(no subject)
Today I walked with Will. I tried to match him pace for pace. He didn't have to slow down much for me, but he clearly wasn't taking long strides. I felt like I was taking Paul Bunyan strides, and I used my walking stick for balance a LOT. I think I need to work on hip flexibility and rolling from heel to toe. I was very tired when I got home. I didn't do my 20-minute workout yesterday like I was supposed to, so I did it today. Oof.
When I was talking with Will recently, he pointed out that some people find a critical tone of voice that I use very annoying. I know I got it from my mom (I don't wish being raised by an Objectivist on *anyone*). I noticed and remembered that often when I talk to myself, I'm giving myself a hard time ("Kennita, stop that!", "You idiot!", "What are you *doing*?!", "Shut up!", and so on -- some of you have heard it; I've had to tell some of you "Not you" when you caught me yelling at myself. It's a bad habit, and one that I will be working on breaking for a while. Desiderata says "Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.". I need to recalibrate what "wholesome discipline" is, and need to avoid the spiral of giving myself a hard time for giving myself a hard time. Maybe I'd do better to forget the "wholesome discipline" for a while, and concentrate on the "gentle" part -- with other people as well as myself.
Tonight I watched Star Wars: Episode 1 (I think Jar Jar is funny, so *there*! -- and Anakin is painfully cute) with Will, and an episode of Remington Steele (Pierce Brosnan, yummy!) with Will and Christine. The rest of the night has been spent reading email, surfing, and LJ'ing -- as though I have nothing else to do, sigh. I think it's time to gently put myself to bed.
When I was talking with Will recently, he pointed out that some people find a critical tone of voice that I use very annoying. I know I got it from my mom (I don't wish being raised by an Objectivist on *anyone*). I noticed and remembered that often when I talk to myself, I'm giving myself a hard time ("Kennita, stop that!", "You idiot!", "What are you *doing*?!", "Shut up!", and so on -- some of you have heard it; I've had to tell some of you "Not you" when you caught me yelling at myself. It's a bad habit, and one that I will be working on breaking for a while. Desiderata says "Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.". I need to recalibrate what "wholesome discipline" is, and need to avoid the spiral of giving myself a hard time for giving myself a hard time. Maybe I'd do better to forget the "wholesome discipline" for a while, and concentrate on the "gentle" part -- with other people as well as myself.
Tonight I watched Star Wars: Episode 1 (I think Jar Jar is funny, so *there*! -- and Anakin is painfully cute) with Will, and an episode of Remington Steele (Pierce Brosnan, yummy!) with Will and Christine. The rest of the night has been spent reading email, surfing, and LJ'ing -- as though I have nothing else to do, sigh. I think it's time to gently put myself to bed.