin wasn’t even sure Hidan would spare another Jashinist, let alone him. But his patience was wearing thin and finally he set his money away carefully before standing at his full height. Hopefully that would be enough to intimidate the Jashinist for his own good. If he wasn’t careful he’d be given a damn good reason to bitch constantly, day in and day out.
To be honest, Kakuzu hadn’t really paid enough attention, but he was sure that Hidan didn’t even know what set himself off anymore. He’d just be sitting there calmly while Kakuzu did something, actually being somewhat pleasurable to be around for once, and then he’d suddenly go on a tirade. What could a priest be thinking about that would warrant such behavior? Granted he was a Jashinist, which probably had something to do with it, if it wasn’t the only real reason.
With a sigh, Kakuzu leaned down, holding tight to Hidan’s arms. While the younger male quieted down, he didn’t quite stop, believing that he could get what he wanted if he just kept going. However, he stopped dead at Kakuzu’s next action. Something of a tender kiss was placed on his temple, and, no matter how flippants it seemed, he managed a gruff threat in the other’s right ear.
“If I hear one more word out of your mouth before I eat dinner, I’ll give you something serious to complain about.” Leaving a shaking Hidan to stand dumbly in the doorway, Kakuzu stepped back to his cash, counting calmly, as if he’d just pointed out how nice of a day it was. In all honesty, the white-haired man wasn’t sure whether he wanted to talk a lot or not at all; Kakuzu couldn’t do too much to him that he’d really hate…but what could he possibly have in mind? He vaguely wondered if he really could talk, just be unable to complain.
Crawling onto the bed beside his lover, then up behind him, he loosely wrapped his arms about his neck and purred.
“Mmm..you know I love it when you threaten me.”
With those words, Hidan’s fate was sealed.
“I know.” Kakuzu gave a faint smile and snaked his tongue out to lick at the other man’s arm.
“Am I in trouble?” A soft, tame giggle wormed its way out of his throat.
“No.” The answer was simple and nothing but a lie, but Hidan didn’t really seem to notice. Laying down behind Kakuzu, Hidan made himself comfortable on his partner’s bed. Neither male seemed to know when it happened, exactly, but sometime during their companionable silence, Hidan had managed to fall asleep. Once he had the cover of night on his side, Kakuzu left the room, and then the base in its entirety. He had to find something soon, and tonight.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
AN: Alright, guys. I hope this is okay…it’s an interesting idea, I think, and I can honestly see it happening. No hating or flaming just because you don’t like the fact that something unreal could be happening; you don’t know how this happens, yet.