Fault Lines (18/36)
Fault Lines
Chapter 18/36
Authors: Faith kennedysbitch & Kye kye9
Pairing: Callie/Arizona, Mark/Lexie
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer
Beta’d by roughian
Story Summary: Sequel to Choices. Callie and Arizona make the decision to move forward with their lives, but when a gradual series of events begin to snowball, Arizona tries desperately not to lose her grip on reality.
Chapter Summary: It’s been two days and Callie’s through waiting for Arizona to come home.
Previous Chapters
A/N: My apologies for yet another long-ish wait. This chapter is challenging the LJ word limit, though, and I’m pretty sure it’s the scene you’ve all been waiting for, so hopefully it’s worth it. Enjoy!
Beta’d by the lovely roughian, who took time out of her busy, narcoleptic schedule to help me with this. <3 Thank yooouu.
---
After a full twenty-four hours without Arizona around, Callie didn’t know what to do with herself.
The three day weekend she’d taken to spend time with her girlfriend was now a huge reminder that she was currently alone, knocked up, and miserable because of it.
She didn’t want to be alone in their apartment right now, so she went to the hospital around lunch time on the second full day Arizona was gone. There were no surgeries to keep her occupied so she decided to check in on the blonde’s parents and see if they needed anything.
Or if they’d seen their daughter recently.
Pausing in front of the sliding glass door to the Colonel’s ICU room, Callie watched Arizona’s mother sitting diligently by his bedside. She held his hand and watched over him as he slept, looking worn out but holding strong.
When Callie slid the door open and silently stepped inside, Maria Robbins looked up and nodded in acknowledgment. “Calliope,” she called over in quiet greeting. “Please, come in.”
Holding up a tray of coffee and a bag of muffins, Callie walked over to the older woman and set them down on a small side table. “It’s not much, but I thought you could maybe use some caffeine.”
If the Robbins women were all alike, Mrs. Robbins would no doubt be craving a cup by now.
“Thank you, dear,” Maria replied, flashing the brunette a grateful smile.
“How’s he doing?” Callie asked, glancing over at the sleeping Colonel. She immediately felt like it was a stupid question.
Not good. Not good at all.
“He’s had better days,” Maria admitted, taking one of the warm paper cups from the coffee tray and cradling it between her hands. “The nurses gave him some more medication and it’s helping him sleep.”
Out of habit, Callie picked up his chart and quickly flipped through it. His blood pressure was dangerously low and his body was slowly beginning to give out. Even as an orthopedic surgeon she could see that.
Damn it. Her throat tightened as she thought about how much harder things were going to get for her girlfriend in the coming weeks. By proxy, that meant things between them weren’t about to get any better, either.
“Has Arizona been by at all?” she asked tentatively, sneaking a quick glance at Maria while avoiding direct eye contact.
“She came by yesterday morning,” the older woman replied, stroking her thumb across the back of her husband’s hand. “She sat with Daniel for a bit. He said she was fairly upset.”
She glanced over at Callie. “Can I ask you how she’s doing? Something really seemed to be bothering her and she doesn’t say much to us these days.”
“Join the club,” Callie mumbled, setting Daniel’s chart down and crossing her arms with a heavy sigh. “She doesn’t say much to me, either.” Pausing, she looked down. “She, um...she left yesterday morning, actually. Spent the night in a hotel, said she needed some time alone.”
The surgeon tried to hide how much that bothered her, but the older blonde was rather perceptive.
“She what?” Maria sat up straight in her chair, fierce brown eyes staying glued to Callie.
It made her shift from one foot to the other. Arizona’s mom was kind of intense.
But Maria was weary from the stress of her husband’s situation, and pretty soon her shoulders sagged in defeat. “Oh, Zona,” she murmured under her breath, closing her eyes and shaking her head. “I’m worried about her, Callie. When Aaron died, she...”
Callie held her breath. Arizona had only talked about her brother’s death once in all the time they’d been together. She knew it had been extremely hard on her but she didn’t know any specifics. She had a feeling that was only adding to the stress of possibly losing her father.
Maria looked up at Callie again. “She was extremely close to him. When he died, it was right around Christmas and she...well, she stuck around for the funeral, then disappeared for about a month without telling us.”
Callie froze, brown eyes widening in surprise. “She what?”
If Arizona was planning on disappearing into thin air, Callie would lose it.
“She sent a few e-mails letting us know she was okay,” Maria continued absently, “but it was really hard not knowing where she was. She was in a lot of pain and I think she just wanted to get away. Arizona doesn’t handle loss well, and seeing her father like this-”
She trailed off upon seeing the stricken look on Callie’s face. “Oh, honey, I don’t think she’d do that again,” she hurried on, beckoning Callie to come over and take the seat next to her. “She has you and our grandchild to worry about.”
“But she left,” Callie pointed out, voice cracking as she sank into the chair. She cast her eyes down into her lap and rung her hands together, trying not to show how devastated she was by it.
“Arizona is built just like her father,” Maria explained carefully, glancing over at his sleeping form. “They don’t like to show it when something is bothering them; they bottle it up inside and drive themselves crazy. It’s taken me years to try and beat it out of Daniel, but he still feels the need to be the strong one all the time. Zona is exactly like him in that way.”
“I don’t understand why she won’t just talk to me,” Callie said, exasperated, staring hard at the Colonel’s sleeping form. She agreed that Arizona was just like her dad - in more ways than one.
She was strong like him, even if she didn’t believe it herself these days.
“I can tell something else is bothering her and if she would just give me a chance, I could help her,” Callie added, frustration evident in her voice. “But all she does is pretend like she’s okay when clearly she’s not.”
Maria felt a pang of sympathy for the other woman. “To people like Arizona and her father, asking for help is a sign of weakness. I’ve seen the way she looks at you, Callie. She loves you too much to burden you with her feelings right now.”
Callie released an aggravated growl, rubbing her forehead. “I’m gonna throttle her, I swear.”
She just didn’t get Arizona sometimes. Were they not in this together for the long haul? They were having a baby, for God’s sake. ‘Forever’ was pretty much implied in there somewhere.
She was not about to spend her life with someone that wouldn’t give her the time of day to sit down and communicate like an adult. That’s not how relationships worked.
Callie would kick Arizona’s ass until she talked, every day if she had to. She wasn’t about to walk away from the love of her life and let her self-destruct right before her very eyes. That wasn’t an option.
Maria watched the storm brewing in Callie’s darkening expression. “Welcome to my world,” she chuckled, affectionately patting Daniel’s hand. “Don’t let her get away with it, Calliope. The stubborn Robbins gene is no match for the guiding hand of a strong woman. There’s no doubt in my mind that you can strong arm her into coming home.”
Callie had to smile at that. She was pretty sure she could, too. The ‘Robbins gene’ might be stubborn and sometimes frustrating as hell to deal with, but it was no match for the fierceness that a member of the Torres clan could unleash when called upon.
One way or another, Callie was going to get through to Arizona. Even if it nearly killed them both.
***
A large assortment of papers lay spread out across the king-sized bed in front of her. Among those papers, Arizona sat cross-legged with her nose buried in a file, forehead scrunched in deep concentration and reading glasses perched on the tip of her nose.
Yet no matter how many times she scanned through the first paragraph, nothing got retained. After half an hour of trying, she set the folder down and heaved out a sigh of frustration.
This wasn’t working.
Her lawyer had delivered an enormous file folder of legal documents and details about the lawsuit to date. She’d been successfully granted a temporary stay in the proceedings, due to ‘exceeding circumstances’ or something like that. Arizona didn’t know what it was called or what the specific details were, she only knew that it gave her more time to sift through the crap Carmen was slinging her way.
Apparently the nurse had transferred to Oncology for the time being, which meant they wouldn’t be seeing any of each other at work. Arizona had already been avoiding her to the best of her ability for weeks; at least now it would be a little easier.
No matter how long she sat on that bed and tried to concentrate on the information in front of her, Arizona’s mind kept being invaded by images of Callie’s desperate, heartfelt pleas as she left the apartment that night. Her stomach twisted in knots and she shook her head in disgust.
Who would do something like that? Who would leave their pregnant lover behind and go and bury their head in the sand?
She’d never been one to give up before, never. And yet an overwhelming feeling of defeat had consumed her that night, leaving her the emotional equivalent of a tree stump. She wanted to slink away into the darkness and drown while no one else was watching.
But she had no right to. Not when her partner and love of her life was left behind to clean up the mess.
Fuck, she was an idiot.
Arizona looked at her phone on the bedside table, itching to reach over and grab it. She should call Callie, talk to her and tell her what was going on. At least say she was sorry.
Maybe offer to let the brunette deck her in the face once or twice. Lord knows she deserved it.
The emotional release of speaking - sobbing, really - to her father had taken some of the unbearable weight off of her shoulders. Some, but not all. Arizona knew the remaining pressure wouldn’t resolve itself until she fixed things with Callie.
But how was she supposed to tell her that she was about to lose her job, the one means of support she had? It didn’t matter that Callie had a trust fund; as far as Arizona was concerned it didn’t exist when it came to the two of them. She was a responsible, working adult that wanted to provide a life for her family.
Instead she was being accused of sexually harassing a co-worker, the same co-worker that had almost ruined her relationship with the brunette in the first place. Maybe if the accusations were completely unfounded it wouldn’t have been so hard to deal with, but whether she wanted to admit it or not, she had made a disgusting bet - with Mark Sloan, of all people. It didn’t matter that it had been a simple, friendly challenge to get Carmen’s phone number at the time; what it had turned into was a disaster for everyone involved.
Exhaling loudly, Arizona resigned herself to the fact that she wasn’t about to get any work done. She stacked the papers together and shoved them into the folder before dropping it on the side table, leaving it to be dealt with at a later time.
She shifted back on the bed, leaning against the headboard. All she could think about was her dad’s attempts at reassuring her that everything would be okay. And she wanted to believe him, she really did.
Except that’s what fathers were supposed to say. While the Colonel had never been one to sugarcoat things when she and Aaron were young, she knew he was putting on a brave face for both her and her mother.
No matter what authority issues she had that stemmed from his stern hand growing up, she’d always had a close relationship with her dad. He was like a rock throughout their constant moving around; he was the only reason she never complained about it.
Arizona was proud of her father and she had been proud of her brother. They were brave men that put their lives on the line for others day in and day out. No matter what ignorant comments people made about the military and those who served in it, Arizona would defend them tooth-and-nail to the very end. Callie’s attitude angered her early on when George had enlisted, but it was something they had gotten over a long time ago. Callie came to respect the idea now that she knew what Arizona’s upbringing had been like.
She didn’t envision the brunette allowing their future babies to enlist, but at least she had gained a new respect on the subject.
Arizona closed her eyes and pulled in a deep breath through her nose, trying to quell the sudden tightness in her chest. Between thoughts of Aaron, her dad and her girlfriend, she was starting to feel like a hot mess all over again.
Aaron was dead. Her dad was dying. She’d selfishly left Callie in a state of confusion because she couldn’t bring herself to be honest with her.
She’d once called herself a ‘good man in a storm’.
What a fucking joke.
Sniffling loudly, Arizona wiped away a stray tear that slipped loose and rolled silently down her right cheek.
Above all of the emotional crap she was sifting through, she missed Callie. She missed her so much it hurt.
Just as she was debating breaking open the over-priced mini bar, a knock at the door startled her from her dark, broody thoughts. Arizona frowned, unfolding her legs from beneath her and slinging them over the side of the bed.
No one except her lawyer knew she was here and she hadn’t ordered room service lately. Maybe Barbara was dropping off some more information about the case.
Arizona debated ignoring whoever it was, but the soft knocking continued and she eventually forced herself to get up. She felt slow and sluggish, as though she’d already cracked open the mini bar and drank half its contents. Her brain was still stuck in that god-awful fog that was making it nearly impossible to concentrate on anything these days.
Padding barefoot across the floor, Arizona swiped her fingers back through her hair and reached out to yank open the door.
She froze.
Callie stood motionless on the other side, arms juggling about eight or nine shopping bags stuffed full of baby clothes and various other accessories.
“I didn’t want to pick something out and have you hate it,” she stated evenly, shrugging both arms and indicating the stash she’d brought with her.
Arizona stood in the doorway for a second, dumbfounded.
“So,” Callie added after a moment of silence, “can I come in?”
Shaking her head out of its surprised state, Arizona stiffly shuffled to the side, watching Callie with wide, wary eyes. “Y-yeah, of course.”
The brunette immediately stepped over the threshold before the other woman could change her mind.
Arizona closed the door behind her with a soft click, turning to face her girlfriend. “Callie-”
“No,” Callie interrupted, dumping the baby items onto a nearby arm chair before rounding on Arizona, index finger pointed in her face. “You don’t get to talk. I get to talk; maybe even yell a little. You get to sit there and shut up while I do so. Got it?”
Arizona shrunk back. “O-okay,” she stuttered awkwardly, stuffing both hands into her back pockets.
Callie furrowed her brow as she swept her eyes over Arizona’s ragged and weary form. “I know you’re going through a hard time lately, but what the hell...?”
Arizona frowned and looked down at her grey wife-beater and shabby old jean shorts. She looked back up at Callie with even wider eyes.
“Whatever,” Callie sighed, waving it off with a quick motion of her hand. “I didn’t come here to talk about your most recent fashion insanity.”
Arizona opened up her mouth to speak but was abruptly cut off again.
“You left me.” Callie’s brown eyes were hard and unwavering, cutting straight through the vulnerable blue gaze standing straight across from her. “You left me, Arizona, with some bullshit excuse about needing time to yourself and without telling me why. But guess what?” She slowly advanced on the blonde.
Arizona swallowed back, fighting the urge to flee for her life.
“I’m your girlfriend,” Callie went on, stopping when she was about a foot and a half away. “And that means I’m entitled to know what you’re thinking about at all times. I’m not saying you aren’t allowed time to yourself, but it should be time we’re both aware of and both agree on. You don’t get to decide to walk out the front door and not come back.”
Despite Callie’s harsh tone, Arizona could see the hurt swimming in her eyes. Sighing, her shoulders slumped and she reached out to gently brush their hands together. “I’m sorry,” she whispered, taking a small step forward.
“You told me you would never leave me, like everyone else in my life has,” Callie snapped, flinching and pulling away. “You told me you weren’t like George, or Erica, or my parents. Do you remember that? You promised me.”
“I didn’t leave you, Calliope,” Arizona reasoned. “I-”
“You left me,” Callie repeated. “Plain and simple, in whatever way you want to look at it. You left me.”
Arizona’s bottom lip quivered and she looked away, pushing a hand back through her tangled curls again. “God, I am so sorry,” she whispered, voice crackling with the effort of holding back tears. “I didn’t mean to, I-I didn’t want to, I just...”
No matter how she looked at it, Callie was one-hundred-and-ten-percent right. Arizona had left when she’d promised to never be one of those people. She’d broken that promise in a moment of selfish weakness.
She really couldn’t hate herself more than she did right now.
Callie’s hard glare softened considerably. She could read Arizona like a book, and the physical and emotional toll of everything she’d been going through was suddenly there on the surface, fighting to break through.
Callie prayed for once the blonde would just let it.
“Look at me,” she urged, stepping forward and taking Arizona by the arms.
Arizona automatically flinched and tried to pull away, but Callie wouldn’t let her.
“Look at me,” Callie reiterated, tightening her grip and pulling her closer. She refused to look away, heart tightening in her chest as Arizona started to crack right before her very eyes.
“You’re stuck with me, do you get that? I am not leaving you, no matter how fucking hard you try to push me away.” Callie’s fierce brown eyes nailed Arizona to the spot.
“Sooner or later, I’m going to rip you from your little cocoon of self-despair with my bare fucking hands and make you talk to me!”
Arizona’s features started to crumble and she couldn’t even see straight anymore. Her head felt like it was spinning in circles and nothing made sense anymore, nothing at all.
“I am pregnant, I am emotional, and I am horny!” Callie snapped, cheeks flushing a bright red. “And you left me alone for two days without any idea if you were ever coming back! You left me, even if you didn’t mean it that way. I could survive the others in my life brushing me aside, Arizona, but I couldn’t survive it if you did, too.”
Arizona opened her mouth and tried to speak but no sounds came out. She closed her eyes and held back the hard sob that was threatening to break lose.
She’d fucked up. She’d fucked up big time and Callie had every right to yell, had every right to hate her. She didn’t have an excuse.
“I’m sorry,” Arizona whispered, so quiet and vulnerable that her girlfriend barely caught the soft whimper.
Callie could see that she was losing her, that Arizona was so very close to slipping away completely. So she did the only thing she could think of.
She kissed her.
She kissed her slowly yet fiercely, yanking Arizona’s body into her own and crushing their lips together as though their lives depended on it. For all she knew, Arizona’s did.
The blonde’s first reaction was to stiffen, automatically grasping the arms of Callie’s leather jacket. She was caught off guard, but as soon as the physical connection registered in her mind, she pushed back into it.
Callie was the only thing keeping her grounded. The touch of her lips and that familiar taste and scent were like the glue holding her together.
The moment she felt Arizona respond to the kiss, Callie sought out the other woman’s tongue. Two sets of hands twisted and pulled at the clothing between them, quickly depositing the brunette’s jacket and sweater to the floor.
Callie pushed a hand beneath Arizona’s tank top and splayed her fingers across her stomach, pushing her backward.
Arizona let out a soft grunt when her back collided solidly with the wall. The hand beneath her shirt moved higher, cupping one of her breasts.
Arizona instantly reached up to grasp the sides of Callie’s face, pulling her deeper into the kiss. Her knees weakened and she immediately felt her lover press her hard against the wall. Fingers swept up to tangle themselves around dark locks of hair, giving them a gentle tug forward.
Callie moaned at the sensation and gave the breast in her palm a firm squeeze. She dropped her hand moments later to gather the hem of Arizona’s top, pushing the material further up her stomach before suddenly dropping to her knees.
It took a moment for Arizona to register the change in position, her lips immediately missing the tingling sensation of Callie’s against them.
The brunette took her time where she was, kissing and swiping her tongue across Arizona’s flat stomach, letting each touch linger until she felt the body above her quivering with delight.
“Calliope,” Arizona murmured under her breath as Callie started to pop the buttons on her shorts. She dropped her head back against the wall and blinked heavily a few times, her breath now coming in short, ragged bursts.
Callie bit down against the side of Arizona’s navel as she fumbled to pull the jean shorts down her legs. They dropped to the floor around Arizona’s ankles and she immediately ran her fingers up the back of the blonde’s smooth thighs.
Arizona fought against the small whimper that formed in the back of her throat. She tightened her fingers in the other woman’s hair and gave it another tug.
Callie pulled back from her girlfriend’s stomach to inhale a much-needed breath. “Don’t get too comfortable up there,” she said through a smirk, taking in the hazy, somewhat euphoric look Arizona was wearing.
The blonde slowly opened her eyes and glanced down, finally managing a semblance of a smile. It was shaky, but it was there, and it was more than Callie had seen from her in days.
Pushing back to her feet, Callie took a small step away from Arizona, keeping their eyes locked. “I’m not the one that has some making up to do,” she added with a growing smirk, hands working open the buckle of her own belt.
Not long after, her jeans dropped to the floor and she stepped out of them.
For the first time in days, Arizona’s head was suddenly clear as day. A breathless smile crossed her face and she took a moment to gaze at the half-naked Goddess standing in front of her.
Who in their right mind could ever walk away from that?
Arizona bit her lower lip and pushed away from the wall, advancing on Callie as the brunette stepped back towards the bed. “I do have some making up to do, don’t I?”
She kept moving forward until Callie’s legs hit the mattress and she automatically sat down. Arizona slid one knee onto the sheets next to her girlfriend and placed a hand on her shoulder. “Lay back,” she instructed, quietly but firmly.
Callie took a moment to meet Arizona’s gaze, noticing some of that familiar spark shining back at her.
Good. It was about time she got the blonde’s attention.
Arizona helped Callie scoot further back on the bed before slowly climbing on top of her. Callie’s dark hair and olive complexion were in sexy contrast against the crisp white sheets beneath them. She licked her lips and leaned in, immediately attaching her lips to the side of her girlfriend’s neck.
Callie sucked in a sharp breath and both hands flew up to weave through the other woman’s golden tresses. “W-wait,” she groaned, reluctantly tugging Arizona’s head back. “More clothes first,” she whispered huskily, meeting those gorgeous blue eyes again. She dropped her hands down to tug at the hem of Arizona’s grey tank.
Arizona smirked and reached down to stop her. “Maybe I want you naked, first.”
Callie arched a slow brow. “You left me pregnant, alone and worried for two days. You take your shirt off. Now.”
Arizona relented without much of a fight, sitting back to straddle her girlfriend’s thighs. She reached down to pull the thin material over her head and grinned at her partner before dropping the article to the side in a teasing fashion. “Better?”
Dark eyes swept across newly exposed skin. Callie ran both hands along Arizona’s stomach again, loving how utterly soft and perfect she felt beneath her fingertips. “Almost better,” she finally answered.
She sat up beneath Arizona, adding “Help me with this,” while pulling at the sides of her maternity shirt. She was just barely showing, but it was comfy and still fit nicely.
Given that she hadn’t had sex in forever, Callie just knew that if the blonde didn’t help her out, she’d rip it in two herself.
Never needing to be asked twice - especially when it came to undressing the most beautiful woman in the world - Arizona expertly worked the silky material up and over her head.
Both eyes immediately dropped down and she smiled.
Callie chuckled. “Perv. Figures it takes my boobs to get you to listen to me.”
Arizona glanced up and flashed her a crooked grin. “Don’t get me wrong, you have gorgeous breasts, Calliope. But that’s not what I’m smiling at.”
Her right hand pressed against the smallest baby bump that was barely visible unless you were looking for it. They were over four months along now and physically seeing proof of the tiny life growing inside was enough to bring Arizona to tears.
Callie instantly had to fight off the urge to start bawling like a baby herself upon seeing the tell-tale shine to Arizona’s blue eyes. Stupid hormones.
She placed a hand over her girlfriend’s and spoke in a soft, quiet voice. “Happy?”
Arizona met her gaze, nodding in confirmation. “So happy,” she whispered, meaning it with every fiber of her being. “Don’t ever doubt that.”
Callie had, though, especially when Arizona up and left. Part of her had been terrified that she was about to become a single parent, even though deep down she knew Arizona would never abandon her like that.
“Good thing you came to your senses, huh?” Callie teased, hoping to move things away from the un-sexy crying they were both about to do. She wanted to keep the mood going because she wanted to re-connect with the love of her life, and she didn’t want any interruptions this time. For all she knew, the smallest thing could send Arizona running again.
Arizona laughed with an enthusiastic nod. “Yeah. I don’t know what I was so afraid of; kids aren’t so scary after all.” She couldn’t look away from where their joined hands rested. “Right now I can’t imagine a life where we’re not about to have a beautiful baby girl together.”
She lifted her eyes back up to meet Callie’s. “I know I’m screwed up, but I love you. So much it hurts sometimes.”
A weight felt as though it lifted from Callie’s shoulders.
They were both right where they wanted to be. They just had to fight like hell to stay there.
“Then let me make it better,” she murmured, pulling Arizona down into another kiss.
Together they fell back against the bed, any remaining articles of clothing disappearing over the side a short time later. Arizona wrestled her way on top, though through a frenzy of feverish kisses and groping hands, they rolled around numerous times, switching places.
Eventually Arizona ended up behind Callie, kissing down along the center of her back. Her girlfriend’s right hand reached behind and tangled itself in her hair.
Callie shivered when she felt the blonde’s warm tongue trail a wet path across her skin. She arched forward but a sharp muscle pain caused her to groan.
“Ow, honey, wait,” she called down.
Arizona froze and looked up.
“Sorry,” Callie laughed, blushing. “Body’s not exactly bending much these days.”
Arizona giggled under her breath as she kissed her way up Callie’s back again. She brushed the woman’s long, silky hair away from her shoulder and planted her lips firmly against her neck. “Getting old?” she mused, smiling into her ear.
“Uh, more like ‘over four months pregnant with your child’,” Callie pointed out, elbowing her in the gut.
“Oh, right.” Arizona grinned and leaned around to plant another firm, desirable kiss on her girlfriend’s lips, supporting her weight with her left arm against the mattress. “I’m sorry. I’ll be gentle.”
Callie growled under her breath. “Not too gentle, I hope.”
Arizona just smirked, eyes flickering down the nude body beneath her. “I’ll see what I can manage,” she promised, rolling Callie onto her back.
She immediately captured her lips in a deep, satisfying kiss, holding it just long enough to leave the brunette wanting more. She broke it off and wasted no time in kissing along her collarbone, trailing further south before coming to a stop along her stomach.
Arizona’s kisses went from hard and frantic to soft and caressing as they lingered over what she found to be the most beautiful part of her partner these days.
“You really are glowing, you know that?” Arizona glanced up as she pressed her lips to the smallest of baby bumps.
Callie smiled in return. “It happens,” she whispered, reaching down to place a hand on the back of Arizona’s head.
Closing her eyes, the blonde nuzzled against their unborn baby, taking a second to remind herself why she needed to keep fighting.
The moment that passed between them meant more to Callie than she ever thought possible. She knew exactly what Arizona was doing and wanted to give her all the time in the world to do it.
She didn’t have to wait long.
Arizona suddenly launched herself back up Callie’s body and crushed their lips together, taking her breath away with another searing kiss.
By the time she pulled back, the brunette was left stunned and with her head spinning. She barely noticed Arizona settling between her legs until two strong hands wrapped around her thighs and yanked her down.
Arizona left a trail of wet kisses along Callie’s inner thigh, taking her time in caressing the smooth skin beneath her lips. She inhaled deeply, the unmistakable scent of Callie’s arousal flooding her senses and making her groan with need.
“No wonder you came over for a late-night booty call,” Arizona teased.
“Mostly came to yell at you,” Callie purred, pawing at the top of Arizona’s head. “This is just an added bonus.”
A raspy chuckle rumbled up from the blonde’s chest and she decided to give in to the silent begging.
The moment that wicked, wicked tongue made contact, Callie’s eyes rolled back into her head and she arched up off the bed.
Arizona immediately pushed between slick folds, the unforgettable taste of her partner exploding over her tongue. She slowly massaged it along her entire length, dipping down to press at her entrance.
“Fuck,” Callie growled, digging her fingers into the back of Arizona’s scalp.
Maybe she should’ve felt a little more guilty about craving sex these last few months when Arizona was going through such a rough time, but God damn it, she was pregnant, horny and had a hot woman in her life.
She shouldn’t have to apologize for wanting it.
Arizona swept her tongue between her partner’s labia before sucking lightly on her clit, using just enough pressure to elicit a ripple of pleasure from the woman above her. She moved a hand up to part her lips a little more, tongue stroking against the sensitive bundle of nerves.
Callie bucked her hips at the sensation and tightened her grip in Arizona’s hair. A sharp gasp escaped her lips as she arched her back again, another deep shiver traveling through her entire body.
Arizona continued her assault on the other woman’s clit, alternating between soft strokes of her tongue and gentle sucking with her lips. The sheer amount of wetness that spilled from her partner to coat her chin only served to spur her on.
Blue eyes flickered up to watch the reaction as she swiped her tongue down the length of Callie’s pussy again. She uncurled her right hand from around a strong thigh and brushed the backs of her knuckles against her sex, silently asking for permission.
The harsh groan that erupted from Callie’s lips was music to her ears and all the permission she needed.
Arizona sunk two fingers deep into her girlfriend, immediately growling her approval at how hot and wet she was. It wouldn’t take much to push her over the edge at this point, she could tell.
Callie seemed to be thinking along the same lines. “Kiss me,” she begged, pulling upward.
With one last brief suck, followed by a light kiss to the sensitive bud, Arizona pushed herself up. The hand in her hair guided their lips back together in a rough, needy kiss.
Callie slipped her tongue out to taste herself on Arizona’s lips, holding her into the kiss and spreading her legs as the blonde’s fingers pumped ruthlessly inside.
Arizona rocked her hips forward, pushing into the back of her hand with a thigh. The heel of her palm pressed against Callie’s clit as the woman’s fingernails bit into the back of her neck.
Callie broke the kiss soon after, gasping for air as both eyes rolled back in her head.
Arizona moved down her neck again, seeking out and kissing a memorized sensitive spot just below her ear. She grazed her lips against it before uttering a quiet, “Calliope...”
It didn’t take much more than that warm, soft breath against her skin before every part of Callie seized up. Her right leg hooked over the blonde’s hip, holding her down as an arm flew around the back of her neck to pull her back into a desperate kiss. Every muscle in Callie’s body tensed up to an almost painful degree before releasing in the most delicious way.
Arizona kept her fingers pumping into her lover’s core, drawing out every last ounce of wetness she could find. Only when the quivering form beneath collapsed a short time later did she let up a little, and only when a clumsy hand pushed hers away did she pull out completely.
Heart pounding in her chest, Arizona brushed her lips against Callie’s ear once more. “Mm. You’re so sexy when you come like that, baby.”
How on earth she’d survived a full two days - weeks, even - without that was beyond her. There was nothing more satisfying than the feeling of Calliope Torres writhing with pleasure beneath her.
Callie was blissfully semi-conscious for a few minutes, during which time Arizona settled in against her side, burrowing comfortably into the crook of her neck.
“Humph,” was about the only coherent sound Callie was capable of making at that time. Arizona chuckled, the low rumble vibrating wonderfully against Callie’s skin as the blonde threw an arm around her waist.
This right here was what she’d been missing for weeks. This connection she knew they’d always had, yet somehow lost during Arizona’s personal trials.
Callie was so damn grateful just to feel it again. She turned her head and angled her neck down, just as Arizona tipped hers up to share in a gentle, loving kiss.
Arizona sighed into the contact, smiling lazily when Callie pulled away again. She was the picture of perfect contentment as she rested her cheek against the brunette’s shoulder, taking a moment to listen to her breathing and the rhythmic beat of her heart.
Callie licked her lips and regained enough composure to speak finally. “Now that I’ve had my orgasm,” she began, “I’m gonna kick your butt until you talk to me, Robbins.”
Blue eyes popped open at once and Arizona lifted her head warily. “Uh...”
“Don’t you ‘uh’ me,” Callie shot back as she pulled away just enough to look down at her girlfriend. “I’m mad as hell that you left, but I love you and refuse to keep watching you suffer alone. I know there’s more to this than I’m seeing, so I’m just gonna sit on you until you talk to me.”
Arizona swallowed back and looked uncertain. “I...”
Callie cocked an eyebrow. “Seriously, I’ll sit on you for the last five months of this pregnancy if I have to. I’ve got nothing but time.”
Despite her somewhat teasing tone, Callie was watching her partner like a hawk. She could see that all-too familiar storm settle back into blue eyes, the storm that washed away the happy twinkle she’d missed so much.
Silently, Arizona pushed herself into a sitting position, holding the sheet to her chest. She stared blankly at the opposite wall, the reality of everything forcing its way through the brief bubble she’d been encased in.
“I...I-I can’t,” she whispered, closing her eyes and fighting to keep her voice steady. “Calliope, you’re pregnant. You don’t need to be stressing over what’s going on in my head.”
It was a weak argument and she knew it.
“You’re a huge moron, you know that?” Callie said bluntly. “You leaving to go to a hotel and refusing to tell me why isn’t exactly a spa day for me, Arizona. Not to mention you’ve been absent for weeks. So my stress level? Already far and beyond what it should be.”
The peds surgeon sighed, pulling her knees up to her chest and wrapping both arms around them. “I don’t know what to tell you, Calliope,” she began, her voice barely above a whisper. “I’m - I’m a mess, all the time these days, a-and I can’t...”
Arizona squeezed her eyes shut, a heavy weight settling back inside her chest. Suddenly it was hard to breathe. “The last thing I want is for you to worry. All that matters to me is you and our baby staying healthy.”
Callie exhaled quietly and pushed herself up as well, scooting in behind Arizona. She placed a soothing hand against her back, immediately feeling the overwhelming amount of tension being carried around.
“And what good is it gonna do for us to stay healthy while you fall apart, hm?” She leaned in to press a light kiss against Arizona’s shoulder blade. “I love you for loving us so much, but it’s not gonna do anyone any good if you don’t take care of yourself. If you don’t let us take care of you.”
Arizona swallowed back the lump in her throat, fists bunching around the white bed sheets.
“I know you’re trying to protect us, sweetie, but we love you and want you to be happy and healthy, too,” Callie continued, shifting until she was pressed right up against the other woman’s back.
Arizona smiled faintly. She loved the way Callie used ‘we’ instead of just ‘I’. Thinking of their daughter was the only bright spot she had left on her horizon these days.
The smile didn’t last long, however, and Arizona still couldn’t bring herself to look at Callie directly. She felt ashamed and unworthy of someone like her, especially after breaking her promise.
“Arizona, please,” Callie begged through a soft whisper, and that was all it took.
Arizona’s bottom lip trembled dangerously as she pulled in a steadying breath.
“My dad is gonna die.”
The undiluted pain in that tiny little whisper shot straight through Callie’s heart.
Arizona didn’t realize she was crying until there were already tears streaming down her face. “I-I don’t...I don’t know how to exist in a world where he doesn’t, where Aaron doesn’t.”
“Baby,” Callie said quietly, rubbing a soothing hand across Arizona’s back.
“Half of my family is about to be gone. Extinct.” That realization was enough to knock the wind out of Arizona. She’d known it for a while now, yet saying it out loud made it even more true.
Half of her entire family was about to officially disappear off the face of the planet and there was nothing she could do about it.
Callie felt an instant, sharp pain in her chest. She’d known that losing her father was the key part in all of this, but hearing it said, hearing the utter helplessness in Arizona’s voice...
“Oh, honey,” Callie murmured, shifting to the side as she turned the blonde to face her. “Hey,” she called again, reaching up to place a delicate hand against her girlfriend’s cheek, steering her gaze back up.
“We don’t know that,” she said firmly, truly wanting to believe those words with every part of her being. “And your family, it isn’t about to get smaller.”
Callie dropped her hand down to take Arizona’s, intertwining their fingers and bringing them up to rest against the tiny swell of her stomach. “It’s about to grow.”
Arizona let out a soft breath and closed her eyes, more tears escaping. “God, you two are the only part of my life that makes sense right now,” she whispered hoarsely.
Callie managed to smile, though there were tears of her own shimmering behind gentle brown eyes.
“He might die, Callie.” Arizona swallowed back thickly, focusing on her partner again. “Sometimes I hate being a doctor and knowing things. Sometimes I just wish I was naïve and stupid, and could be spoon fed a bunch of crap about how miracles happen every day and actually believe it.”
Callie squeezed her fingers against the hand still resting over her belly. “If he does,” she began after a moment of silence, “if that happens...it would be horrible, and sad, and impossibly hard. But you’ll get through it. We’ll get through it - together. Not you sitting alone in a hotel wearing terrible shorts and drinking over-priced booze from the mini bar.”
Arizona let out a short bark of laughter, though it sounded raw and painful.
Callie shifted and pulled Arizona into her arms, guiding her head onto her shoulder. She stroked her fingers through the silky blonde curls that spilled across the woman’s back. “You’re named for a battleship, Arizona Robbins. You’re strong and you can get through anything, you hear me?”
At those words, Arizona closed her eyes and finally let go. A single, choking cry was the first to escape, but she couldn’t hold back the flood of emotion any longer. She fell apart into a wet, sobbing mess in Callie’s arms, collapsing into her lap as any resolve she had left melted away completely.
The brunette gathered Arizona in her lap, holding on for dear life as the blonde burrowed into the white sheets covering her legs.
It nearly broke Callie to see her this way, but she held it together and hunched over Arizona’s shaking form, nuzzling into her shoulder. One arm curled around the blonde’s torso and the other protectively around the back of her head. She whispered soft, comforting words while stroking her fingers through the unruly blonde curls she adored so much.
If this is what it took to make Arizona okay again, she’d gladly sit here all night if she had to.
Even if Arizona wanted to hold it together, it was a physical impossibility now. She didn’t have the energy left to fight it anymore, to try and pretend like she was okay.
She wasn’t. She was broken and lost and fucking terrified, and she didn’t know which way was up anymore.
So she clung to the invisible lifeline Callie threw in the water and held on for dear life.
It took a long time, but Callie eventually felt the shaking subside into smaller quivers. Arizona pushed herself up a little more and turned her face into Callie’s chest.
Callie circled both arms around her shoulders, hugging her closely and resting her chin on top of Arizona’s head.
At some point Arizona’s tear ducts ran dry and she was too emotionally drained to cry anymore. It had been a long, long time coming, and although she was somewhat embarrassed for having a mental breakdown in front of her partner, she was also unbelievably grateful that the other woman existed.
Arizona finally lifted her head from Callie’s chest, furrowing her brow as she sniffled back and absently wiped at the tears staining her girlfriend’s skin. “You’re all wet now.”
Callie broke out into a warm smile, gazing down adoringly. “That’s all your doing, my love.”
Arizona snorted and shook her head. “Now who’s the perv?”
Callie grinned cutely.
Arizona’s brief amusement didn’t last long, however, and soon she was looking pretty solemn again. She met those beautiful brown eyes and prepared herself for this next part. She was too tired to back out now.
“Callie?”
Callie kept a soft hand stroking Arizona’s back while the other moved down to curl around her side. “What is it, baby?”
Arizona swallowed hard and breathed in again. “There’s something else I have to tell you.”
Any trace of amusement soon vanished from Callie’s face. She studied her lover intently, gazing into those soulful blue eyes of hers. “I’m listening.”
Arizona hesitated and licked her lips. “It’s...i-it’s about Carmen.”
Furrowing her brow, Callie felt a small pang in the pit of her stomach.
She didn’t like where this was starting, much less where it was going.
“Okay,” she replied flatly, pausing the hand she had rubbing Arizona’s back but not pulling away. She stayed where she was, waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Arizona looked nervous, not to mentioned frightened. Despite Queen Hell Bitch being their new topic of discussion, Callie had no fleeting thoughts about the blonde cheating on her again. She trusted her and they were past that phase of their life now.
But just because it didn’t involve cheating, didn’t mean it was about to be a fun conversation for either of them.
“Did you knock her up, too?” Callie prodded tentatively when Arizona had yet to continue.
The blonde opened her mouth, let it hover that way for a few seconds, then abruptly shut it again.
“Crap,” she mumbled after a moment of pushing through her muddled thoughts. She sighed heavily and reached down to hold both of her girlfriend’s hands. “She’s...s-she filed a lawsuit again me. A sexual harassment lawsuit, for what happened earlier this year and some stuff she’s claiming I did after.”
Arizona nearly started shaking again as she waited for a response that didn’t come. “It’s not looking good so far, and I - I’m not...I’m so, so sorry,” she begged, not knowing what else to say.
Callie took a moment to digest this new bit of information, staying rooted to the spot.
A lawsuit. A sexual harassment lawsuit, no less. The kind that had the potential to end careers.
Shaking her head, Callie finally focused back on Arizona. “Why the hell are you sorry?” she demanded, maneuvering the hands within her own to give them a supportive squeeze. “You didn’t sexually harass anyone. She’s just pissed and trying to get back at you for choosing me. Fucking bitch.”
Arizona finally smiled a little, feeling an enormous weight suddenly lift from her shoulders at the sheer aggravation in Callie’s voice.
“There was never any choice. It’s always been you, Torres,” she said, lifting their hands and pressing her lips to the back of the other pair.
Callie cracked a crooked smile. “Right back at you, Robbins.”
Arizona shook her head and glanced down for a moment. “Derek’s on my side. He doesn’t seem to think it’ll go to court, but...” She hesitated. “It may get to a point where he has to let me go.”
Callie frowned.
“The timing couldn’t be worse, but I have money from selling my condo locked up in savings, so we’d be okay for a while. We just have to be careful about looking for a new house until everything gets sorted out.”
Arizona glanced up and watched Callie through sad eyes, her shoulders sagging in defeat. “I’m so sorry. I feel like I’ve...like I’ve failed you already, and we’ve barely even started our life together.”
Up until this point, Callie had still been processing, but those last few words made her snap to attention.
“Would you stop talking like that?” she shot back, shaking her head firmly. “You are not going to lose your job and you have nothing to be sorry for, except maybe for not telling me sooner. You didn’t do this, Arizona, okay? She did. So shut up and stop apologizing to me.”
Arizona barely managed a weak grin at Callie’s idle threats.
“I’m not exactly at a crap job myself,” the brunette added with a pointed smirk. “I know I’ll have to take some time off to have the baby, but it won’t matter because you’re not losing your job. Got it?”
Arizona nodded silently, though she wished she could be as confident as the other woman was.
Callie sighed as she gently rubbed her thumbs over the back of her partner’s hands. “We’ll get through this,” she whispered confidently. “We’ll get through anything as long as we’re together. I promise you.”
Arizona finally felt the remaining tension drain from her shoulders. She leaned across the short distance to press a loving kiss to her favourite set of lips. “You’re kind of awesome. Anyone ever tell you that?”
Callie smirked into the kiss, briefly nibbling on Arizona’s bottom lip. “A few girls,” she replied in a low, husky murmur. “But that was mostly during sex.”
“Huh-ho, so that’s how you’re gonna play it now, huh?” Arizona’s trademark cheeky grin was starting to resurface at long last. She stole a couple of more light, playful kisses, shifting and starting to push Callie back against the bed.
But the brunette had other plans. She snagged both of Arizona’s wrists and twisted them around, pushing forward until she had the pediatric surgeon pinned on her back.
With that signature Torres smirk of her own, Callie brought Arizona’s hands up above her head and pinned them down against the pillows. “No, I have a whole knew strategy planned out for seducing you, actually,” she mused, squeezing both hands to indicate the other woman was to keep hers right where they were. “Allow me to demonstrate.”
An actual giggle erupted from Arizona’s lips as Callie playfully nipped along the side of her jaw. “And here I thought you were gonna ground me for being in trouble.”
“Is that your way of begging for punishment? Kinky. I like it.”
“Yes, I’m now an official S&M sponsor, did I forget to tell you that?”
Callie’s eyes glazed over and she tried not to get too lost in that fantasy.
Arizona just chuckled and craned her neck up the short distance to steal another teasing kiss.
“I’m not gonna be mad at you for being truthful with me,” Callie added after a moment. “I’m a little peeved you waited all this time, but I can understand where you were coming from.”
“I’m sorry,” Arizona replied automatically, clamming up when her lover shot her an annoyed glare.
“I’d threaten to spank you every time you apologize to me, but something tells me you’d like that a little too much.”
Arizona turned bright red and giggled again. “You’re the one who’s gonna get me into trouble, Calliope. You’ve always got something naughty up your sleeve.” She tried to move her hands, only to have the brunette push them harder into the bed to reinforce her point.
Callie chewed on her bottom lip, her playfulness suddenly melting away to be replaced with something else entirely.
Guilt.
Arizona immediately ticked an eyebrow. “What did you do?”
Callie sucked in a big breath and produced the most radiant, hopefully-charming smile she could manage. “In the...spirit of sharing and being honest, I, uh. I-I think I should tell you that I may have, um...”
Arizona blinked up at her, waiting patiently.
“Maybe-kind-of-charged-about-four-hundred-dollars-worth-of-baby-accessories-to-your-Platinum-card,” Callie blurted out in a rush.
The blonde’s jaw fell open and she immediately jerked her head over to the huge stash of baby clothing sitting on the chair across the room. “How did you get my-”
“On your dresser,” Callie answered, gnawing on the inside of her cheek and doing her best to look totally innocent.
After a brief pause, Arizona laughed once, shaking her head in disbelief. “Okay, well, if I lose my job, we might have to take some of it back.”
“You are not gonna lose your job,” Callie shot back, grumbling down at the other woman.
“I might not have to - if you keep up your spending habits, we’ll be living in a garbage bin by Thanksgiving. Jeeze, woman.”
“Hey, you’re the one that left the crazy hormonal pregnant lady alone for two days. I can’t be held responsible for my actions.”
“So you’re saying that it’s my fault.”
“Pretty much.”
Arizona rolled her eyes and sighed in loving exasperation. “I guess you’re just gonna have to find a way to make it up to me, then.”
Callie flexed the hands she still had wrapped around Arizona’s wrists, making sure they were firmly planted above her head before leaning down to trace her tongue along Arizona’s collarbone.
“I think I can come up with something.”
---
Chapter 18/36
Authors: Faith kennedysbitch & Kye kye9
Pairing: Callie/Arizona, Mark/Lexie
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer
Beta’d by roughian
Story Summary: Sequel to Choices. Callie and Arizona make the decision to move forward with their lives, but when a gradual series of events begin to snowball, Arizona tries desperately not to lose her grip on reality.
Chapter Summary: It’s been two days and Callie’s through waiting for Arizona to come home.
Previous Chapters
A/N: My apologies for yet another long-ish wait. This chapter is challenging the LJ word limit, though, and I’m pretty sure it’s the scene you’ve all been waiting for, so hopefully it’s worth it. Enjoy!
Beta’d by the lovely roughian, who took time out of her busy, narcoleptic schedule to help me with this. <3 Thank yooouu.
---
After a full twenty-four hours without Arizona around, Callie didn’t know what to do with herself.
The three day weekend she’d taken to spend time with her girlfriend was now a huge reminder that she was currently alone, knocked up, and miserable because of it.
She didn’t want to be alone in their apartment right now, so she went to the hospital around lunch time on the second full day Arizona was gone. There were no surgeries to keep her occupied so she decided to check in on the blonde’s parents and see if they needed anything.
Or if they’d seen their daughter recently.
Pausing in front of the sliding glass door to the Colonel’s ICU room, Callie watched Arizona’s mother sitting diligently by his bedside. She held his hand and watched over him as he slept, looking worn out but holding strong.
When Callie slid the door open and silently stepped inside, Maria Robbins looked up and nodded in acknowledgment. “Calliope,” she called over in quiet greeting. “Please, come in.”
Holding up a tray of coffee and a bag of muffins, Callie walked over to the older woman and set them down on a small side table. “It’s not much, but I thought you could maybe use some caffeine.”
If the Robbins women were all alike, Mrs. Robbins would no doubt be craving a cup by now.
“Thank you, dear,” Maria replied, flashing the brunette a grateful smile.
“How’s he doing?” Callie asked, glancing over at the sleeping Colonel. She immediately felt like it was a stupid question.
Not good. Not good at all.
“He’s had better days,” Maria admitted, taking one of the warm paper cups from the coffee tray and cradling it between her hands. “The nurses gave him some more medication and it’s helping him sleep.”
Out of habit, Callie picked up his chart and quickly flipped through it. His blood pressure was dangerously low and his body was slowly beginning to give out. Even as an orthopedic surgeon she could see that.
Damn it. Her throat tightened as she thought about how much harder things were going to get for her girlfriend in the coming weeks. By proxy, that meant things between them weren’t about to get any better, either.
“Has Arizona been by at all?” she asked tentatively, sneaking a quick glance at Maria while avoiding direct eye contact.
“She came by yesterday morning,” the older woman replied, stroking her thumb across the back of her husband’s hand. “She sat with Daniel for a bit. He said she was fairly upset.”
She glanced over at Callie. “Can I ask you how she’s doing? Something really seemed to be bothering her and she doesn’t say much to us these days.”
“Join the club,” Callie mumbled, setting Daniel’s chart down and crossing her arms with a heavy sigh. “She doesn’t say much to me, either.” Pausing, she looked down. “She, um...she left yesterday morning, actually. Spent the night in a hotel, said she needed some time alone.”
The surgeon tried to hide how much that bothered her, but the older blonde was rather perceptive.
“She what?” Maria sat up straight in her chair, fierce brown eyes staying glued to Callie.
It made her shift from one foot to the other. Arizona’s mom was kind of intense.
But Maria was weary from the stress of her husband’s situation, and pretty soon her shoulders sagged in defeat. “Oh, Zona,” she murmured under her breath, closing her eyes and shaking her head. “I’m worried about her, Callie. When Aaron died, she...”
Callie held her breath. Arizona had only talked about her brother’s death once in all the time they’d been together. She knew it had been extremely hard on her but she didn’t know any specifics. She had a feeling that was only adding to the stress of possibly losing her father.
Maria looked up at Callie again. “She was extremely close to him. When he died, it was right around Christmas and she...well, she stuck around for the funeral, then disappeared for about a month without telling us.”
Callie froze, brown eyes widening in surprise. “She what?”
If Arizona was planning on disappearing into thin air, Callie would lose it.
“She sent a few e-mails letting us know she was okay,” Maria continued absently, “but it was really hard not knowing where she was. She was in a lot of pain and I think she just wanted to get away. Arizona doesn’t handle loss well, and seeing her father like this-”
She trailed off upon seeing the stricken look on Callie’s face. “Oh, honey, I don’t think she’d do that again,” she hurried on, beckoning Callie to come over and take the seat next to her. “She has you and our grandchild to worry about.”
“But she left,” Callie pointed out, voice cracking as she sank into the chair. She cast her eyes down into her lap and rung her hands together, trying not to show how devastated she was by it.
“Arizona is built just like her father,” Maria explained carefully, glancing over at his sleeping form. “They don’t like to show it when something is bothering them; they bottle it up inside and drive themselves crazy. It’s taken me years to try and beat it out of Daniel, but he still feels the need to be the strong one all the time. Zona is exactly like him in that way.”
“I don’t understand why she won’t just talk to me,” Callie said, exasperated, staring hard at the Colonel’s sleeping form. She agreed that Arizona was just like her dad - in more ways than one.
She was strong like him, even if she didn’t believe it herself these days.
“I can tell something else is bothering her and if she would just give me a chance, I could help her,” Callie added, frustration evident in her voice. “But all she does is pretend like she’s okay when clearly she’s not.”
Maria felt a pang of sympathy for the other woman. “To people like Arizona and her father, asking for help is a sign of weakness. I’ve seen the way she looks at you, Callie. She loves you too much to burden you with her feelings right now.”
Callie released an aggravated growl, rubbing her forehead. “I’m gonna throttle her, I swear.”
She just didn’t get Arizona sometimes. Were they not in this together for the long haul? They were having a baby, for God’s sake. ‘Forever’ was pretty much implied in there somewhere.
She was not about to spend her life with someone that wouldn’t give her the time of day to sit down and communicate like an adult. That’s not how relationships worked.
Callie would kick Arizona’s ass until she talked, every day if she had to. She wasn’t about to walk away from the love of her life and let her self-destruct right before her very eyes. That wasn’t an option.
Maria watched the storm brewing in Callie’s darkening expression. “Welcome to my world,” she chuckled, affectionately patting Daniel’s hand. “Don’t let her get away with it, Calliope. The stubborn Robbins gene is no match for the guiding hand of a strong woman. There’s no doubt in my mind that you can strong arm her into coming home.”
Callie had to smile at that. She was pretty sure she could, too. The ‘Robbins gene’ might be stubborn and sometimes frustrating as hell to deal with, but it was no match for the fierceness that a member of the Torres clan could unleash when called upon.
One way or another, Callie was going to get through to Arizona. Even if it nearly killed them both.
***
A large assortment of papers lay spread out across the king-sized bed in front of her. Among those papers, Arizona sat cross-legged with her nose buried in a file, forehead scrunched in deep concentration and reading glasses perched on the tip of her nose.
Yet no matter how many times she scanned through the first paragraph, nothing got retained. After half an hour of trying, she set the folder down and heaved out a sigh of frustration.
This wasn’t working.
Her lawyer had delivered an enormous file folder of legal documents and details about the lawsuit to date. She’d been successfully granted a temporary stay in the proceedings, due to ‘exceeding circumstances’ or something like that. Arizona didn’t know what it was called or what the specific details were, she only knew that it gave her more time to sift through the crap Carmen was slinging her way.
Apparently the nurse had transferred to Oncology for the time being, which meant they wouldn’t be seeing any of each other at work. Arizona had already been avoiding her to the best of her ability for weeks; at least now it would be a little easier.
No matter how long she sat on that bed and tried to concentrate on the information in front of her, Arizona’s mind kept being invaded by images of Callie’s desperate, heartfelt pleas as she left the apartment that night. Her stomach twisted in knots and she shook her head in disgust.
Who would do something like that? Who would leave their pregnant lover behind and go and bury their head in the sand?
She’d never been one to give up before, never. And yet an overwhelming feeling of defeat had consumed her that night, leaving her the emotional equivalent of a tree stump. She wanted to slink away into the darkness and drown while no one else was watching.
But she had no right to. Not when her partner and love of her life was left behind to clean up the mess.
Fuck, she was an idiot.
Arizona looked at her phone on the bedside table, itching to reach over and grab it. She should call Callie, talk to her and tell her what was going on. At least say she was sorry.
Maybe offer to let the brunette deck her in the face once or twice. Lord knows she deserved it.
The emotional release of speaking - sobbing, really - to her father had taken some of the unbearable weight off of her shoulders. Some, but not all. Arizona knew the remaining pressure wouldn’t resolve itself until she fixed things with Callie.
But how was she supposed to tell her that she was about to lose her job, the one means of support she had? It didn’t matter that Callie had a trust fund; as far as Arizona was concerned it didn’t exist when it came to the two of them. She was a responsible, working adult that wanted to provide a life for her family.
Instead she was being accused of sexually harassing a co-worker, the same co-worker that had almost ruined her relationship with the brunette in the first place. Maybe if the accusations were completely unfounded it wouldn’t have been so hard to deal with, but whether she wanted to admit it or not, she had made a disgusting bet - with Mark Sloan, of all people. It didn’t matter that it had been a simple, friendly challenge to get Carmen’s phone number at the time; what it had turned into was a disaster for everyone involved.
Exhaling loudly, Arizona resigned herself to the fact that she wasn’t about to get any work done. She stacked the papers together and shoved them into the folder before dropping it on the side table, leaving it to be dealt with at a later time.
She shifted back on the bed, leaning against the headboard. All she could think about was her dad’s attempts at reassuring her that everything would be okay. And she wanted to believe him, she really did.
Except that’s what fathers were supposed to say. While the Colonel had never been one to sugarcoat things when she and Aaron were young, she knew he was putting on a brave face for both her and her mother.
No matter what authority issues she had that stemmed from his stern hand growing up, she’d always had a close relationship with her dad. He was like a rock throughout their constant moving around; he was the only reason she never complained about it.
Arizona was proud of her father and she had been proud of her brother. They were brave men that put their lives on the line for others day in and day out. No matter what ignorant comments people made about the military and those who served in it, Arizona would defend them tooth-and-nail to the very end. Callie’s attitude angered her early on when George had enlisted, but it was something they had gotten over a long time ago. Callie came to respect the idea now that she knew what Arizona’s upbringing had been like.
She didn’t envision the brunette allowing their future babies to enlist, but at least she had gained a new respect on the subject.
Arizona closed her eyes and pulled in a deep breath through her nose, trying to quell the sudden tightness in her chest. Between thoughts of Aaron, her dad and her girlfriend, she was starting to feel like a hot mess all over again.
Aaron was dead. Her dad was dying. She’d selfishly left Callie in a state of confusion because she couldn’t bring herself to be honest with her.
She’d once called herself a ‘good man in a storm’.
What a fucking joke.
Sniffling loudly, Arizona wiped away a stray tear that slipped loose and rolled silently down her right cheek.
Above all of the emotional crap she was sifting through, she missed Callie. She missed her so much it hurt.
Just as she was debating breaking open the over-priced mini bar, a knock at the door startled her from her dark, broody thoughts. Arizona frowned, unfolding her legs from beneath her and slinging them over the side of the bed.
No one except her lawyer knew she was here and she hadn’t ordered room service lately. Maybe Barbara was dropping off some more information about the case.
Arizona debated ignoring whoever it was, but the soft knocking continued and she eventually forced herself to get up. She felt slow and sluggish, as though she’d already cracked open the mini bar and drank half its contents. Her brain was still stuck in that god-awful fog that was making it nearly impossible to concentrate on anything these days.
Padding barefoot across the floor, Arizona swiped her fingers back through her hair and reached out to yank open the door.
She froze.
Callie stood motionless on the other side, arms juggling about eight or nine shopping bags stuffed full of baby clothes and various other accessories.
“I didn’t want to pick something out and have you hate it,” she stated evenly, shrugging both arms and indicating the stash she’d brought with her.
Arizona stood in the doorway for a second, dumbfounded.
“So,” Callie added after a moment of silence, “can I come in?”
Shaking her head out of its surprised state, Arizona stiffly shuffled to the side, watching Callie with wide, wary eyes. “Y-yeah, of course.”
The brunette immediately stepped over the threshold before the other woman could change her mind.
Arizona closed the door behind her with a soft click, turning to face her girlfriend. “Callie-”
“No,” Callie interrupted, dumping the baby items onto a nearby arm chair before rounding on Arizona, index finger pointed in her face. “You don’t get to talk. I get to talk; maybe even yell a little. You get to sit there and shut up while I do so. Got it?”
Arizona shrunk back. “O-okay,” she stuttered awkwardly, stuffing both hands into her back pockets.
Callie furrowed her brow as she swept her eyes over Arizona’s ragged and weary form. “I know you’re going through a hard time lately, but what the hell...?”
Arizona frowned and looked down at her grey wife-beater and shabby old jean shorts. She looked back up at Callie with even wider eyes.
“Whatever,” Callie sighed, waving it off with a quick motion of her hand. “I didn’t come here to talk about your most recent fashion insanity.”
Arizona opened up her mouth to speak but was abruptly cut off again.
“You left me.” Callie’s brown eyes were hard and unwavering, cutting straight through the vulnerable blue gaze standing straight across from her. “You left me, Arizona, with some bullshit excuse about needing time to yourself and without telling me why. But guess what?” She slowly advanced on the blonde.
Arizona swallowed back, fighting the urge to flee for her life.
“I’m your girlfriend,” Callie went on, stopping when she was about a foot and a half away. “And that means I’m entitled to know what you’re thinking about at all times. I’m not saying you aren’t allowed time to yourself, but it should be time we’re both aware of and both agree on. You don’t get to decide to walk out the front door and not come back.”
Despite Callie’s harsh tone, Arizona could see the hurt swimming in her eyes. Sighing, her shoulders slumped and she reached out to gently brush their hands together. “I’m sorry,” she whispered, taking a small step forward.
“You told me you would never leave me, like everyone else in my life has,” Callie snapped, flinching and pulling away. “You told me you weren’t like George, or Erica, or my parents. Do you remember that? You promised me.”
“I didn’t leave you, Calliope,” Arizona reasoned. “I-”
“You left me,” Callie repeated. “Plain and simple, in whatever way you want to look at it. You left me.”
Arizona’s bottom lip quivered and she looked away, pushing a hand back through her tangled curls again. “God, I am so sorry,” she whispered, voice crackling with the effort of holding back tears. “I didn’t mean to, I-I didn’t want to, I just...”
No matter how she looked at it, Callie was one-hundred-and-ten-percent right. Arizona had left when she’d promised to never be one of those people. She’d broken that promise in a moment of selfish weakness.
She really couldn’t hate herself more than she did right now.
Callie’s hard glare softened considerably. She could read Arizona like a book, and the physical and emotional toll of everything she’d been going through was suddenly there on the surface, fighting to break through.
Callie prayed for once the blonde would just let it.
“Look at me,” she urged, stepping forward and taking Arizona by the arms.
Arizona automatically flinched and tried to pull away, but Callie wouldn’t let her.
“Look at me,” Callie reiterated, tightening her grip and pulling her closer. She refused to look away, heart tightening in her chest as Arizona started to crack right before her very eyes.
“You’re stuck with me, do you get that? I am not leaving you, no matter how fucking hard you try to push me away.” Callie’s fierce brown eyes nailed Arizona to the spot.
“Sooner or later, I’m going to rip you from your little cocoon of self-despair with my bare fucking hands and make you talk to me!”
Arizona’s features started to crumble and she couldn’t even see straight anymore. Her head felt like it was spinning in circles and nothing made sense anymore, nothing at all.
“I am pregnant, I am emotional, and I am horny!” Callie snapped, cheeks flushing a bright red. “And you left me alone for two days without any idea if you were ever coming back! You left me, even if you didn’t mean it that way. I could survive the others in my life brushing me aside, Arizona, but I couldn’t survive it if you did, too.”
Arizona opened her mouth and tried to speak but no sounds came out. She closed her eyes and held back the hard sob that was threatening to break lose.
She’d fucked up. She’d fucked up big time and Callie had every right to yell, had every right to hate her. She didn’t have an excuse.
“I’m sorry,” Arizona whispered, so quiet and vulnerable that her girlfriend barely caught the soft whimper.
Callie could see that she was losing her, that Arizona was so very close to slipping away completely. So she did the only thing she could think of.
She kissed her.
She kissed her slowly yet fiercely, yanking Arizona’s body into her own and crushing their lips together as though their lives depended on it. For all she knew, Arizona’s did.
The blonde’s first reaction was to stiffen, automatically grasping the arms of Callie’s leather jacket. She was caught off guard, but as soon as the physical connection registered in her mind, she pushed back into it.
Callie was the only thing keeping her grounded. The touch of her lips and that familiar taste and scent were like the glue holding her together.
The moment she felt Arizona respond to the kiss, Callie sought out the other woman’s tongue. Two sets of hands twisted and pulled at the clothing between them, quickly depositing the brunette’s jacket and sweater to the floor.
Callie pushed a hand beneath Arizona’s tank top and splayed her fingers across her stomach, pushing her backward.
Arizona let out a soft grunt when her back collided solidly with the wall. The hand beneath her shirt moved higher, cupping one of her breasts.
Arizona instantly reached up to grasp the sides of Callie’s face, pulling her deeper into the kiss. Her knees weakened and she immediately felt her lover press her hard against the wall. Fingers swept up to tangle themselves around dark locks of hair, giving them a gentle tug forward.
Callie moaned at the sensation and gave the breast in her palm a firm squeeze. She dropped her hand moments later to gather the hem of Arizona’s top, pushing the material further up her stomach before suddenly dropping to her knees.
It took a moment for Arizona to register the change in position, her lips immediately missing the tingling sensation of Callie’s against them.
The brunette took her time where she was, kissing and swiping her tongue across Arizona’s flat stomach, letting each touch linger until she felt the body above her quivering with delight.
“Calliope,” Arizona murmured under her breath as Callie started to pop the buttons on her shorts. She dropped her head back against the wall and blinked heavily a few times, her breath now coming in short, ragged bursts.
Callie bit down against the side of Arizona’s navel as she fumbled to pull the jean shorts down her legs. They dropped to the floor around Arizona’s ankles and she immediately ran her fingers up the back of the blonde’s smooth thighs.
Arizona fought against the small whimper that formed in the back of her throat. She tightened her fingers in the other woman’s hair and gave it another tug.
Callie pulled back from her girlfriend’s stomach to inhale a much-needed breath. “Don’t get too comfortable up there,” she said through a smirk, taking in the hazy, somewhat euphoric look Arizona was wearing.
The blonde slowly opened her eyes and glanced down, finally managing a semblance of a smile. It was shaky, but it was there, and it was more than Callie had seen from her in days.
Pushing back to her feet, Callie took a small step away from Arizona, keeping their eyes locked. “I’m not the one that has some making up to do,” she added with a growing smirk, hands working open the buckle of her own belt.
Not long after, her jeans dropped to the floor and she stepped out of them.
For the first time in days, Arizona’s head was suddenly clear as day. A breathless smile crossed her face and she took a moment to gaze at the half-naked Goddess standing in front of her.
Who in their right mind could ever walk away from that?
Arizona bit her lower lip and pushed away from the wall, advancing on Callie as the brunette stepped back towards the bed. “I do have some making up to do, don’t I?”
She kept moving forward until Callie’s legs hit the mattress and she automatically sat down. Arizona slid one knee onto the sheets next to her girlfriend and placed a hand on her shoulder. “Lay back,” she instructed, quietly but firmly.
Callie took a moment to meet Arizona’s gaze, noticing some of that familiar spark shining back at her.
Good. It was about time she got the blonde’s attention.
Arizona helped Callie scoot further back on the bed before slowly climbing on top of her. Callie’s dark hair and olive complexion were in sexy contrast against the crisp white sheets beneath them. She licked her lips and leaned in, immediately attaching her lips to the side of her girlfriend’s neck.
Callie sucked in a sharp breath and both hands flew up to weave through the other woman’s golden tresses. “W-wait,” she groaned, reluctantly tugging Arizona’s head back. “More clothes first,” she whispered huskily, meeting those gorgeous blue eyes again. She dropped her hands down to tug at the hem of Arizona’s grey tank.
Arizona smirked and reached down to stop her. “Maybe I want you naked, first.”
Callie arched a slow brow. “You left me pregnant, alone and worried for two days. You take your shirt off. Now.”
Arizona relented without much of a fight, sitting back to straddle her girlfriend’s thighs. She reached down to pull the thin material over her head and grinned at her partner before dropping the article to the side in a teasing fashion. “Better?”
Dark eyes swept across newly exposed skin. Callie ran both hands along Arizona’s stomach again, loving how utterly soft and perfect she felt beneath her fingertips. “Almost better,” she finally answered.
She sat up beneath Arizona, adding “Help me with this,” while pulling at the sides of her maternity shirt. She was just barely showing, but it was comfy and still fit nicely.
Given that she hadn’t had sex in forever, Callie just knew that if the blonde didn’t help her out, she’d rip it in two herself.
Never needing to be asked twice - especially when it came to undressing the most beautiful woman in the world - Arizona expertly worked the silky material up and over her head.
Both eyes immediately dropped down and she smiled.
Callie chuckled. “Perv. Figures it takes my boobs to get you to listen to me.”
Arizona glanced up and flashed her a crooked grin. “Don’t get me wrong, you have gorgeous breasts, Calliope. But that’s not what I’m smiling at.”
Her right hand pressed against the smallest baby bump that was barely visible unless you were looking for it. They were over four months along now and physically seeing proof of the tiny life growing inside was enough to bring Arizona to tears.
Callie instantly had to fight off the urge to start bawling like a baby herself upon seeing the tell-tale shine to Arizona’s blue eyes. Stupid hormones.
She placed a hand over her girlfriend’s and spoke in a soft, quiet voice. “Happy?”
Arizona met her gaze, nodding in confirmation. “So happy,” she whispered, meaning it with every fiber of her being. “Don’t ever doubt that.”
Callie had, though, especially when Arizona up and left. Part of her had been terrified that she was about to become a single parent, even though deep down she knew Arizona would never abandon her like that.
“Good thing you came to your senses, huh?” Callie teased, hoping to move things away from the un-sexy crying they were both about to do. She wanted to keep the mood going because she wanted to re-connect with the love of her life, and she didn’t want any interruptions this time. For all she knew, the smallest thing could send Arizona running again.
Arizona laughed with an enthusiastic nod. “Yeah. I don’t know what I was so afraid of; kids aren’t so scary after all.” She couldn’t look away from where their joined hands rested. “Right now I can’t imagine a life where we’re not about to have a beautiful baby girl together.”
She lifted her eyes back up to meet Callie’s. “I know I’m screwed up, but I love you. So much it hurts sometimes.”
A weight felt as though it lifted from Callie’s shoulders.
They were both right where they wanted to be. They just had to fight like hell to stay there.
“Then let me make it better,” she murmured, pulling Arizona down into another kiss.
Together they fell back against the bed, any remaining articles of clothing disappearing over the side a short time later. Arizona wrestled her way on top, though through a frenzy of feverish kisses and groping hands, they rolled around numerous times, switching places.
Eventually Arizona ended up behind Callie, kissing down along the center of her back. Her girlfriend’s right hand reached behind and tangled itself in her hair.
Callie shivered when she felt the blonde’s warm tongue trail a wet path across her skin. She arched forward but a sharp muscle pain caused her to groan.
“Ow, honey, wait,” she called down.
Arizona froze and looked up.
“Sorry,” Callie laughed, blushing. “Body’s not exactly bending much these days.”
Arizona giggled under her breath as she kissed her way up Callie’s back again. She brushed the woman’s long, silky hair away from her shoulder and planted her lips firmly against her neck. “Getting old?” she mused, smiling into her ear.
“Uh, more like ‘over four months pregnant with your child’,” Callie pointed out, elbowing her in the gut.
“Oh, right.” Arizona grinned and leaned around to plant another firm, desirable kiss on her girlfriend’s lips, supporting her weight with her left arm against the mattress. “I’m sorry. I’ll be gentle.”
Callie growled under her breath. “Not too gentle, I hope.”
Arizona just smirked, eyes flickering down the nude body beneath her. “I’ll see what I can manage,” she promised, rolling Callie onto her back.
She immediately captured her lips in a deep, satisfying kiss, holding it just long enough to leave the brunette wanting more. She broke it off and wasted no time in kissing along her collarbone, trailing further south before coming to a stop along her stomach.
Arizona’s kisses went from hard and frantic to soft and caressing as they lingered over what she found to be the most beautiful part of her partner these days.
“You really are glowing, you know that?” Arizona glanced up as she pressed her lips to the smallest of baby bumps.
Callie smiled in return. “It happens,” she whispered, reaching down to place a hand on the back of Arizona’s head.
Closing her eyes, the blonde nuzzled against their unborn baby, taking a second to remind herself why she needed to keep fighting.
The moment that passed between them meant more to Callie than she ever thought possible. She knew exactly what Arizona was doing and wanted to give her all the time in the world to do it.
She didn’t have to wait long.
Arizona suddenly launched herself back up Callie’s body and crushed their lips together, taking her breath away with another searing kiss.
By the time she pulled back, the brunette was left stunned and with her head spinning. She barely noticed Arizona settling between her legs until two strong hands wrapped around her thighs and yanked her down.
Arizona left a trail of wet kisses along Callie’s inner thigh, taking her time in caressing the smooth skin beneath her lips. She inhaled deeply, the unmistakable scent of Callie’s arousal flooding her senses and making her groan with need.
“No wonder you came over for a late-night booty call,” Arizona teased.
“Mostly came to yell at you,” Callie purred, pawing at the top of Arizona’s head. “This is just an added bonus.”
A raspy chuckle rumbled up from the blonde’s chest and she decided to give in to the silent begging.
The moment that wicked, wicked tongue made contact, Callie’s eyes rolled back into her head and she arched up off the bed.
Arizona immediately pushed between slick folds, the unforgettable taste of her partner exploding over her tongue. She slowly massaged it along her entire length, dipping down to press at her entrance.
“Fuck,” Callie growled, digging her fingers into the back of Arizona’s scalp.
Maybe she should’ve felt a little more guilty about craving sex these last few months when Arizona was going through such a rough time, but God damn it, she was pregnant, horny and had a hot woman in her life.
She shouldn’t have to apologize for wanting it.
Arizona swept her tongue between her partner’s labia before sucking lightly on her clit, using just enough pressure to elicit a ripple of pleasure from the woman above her. She moved a hand up to part her lips a little more, tongue stroking against the sensitive bundle of nerves.
Callie bucked her hips at the sensation and tightened her grip in Arizona’s hair. A sharp gasp escaped her lips as she arched her back again, another deep shiver traveling through her entire body.
Arizona continued her assault on the other woman’s clit, alternating between soft strokes of her tongue and gentle sucking with her lips. The sheer amount of wetness that spilled from her partner to coat her chin only served to spur her on.
Blue eyes flickered up to watch the reaction as she swiped her tongue down the length of Callie’s pussy again. She uncurled her right hand from around a strong thigh and brushed the backs of her knuckles against her sex, silently asking for permission.
The harsh groan that erupted from Callie’s lips was music to her ears and all the permission she needed.
Arizona sunk two fingers deep into her girlfriend, immediately growling her approval at how hot and wet she was. It wouldn’t take much to push her over the edge at this point, she could tell.
Callie seemed to be thinking along the same lines. “Kiss me,” she begged, pulling upward.
With one last brief suck, followed by a light kiss to the sensitive bud, Arizona pushed herself up. The hand in her hair guided their lips back together in a rough, needy kiss.
Callie slipped her tongue out to taste herself on Arizona’s lips, holding her into the kiss and spreading her legs as the blonde’s fingers pumped ruthlessly inside.
Arizona rocked her hips forward, pushing into the back of her hand with a thigh. The heel of her palm pressed against Callie’s clit as the woman’s fingernails bit into the back of her neck.
Callie broke the kiss soon after, gasping for air as both eyes rolled back in her head.
Arizona moved down her neck again, seeking out and kissing a memorized sensitive spot just below her ear. She grazed her lips against it before uttering a quiet, “Calliope...”
It didn’t take much more than that warm, soft breath against her skin before every part of Callie seized up. Her right leg hooked over the blonde’s hip, holding her down as an arm flew around the back of her neck to pull her back into a desperate kiss. Every muscle in Callie’s body tensed up to an almost painful degree before releasing in the most delicious way.
Arizona kept her fingers pumping into her lover’s core, drawing out every last ounce of wetness she could find. Only when the quivering form beneath collapsed a short time later did she let up a little, and only when a clumsy hand pushed hers away did she pull out completely.
Heart pounding in her chest, Arizona brushed her lips against Callie’s ear once more. “Mm. You’re so sexy when you come like that, baby.”
How on earth she’d survived a full two days - weeks, even - without that was beyond her. There was nothing more satisfying than the feeling of Calliope Torres writhing with pleasure beneath her.
Callie was blissfully semi-conscious for a few minutes, during which time Arizona settled in against her side, burrowing comfortably into the crook of her neck.
“Humph,” was about the only coherent sound Callie was capable of making at that time. Arizona chuckled, the low rumble vibrating wonderfully against Callie’s skin as the blonde threw an arm around her waist.
This right here was what she’d been missing for weeks. This connection she knew they’d always had, yet somehow lost during Arizona’s personal trials.
Callie was so damn grateful just to feel it again. She turned her head and angled her neck down, just as Arizona tipped hers up to share in a gentle, loving kiss.
Arizona sighed into the contact, smiling lazily when Callie pulled away again. She was the picture of perfect contentment as she rested her cheek against the brunette’s shoulder, taking a moment to listen to her breathing and the rhythmic beat of her heart.
Callie licked her lips and regained enough composure to speak finally. “Now that I’ve had my orgasm,” she began, “I’m gonna kick your butt until you talk to me, Robbins.”
Blue eyes popped open at once and Arizona lifted her head warily. “Uh...”
“Don’t you ‘uh’ me,” Callie shot back as she pulled away just enough to look down at her girlfriend. “I’m mad as hell that you left, but I love you and refuse to keep watching you suffer alone. I know there’s more to this than I’m seeing, so I’m just gonna sit on you until you talk to me.”
Arizona swallowed back and looked uncertain. “I...”
Callie cocked an eyebrow. “Seriously, I’ll sit on you for the last five months of this pregnancy if I have to. I’ve got nothing but time.”
Despite her somewhat teasing tone, Callie was watching her partner like a hawk. She could see that all-too familiar storm settle back into blue eyes, the storm that washed away the happy twinkle she’d missed so much.
Silently, Arizona pushed herself into a sitting position, holding the sheet to her chest. She stared blankly at the opposite wall, the reality of everything forcing its way through the brief bubble she’d been encased in.
“I...I-I can’t,” she whispered, closing her eyes and fighting to keep her voice steady. “Calliope, you’re pregnant. You don’t need to be stressing over what’s going on in my head.”
It was a weak argument and she knew it.
“You’re a huge moron, you know that?” Callie said bluntly. “You leaving to go to a hotel and refusing to tell me why isn’t exactly a spa day for me, Arizona. Not to mention you’ve been absent for weeks. So my stress level? Already far and beyond what it should be.”
The peds surgeon sighed, pulling her knees up to her chest and wrapping both arms around them. “I don’t know what to tell you, Calliope,” she began, her voice barely above a whisper. “I’m - I’m a mess, all the time these days, a-and I can’t...”
Arizona squeezed her eyes shut, a heavy weight settling back inside her chest. Suddenly it was hard to breathe. “The last thing I want is for you to worry. All that matters to me is you and our baby staying healthy.”
Callie exhaled quietly and pushed herself up as well, scooting in behind Arizona. She placed a soothing hand against her back, immediately feeling the overwhelming amount of tension being carried around.
“And what good is it gonna do for us to stay healthy while you fall apart, hm?” She leaned in to press a light kiss against Arizona’s shoulder blade. “I love you for loving us so much, but it’s not gonna do anyone any good if you don’t take care of yourself. If you don’t let us take care of you.”
Arizona swallowed back the lump in her throat, fists bunching around the white bed sheets.
“I know you’re trying to protect us, sweetie, but we love you and want you to be happy and healthy, too,” Callie continued, shifting until she was pressed right up against the other woman’s back.
Arizona smiled faintly. She loved the way Callie used ‘we’ instead of just ‘I’. Thinking of their daughter was the only bright spot she had left on her horizon these days.
The smile didn’t last long, however, and Arizona still couldn’t bring herself to look at Callie directly. She felt ashamed and unworthy of someone like her, especially after breaking her promise.
“Arizona, please,” Callie begged through a soft whisper, and that was all it took.
Arizona’s bottom lip trembled dangerously as she pulled in a steadying breath.
“My dad is gonna die.”
The undiluted pain in that tiny little whisper shot straight through Callie’s heart.
Arizona didn’t realize she was crying until there were already tears streaming down her face. “I-I don’t...I don’t know how to exist in a world where he doesn’t, where Aaron doesn’t.”
“Baby,” Callie said quietly, rubbing a soothing hand across Arizona’s back.
“Half of my family is about to be gone. Extinct.” That realization was enough to knock the wind out of Arizona. She’d known it for a while now, yet saying it out loud made it even more true.
Half of her entire family was about to officially disappear off the face of the planet and there was nothing she could do about it.
Callie felt an instant, sharp pain in her chest. She’d known that losing her father was the key part in all of this, but hearing it said, hearing the utter helplessness in Arizona’s voice...
“Oh, honey,” Callie murmured, shifting to the side as she turned the blonde to face her. “Hey,” she called again, reaching up to place a delicate hand against her girlfriend’s cheek, steering her gaze back up.
“We don’t know that,” she said firmly, truly wanting to believe those words with every part of her being. “And your family, it isn’t about to get smaller.”
Callie dropped her hand down to take Arizona’s, intertwining their fingers and bringing them up to rest against the tiny swell of her stomach. “It’s about to grow.”
Arizona let out a soft breath and closed her eyes, more tears escaping. “God, you two are the only part of my life that makes sense right now,” she whispered hoarsely.
Callie managed to smile, though there were tears of her own shimmering behind gentle brown eyes.
“He might die, Callie.” Arizona swallowed back thickly, focusing on her partner again. “Sometimes I hate being a doctor and knowing things. Sometimes I just wish I was naïve and stupid, and could be spoon fed a bunch of crap about how miracles happen every day and actually believe it.”
Callie squeezed her fingers against the hand still resting over her belly. “If he does,” she began after a moment of silence, “if that happens...it would be horrible, and sad, and impossibly hard. But you’ll get through it. We’ll get through it - together. Not you sitting alone in a hotel wearing terrible shorts and drinking over-priced booze from the mini bar.”
Arizona let out a short bark of laughter, though it sounded raw and painful.
Callie shifted and pulled Arizona into her arms, guiding her head onto her shoulder. She stroked her fingers through the silky blonde curls that spilled across the woman’s back. “You’re named for a battleship, Arizona Robbins. You’re strong and you can get through anything, you hear me?”
At those words, Arizona closed her eyes and finally let go. A single, choking cry was the first to escape, but she couldn’t hold back the flood of emotion any longer. She fell apart into a wet, sobbing mess in Callie’s arms, collapsing into her lap as any resolve she had left melted away completely.
The brunette gathered Arizona in her lap, holding on for dear life as the blonde burrowed into the white sheets covering her legs.
It nearly broke Callie to see her this way, but she held it together and hunched over Arizona’s shaking form, nuzzling into her shoulder. One arm curled around the blonde’s torso and the other protectively around the back of her head. She whispered soft, comforting words while stroking her fingers through the unruly blonde curls she adored so much.
If this is what it took to make Arizona okay again, she’d gladly sit here all night if she had to.
Even if Arizona wanted to hold it together, it was a physical impossibility now. She didn’t have the energy left to fight it anymore, to try and pretend like she was okay.
She wasn’t. She was broken and lost and fucking terrified, and she didn’t know which way was up anymore.
So she clung to the invisible lifeline Callie threw in the water and held on for dear life.
It took a long time, but Callie eventually felt the shaking subside into smaller quivers. Arizona pushed herself up a little more and turned her face into Callie’s chest.
Callie circled both arms around her shoulders, hugging her closely and resting her chin on top of Arizona’s head.
At some point Arizona’s tear ducts ran dry and she was too emotionally drained to cry anymore. It had been a long, long time coming, and although she was somewhat embarrassed for having a mental breakdown in front of her partner, she was also unbelievably grateful that the other woman existed.
Arizona finally lifted her head from Callie’s chest, furrowing her brow as she sniffled back and absently wiped at the tears staining her girlfriend’s skin. “You’re all wet now.”
Callie broke out into a warm smile, gazing down adoringly. “That’s all your doing, my love.”
Arizona snorted and shook her head. “Now who’s the perv?”
Callie grinned cutely.
Arizona’s brief amusement didn’t last long, however, and soon she was looking pretty solemn again. She met those beautiful brown eyes and prepared herself for this next part. She was too tired to back out now.
“Callie?”
Callie kept a soft hand stroking Arizona’s back while the other moved down to curl around her side. “What is it, baby?”
Arizona swallowed hard and breathed in again. “There’s something else I have to tell you.”
Any trace of amusement soon vanished from Callie’s face. She studied her lover intently, gazing into those soulful blue eyes of hers. “I’m listening.”
Arizona hesitated and licked her lips. “It’s...i-it’s about Carmen.”
Furrowing her brow, Callie felt a small pang in the pit of her stomach.
She didn’t like where this was starting, much less where it was going.
“Okay,” she replied flatly, pausing the hand she had rubbing Arizona’s back but not pulling away. She stayed where she was, waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Arizona looked nervous, not to mentioned frightened. Despite Queen Hell Bitch being their new topic of discussion, Callie had no fleeting thoughts about the blonde cheating on her again. She trusted her and they were past that phase of their life now.
But just because it didn’t involve cheating, didn’t mean it was about to be a fun conversation for either of them.
“Did you knock her up, too?” Callie prodded tentatively when Arizona had yet to continue.
The blonde opened her mouth, let it hover that way for a few seconds, then abruptly shut it again.
“Crap,” she mumbled after a moment of pushing through her muddled thoughts. She sighed heavily and reached down to hold both of her girlfriend’s hands. “She’s...s-she filed a lawsuit again me. A sexual harassment lawsuit, for what happened earlier this year and some stuff she’s claiming I did after.”
Arizona nearly started shaking again as she waited for a response that didn’t come. “It’s not looking good so far, and I - I’m not...I’m so, so sorry,” she begged, not knowing what else to say.
Callie took a moment to digest this new bit of information, staying rooted to the spot.
A lawsuit. A sexual harassment lawsuit, no less. The kind that had the potential to end careers.
Shaking her head, Callie finally focused back on Arizona. “Why the hell are you sorry?” she demanded, maneuvering the hands within her own to give them a supportive squeeze. “You didn’t sexually harass anyone. She’s just pissed and trying to get back at you for choosing me. Fucking bitch.”
Arizona finally smiled a little, feeling an enormous weight suddenly lift from her shoulders at the sheer aggravation in Callie’s voice.
“There was never any choice. It’s always been you, Torres,” she said, lifting their hands and pressing her lips to the back of the other pair.
Callie cracked a crooked smile. “Right back at you, Robbins.”
Arizona shook her head and glanced down for a moment. “Derek’s on my side. He doesn’t seem to think it’ll go to court, but...” She hesitated. “It may get to a point where he has to let me go.”
Callie frowned.
“The timing couldn’t be worse, but I have money from selling my condo locked up in savings, so we’d be okay for a while. We just have to be careful about looking for a new house until everything gets sorted out.”
Arizona glanced up and watched Callie through sad eyes, her shoulders sagging in defeat. “I’m so sorry. I feel like I’ve...like I’ve failed you already, and we’ve barely even started our life together.”
Up until this point, Callie had still been processing, but those last few words made her snap to attention.
“Would you stop talking like that?” she shot back, shaking her head firmly. “You are not going to lose your job and you have nothing to be sorry for, except maybe for not telling me sooner. You didn’t do this, Arizona, okay? She did. So shut up and stop apologizing to me.”
Arizona barely managed a weak grin at Callie’s idle threats.
“I’m not exactly at a crap job myself,” the brunette added with a pointed smirk. “I know I’ll have to take some time off to have the baby, but it won’t matter because you’re not losing your job. Got it?”
Arizona nodded silently, though she wished she could be as confident as the other woman was.
Callie sighed as she gently rubbed her thumbs over the back of her partner’s hands. “We’ll get through this,” she whispered confidently. “We’ll get through anything as long as we’re together. I promise you.”
Arizona finally felt the remaining tension drain from her shoulders. She leaned across the short distance to press a loving kiss to her favourite set of lips. “You’re kind of awesome. Anyone ever tell you that?”
Callie smirked into the kiss, briefly nibbling on Arizona’s bottom lip. “A few girls,” she replied in a low, husky murmur. “But that was mostly during sex.”
“Huh-ho, so that’s how you’re gonna play it now, huh?” Arizona’s trademark cheeky grin was starting to resurface at long last. She stole a couple of more light, playful kisses, shifting and starting to push Callie back against the bed.
But the brunette had other plans. She snagged both of Arizona’s wrists and twisted them around, pushing forward until she had the pediatric surgeon pinned on her back.
With that signature Torres smirk of her own, Callie brought Arizona’s hands up above her head and pinned them down against the pillows. “No, I have a whole knew strategy planned out for seducing you, actually,” she mused, squeezing both hands to indicate the other woman was to keep hers right where they were. “Allow me to demonstrate.”
An actual giggle erupted from Arizona’s lips as Callie playfully nipped along the side of her jaw. “And here I thought you were gonna ground me for being in trouble.”
“Is that your way of begging for punishment? Kinky. I like it.”
“Yes, I’m now an official S&M sponsor, did I forget to tell you that?”
Callie’s eyes glazed over and she tried not to get too lost in that fantasy.
Arizona just chuckled and craned her neck up the short distance to steal another teasing kiss.
“I’m not gonna be mad at you for being truthful with me,” Callie added after a moment. “I’m a little peeved you waited all this time, but I can understand where you were coming from.”
“I’m sorry,” Arizona replied automatically, clamming up when her lover shot her an annoyed glare.
“I’d threaten to spank you every time you apologize to me, but something tells me you’d like that a little too much.”
Arizona turned bright red and giggled again. “You’re the one who’s gonna get me into trouble, Calliope. You’ve always got something naughty up your sleeve.” She tried to move her hands, only to have the brunette push them harder into the bed to reinforce her point.
Callie chewed on her bottom lip, her playfulness suddenly melting away to be replaced with something else entirely.
Guilt.
Arizona immediately ticked an eyebrow. “What did you do?”
Callie sucked in a big breath and produced the most radiant, hopefully-charming smile she could manage. “In the...spirit of sharing and being honest, I, uh. I-I think I should tell you that I may have, um...”
Arizona blinked up at her, waiting patiently.
“Maybe-kind-of-charged-about-four-hundred-dollars-worth-of-baby-accessories-to-your-Platinum-card,” Callie blurted out in a rush.
The blonde’s jaw fell open and she immediately jerked her head over to the huge stash of baby clothing sitting on the chair across the room. “How did you get my-”
“On your dresser,” Callie answered, gnawing on the inside of her cheek and doing her best to look totally innocent.
After a brief pause, Arizona laughed once, shaking her head in disbelief. “Okay, well, if I lose my job, we might have to take some of it back.”
“You are not gonna lose your job,” Callie shot back, grumbling down at the other woman.
“I might not have to - if you keep up your spending habits, we’ll be living in a garbage bin by Thanksgiving. Jeeze, woman.”
“Hey, you’re the one that left the crazy hormonal pregnant lady alone for two days. I can’t be held responsible for my actions.”
“So you’re saying that it’s my fault.”
“Pretty much.”
Arizona rolled her eyes and sighed in loving exasperation. “I guess you’re just gonna have to find a way to make it up to me, then.”
Callie flexed the hands she still had wrapped around Arizona’s wrists, making sure they were firmly planted above her head before leaning down to trace her tongue along Arizona’s collarbone.
“I think I can come up with something.”
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