Fault Lines (5 [Part Two]/36)
Fault Lines
Chapter 5 (Part Two)/36
Authors: Faith kennedysbitch & Kye
Pairing: Callie/Arizona, Mark/Lexie
Rating: NC-17
Story Summary: Sequel to Choices. Callie and Arizona make the decision to move forward with their lives, but when a gradual series of events begin to snowball, Arizona tries desperately not to lose her grip on reality.
Chapter Summary: When push comes to shove, Arizona finally snaps.
Disclaimer:All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.
Previous Chapters
A/N: I am an update machine! For the first time ever. Seriously. Mostly because I want to get this entire thing posted and out of my hair sooner rather than later, as I've got another big fic on the go that needs my attention. I'll keep aiming to post 2, sometimes 3 updates a week, mostly on Mondays and Wednesdays. The whole thing is already written, which makes this 1000 times easier.
Thanks to those who keep reading and commenting, we both appreciate reading your feedback. :) Enjoy!
---
Arizona sighed to herself as she flicked off the bathroom light and stepped back into the bedroom.
Callie looked up from the magazine in her lap at the sound of footsteps approaching the bed. “You didn't have to be so mean to him,” she started softly as she met blue eyes. “He's just a little excited at the possibility of being a Daddy.”
Arizona bristled at Callie’s choice of words. “Funny, I thought he was the donor, not the dad,” she answered stiffly, sitting on the edge of the bed with her back to Callie and slowly pulling off her socks.
Somehow, she’d known that it would turn out this way when she agreed to let Mark be the ‘donor’. But she’d do anything to make Callie happy, including letting Sloan father their child.
Or…Callie and Mark’s child, as it was turning out to be. Her heart tightened in her chest at just the thought.
“He was pressuring you into it. He didn’t have the right to.” Arizona pulled off her other sock and tossed them both onto the floor, but didn’t turn around just yet.
Callie instantly noticed the tension in her girlfriend's back. “I didn't mean it like that. He is just the donor.” She sighed as she pulled the magazine from her lap to toss it carelessly onto the floor next to the bed. She hesitated for a moment as her dark eyes gauged her lover's mood.
The tension spoke for itself.
Callie really wasn't up for another fight right now, but...she wasn't just going to give in, either.
“You have to look at it from his point of view,” she offered after a beat of silence.
Arizona still didn’t turn to face her.
“He knows he's just technically the donor, but on the other hand, this baby will be a part of him.” She paused for a moment. “He's already lost his own daughter and probably his only grandson.”
“Then maybe he’s not in the best position to be doing this,” Arizona replied, unable to bite her tongue any longer. She turned to look at Callie, her expression still a bit guarded. “I’m sorry about Sloane-Sloan and her baby, I really am. It sucks for him. Which is why I honestly don’t think he can just sit back and not be a father if he’s the donor for us.”
She sighed heavily and turned back to stare at the wall. “And in some ways, I can’t really blame him for it. Watching a kid that’s biologically yours growing up with someone else as the parents literally right across the hall? It’s not gonna be any easier on him. I’ve been short with him because I can already see that he’s going into ‘dad’ mode, when it’s not his place.”
Arizona hesitated again, but ended up saying what she had to say anyway.
If they really were only a day or two away…she couldn’t hold her peace until after it was too late.
“I agreed to have a baby with you, Callie. Not you and Mark.”
Callie's eyes widened. “What?” She hesitated, confusion clearly written across her face. “I know that,” she finally replied slowly. “Don’t you think I know that?”
Arizona still had her back turned.
Callie sighed in frustration. “Arizona, would you just look at me? I refuse to have this fight with you if you won't even look at me.”
Arizona closed her eyes for a second. She didn’t want to fight, she didn’t. This was supposed to be a happy time for them, not cause for another argument.
But it looked like it was turning out to be one anyway.
Of course.
She opened her eyes and turned around, pulling her legs up onto the bed beneath her, but stayed right where she was. “Look, Mark’s a good guy. We fight and he irritates the hell out of me when he pulls out his attitude, but I like him. Sometimes. Sort of. I’m just...not sure that he could handle being nothing more than your friend and the baby’s ‘uncle’.” She paused. “And I know I can’t handle him trying to be a father. I won’t be a third party in our child’s life, Calliope. I won’t.”
Callie's brow furrowed even deeper. “I'd never expect you to be.” She paused to take in an uneasy breath. “I'd never want you to be.” She pushed the sheets back a little as she moved to scoot just a bit closer towards the blonde. “This will be our baby, Arizona. Yours and mine.”
Arizona sighed in frustration. “Yeah. I heard you the first time.”
Callie jerked a little at the unexpected response. “What the hell's that supposed to mean?”
Arizona finally lost it.
“Are you blind?!” she suddenly shouted, the outburst a lot angrier than intended as she rounded on Callie. “He’s talking about names! A-and college funds! And he bought you a fricking crib, Calliope! I wasn’t even supposed to tell you about it, but god damn it, Callie, that’s my job!” Her fist smacked down hard against the covers. She was shaking, angry tears burning behind her eyes.
She really felt she had every right to be upset. Mark and Callie were best friends and he was making it clear as day that he had every intention of being the father to their baby.
Whether or not Callie saw it, Arizona knew she didn’t fit well into that equation.
A tense silence passed between them, and Arizona swallowed back, trying to rein her temper back in, her voice shaking. “I’m telling you, Mark can’t handle fathering a child and not being the father. And that’s not fair to either of us.”
Callie was quiet for a long moment as she let her girlfriend's words hang in the air between them. “Fine,” she finally replied in a soft, but stern voice. “You don't want him to be the father...I mean the donor, then...” She paused for a moment as she felt the muscle in her jaw tick. “Fine,” she finished with a slight growl.
Brown eyes hardened a little as they stared back into a deeper than usual shade of blue.
“Would you like to pick which stranger is going to be the donor for our baby?” Callie added with a sharp glare. “And when our kid grows up and wants to know his or her father, then you can be the one to tell him or her that we have no frikken' idea.”
“He or she is going to have two loving parents,” Arizona snapped back. “There’s absolutely no reason that the donor has to be anything other than just that, a donor.”
“Are you just pissed off because it can’t be you?” Callie fired off without thinking.
She was defensive, and when she got defensive, she fought dirty. But she hated fighting dirty with Arizona, especially when she could immediately see the hurt behind those beautiful blue eyes of hers.
Arizona recoiled, the words stinging more than she’d like to admit. “If I could physically make a baby with you, we wouldn’t be having this conversation,” she pointed out harshly. “But I can’t. I’m not hung up over it. All that matters to me is that I love you and our baby, whether or not I’m a biological parent.”
“But you won’t love it if it’s Mark’s?” Callie asked, staring Arizona down.
The blonde sighed heavily. “That’s not what I’m saying.” She ran a hand back through her hair. “We’re going in circles here.” Her fingers tightened around blonde strands. She looked truly pained as she tried to figure out how in the hell to get Callie to see why this wasn’t working.
“If Mark steps in as a father, then I...I don’t have a place in any of this, Callie. None. And I won’t...I can’t...” Arizona’s voice cracked and she looked away.
Taken back, Callie felt a little bit of her own anger begin to dissipate. She dropped her gaze away from her girlfriend to focus on the blanket as she began to pick at a loose thread. “The last thing in the world I want is for you to feel left out.” She cautiously glanced up at the blonde, but quickly averted her eyes back to the comforter. “I really want this to be our baby, Zona. In every way that's possible.” She sighed softly. “Physical or otherwise.”
She did have to admit that it was kind of...awkward.
If the positions were reversed, she wasn't even sure how she'd feel about it, either. Having Arizona's best friend, with whom she, briefly, had a sexual relationship with, to be the baby's...donor/father or whatever...it wouldn't exactly be high up on her 'happy times' list, either.
Callie loved Mark. And she knew he was getting a little more...involved than they had originally planned for him to be. But, for her, she was the one physically having the baby, so it hadn’t bothered her as much. She would always have that connection to their child, always. But Arizona? If she thought Mark was stepping into the place that was supposed to be rightfully hers...
Yeah. She was starting to understand just a little bit better now.
And she felt like an ass.
“God, Arizona,” Callie sighed again as she finally looked away from the blanket to glance up and meet hurt blue eyes. “Baby, I'm so sorry.” She paused to release a tense breath. “I’m an insensitive idiot, a-and I’m...I’m sorry.”
Arizona shook her head. “You’re not an insensitive idiot,” she said quietly. She shuffled a little closer so she could reach out to grasp her girlfriend’s hand, taking in a steadying breath. “This is just…hard for me. I know it’s a little selfish, but…I’m having a really hard time being okay with it being Mark. And I’m sorry, because I really want to give you what you want, but…”
The soft hand squeeze was returned. “What I want,” Callie began with a gentle, disbelieving smile, “is for us to have a baby to love and nurture and spoil rotten. Together.”
Arizona laughed a little at that.
Callie kept her smile as she swallowed thickly. She gave the hand in hers another gentle tug. “What I want,” she repeated, “is for us to be happy and in love for the rest of our lives.”
Arizona managed a weak grin.
“But what I want the most?” Callie reached out to place her free hand on the blonde's knee. “Is for you to be happy and comfortable with who we choose to give us this baby.” She squeezed the knee beneath her palm. “I want you to be the only other parental figure in this child's life.” She quirked a little half-smirk. “We can even have him or her call you 'Daddy', if you want.”
Arizona grinned a little at that. “Not so sure about the ‘daddy’ part, but I like the rest of what you’re saying.” She shuffled closer, until she was sitting right next to her lover. Placing a hand against Callie’s stomach, she leaned in to kiss her softly. “I promise you, we’ll be ready by next month. I want this to happen just as badly as you do.”
“Before you start going grey would be nice,” Callie replied with a smirk.
Arizona pouted that famous pout of hers. “Now that’s just mean.”
Callie chuckled before leaning in to softly kiss that pout away, then tugged her partner into a hug. “We’ll figure this out, honey. We'll figure this out.”
Arizona sighed and buried her nose into the crook of Callie's neck, relief flooding through her as the tension she'd been carrying around for weeks finally left her body. "I know. We always do."
***
“Can you believe that?” Lexie Grey shouted a little drunkenly as she slapped her hand down onto the bar. “The patient flatlines when I'm nowhere in the room and I still get blamed!”
Joe looked at the resident with wide eyes while he poured her another beer.
“I mean seriously! Why me? Alex is the ass who was supposed to be watching him, but he’s too busy being a stupid...ass because I stopped giving him the sex. Because he’s a jerk and he drinks too much.” Her eyes narrowed at the bartender. “And it was good sex, Joe. Really good sex.”
She tipped back her head and drown in the rest of her sixth beer.
Helluva day.
Slamming it on the counter, she moaned and dropped her head against the surface as well. “I hate my job. My job sucks.”
“At least it's your job and not your life that sucks,” a deep, familiar voice rang out from behind her.
Lexie lifted her head from the bar to glance over with bleary eyes. Her brow furrowed as she leaned towards the blurry figure. “Mark?” she said a little too loudly. “That you?”
“The one and, unfortunately, only,” Mark replied as he tipped back his own drink. He drained the contents before dropping it back onto the bar and sliding into a stool. “Joe,” he called with a wave of his hand. “Another one.”
Lexie leaned even closer to her ex-boyfriend. “Mark,” she repeated loudly. “How long have you been sitting there?”
Mark recoiled a little, squinting at Lexie. “Why are you yelling?”
“I’m not!” Lexie shouted just as loud as before.
Mark literally put his hand over her mouth. “Shh. Inside voice, Lex.”
Lexie nodded once, then grabbed for her empty beer glass and turned away from him. “Another one.”
Joe shook his head. “I’m cutting you off, Dr. Grey.”
Lexie pouted. “I don’t work tomorrow. I can get drunk if I want to.” She turned on her stool to look at Mark. “Why are you drunk? Your life doesn’t suck. You’re having sex with a cardio God and making babies with lesbians. Your life rocks compared to mine.”
She belched.
Mark sighed heavily as he pushed himself a little back and away from the resident. “I'm not so much with either of those things at the moment.” He turned his attention back to his empty beer bottle. “Teddy hasn't called me in weeks, and Callie's blonde little...bitch of a girlfriend has had my balls in a vice grip ever since this whole 'baby-daddy' thing started.”
Lexie's brow furrowed and she slowly dropped her gaze down to Mark's lap. “Doesn't that hurt?”
Mark blinked as he slowly turned to look at her. He smirked through his buzz. “You're really drunk, huh?”
Lexie grunted and folded her arms against the bar before dropping her head onto them. “Yeah. I don’t drink very often these days, but I’ve decided to quit my job and move to Paris, so I figured I should have a few first. For courage.”
Mark froze with his beer halfway to his lips. “You what?”
“First I’m gonna quit my job. Then I’m gonna save up enough money to move to Paris.” Lexie nodded firmly, a move which caused the world to spin a little. “Get away from the ex-boyfriends and dead moms and stupid blonde hair. Away from all of it.”
Mark hesitated. “Lex?” He looked at her. “How are you gonna save money if you quit your job?”
Lexie frowned, as if she hadn’t thought of that.
Mark chuckled softly as he suddenly found himself content to just sit and...stare at the woman.
The woman he used to call his girlfriend. The woman he used to spend countless nights making love to...or having sex with...or fucking until they both had to stop for fear of killing each other.
Mark shifted on his stool uncomfortably when he felt a sudden and familiar tightening in his jeans.
Lexie was too preoccupied to notice Mark’s stare.
“When did life decide to turn out this way?” She had gone from angry/hyper drunk to sad drunk in about ten seconds flat. A tear slipped involuntarily from her eye and she reached up to swipe at it. “My mom died, George died, I screwed things up with you and now I can’t even do my job right anymore.”
Her lower lip quivered as more tears fell. “I feel like I’m drowning and I can’t breathe.”
Even through his alcohol induced haze, Mark could still feel the hard tug at his heart. He hated when girls cried.
Especially this girl.
“Hey now,” the surgeon called softly as he scooted closer to his ex. He reached up to place his hand gently on her cheek to brush away the steady stream of tears with a swipe of his thumb. “You didn't screw things up with me. I'm the idiot that let you go without a fight.” He was quiet as he just stared back into Lexie's soft brown eyes. “I can't believe I did that,” he added after a moment.
Lexie stared longingly back at him. “I missed you,” she whispered. “Every day. I’m not allowed to tell you that, but since I’m drunk I kind of don’t care.”
She wanted to babble on about how having sex with Alex was just something to try and make her stop thinking about how much she missed Mark, but even her drunken brain was smart enough not to say the other guy’s name out loud.
Especially since he was an ass.
Lexie gazed into Mark’s eyes. “I still miss you.”
Mark continued to stare silently back at her. He slowly dropped his hand away from her cheek before leaning in just a bit closer towards the sweet, intoxicating scent of her-
Mark jerked a little as his eyes shifted up to Lexie's dark curls. “You dyed your hair,” he said with a small smirk. “Again.” He spent a few silent seconds just gazing at the woman's dark brown locks. “If it matters, I think you're way sexier as a brunette.”
That was the first nice thing someone had said to her all day. Literally.
And maybe it was because of that, or maybe it was just because it was Mark and she loved him.
Maybe it was because of the hair, and she was braver as a brunette.
But Lexie leaned in and kissed him.
Her right hand automatically rested against his neck and she sighed into the contact.
Mark jerked a little in surprise at the sudden, unexpected move.
But he wasn't gonna complain.
Sloan groaned a little into the kiss as he reached up with his right hand to place it on the back of Lexie's head. He pulled her lips a little harder against his own as he shifted on the barstool to try and get even closer to the warmth radiating from the resident.
He felt another sharp throb in his jeans.
Mark suddenly tore his lips away from the kiss with a harsh breath. “We can't,” he whispered with a slight cringe. “I...I can't,” he added as he dropped his hand away. He glanced down to his lap and then quickly back up again. He shifted a little on the stool.
Lexie’s face fell. “Oh.”
Mark felt bad for making her look so sad again. “We shouldn’t, Lex. It’s not…healthy.” Although, why that was, he didn’t exactly know. Sloane was gone, there was no baby...
Lexie nodded, looking crestfallen. “Okay. I get it.” She stroked her fingers against his neck one more time before pulling her hand back. “Sorry.” The disappointment on her face was plain.
Mark sighed as he watched the woman slowly withdraw back onto her own barstool.
Fuck it.
Mark suddenly reached out just as Lexie had settled into her own space. She was roughly jerked back to the right by a firm, yet still gentle hand on her elbow.
Sloan leaned in to place his lips right next to the resident's ear. “Come home with me,” he whispered huskily. “I'll make you forget all about how much your life sucks.” He paused as he felt another sharp twinge between his legs. “Then you can be the only thing that...sucks.”
Any other woman might have canned Mark, thrown a drink in his face and walked away.
But Lexie Grey giggled at his pervy little joke.
That was one of the reasons he loved her so much.
Staring at him for a second, Lexie bit her lower lip and finally slid off the stool. “I like forgetting.” The sexy smile she sent him was remnant of the old Lexie. The one before the breakup and the hair-dying and the sad-sex with Alex.
She took his hand and nodded toward the door.
Mark finished his drink, slid off of his stool, and followed her with a determined swagger in his step.
---
Chapter 5 (Part Two)/36
Authors: Faith kennedysbitch & Kye
Pairing: Callie/Arizona, Mark/Lexie
Rating: NC-17
Story Summary: Sequel to Choices. Callie and Arizona make the decision to move forward with their lives, but when a gradual series of events begin to snowball, Arizona tries desperately not to lose her grip on reality.
Chapter Summary: When push comes to shove, Arizona finally snaps.
Disclaimer:All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.
Previous Chapters
A/N: I am an update machine! For the first time ever. Seriously. Mostly because I want to get this entire thing posted and out of my hair sooner rather than later, as I've got another big fic on the go that needs my attention. I'll keep aiming to post 2, sometimes 3 updates a week, mostly on Mondays and Wednesdays. The whole thing is already written, which makes this 1000 times easier.
Thanks to those who keep reading and commenting, we both appreciate reading your feedback. :) Enjoy!
---
Arizona sighed to herself as she flicked off the bathroom light and stepped back into the bedroom.
Callie looked up from the magazine in her lap at the sound of footsteps approaching the bed. “You didn't have to be so mean to him,” she started softly as she met blue eyes. “He's just a little excited at the possibility of being a Daddy.”
Arizona bristled at Callie’s choice of words. “Funny, I thought he was the donor, not the dad,” she answered stiffly, sitting on the edge of the bed with her back to Callie and slowly pulling off her socks.
Somehow, she’d known that it would turn out this way when she agreed to let Mark be the ‘donor’. But she’d do anything to make Callie happy, including letting Sloan father their child.
Or…Callie and Mark’s child, as it was turning out to be. Her heart tightened in her chest at just the thought.
“He was pressuring you into it. He didn’t have the right to.” Arizona pulled off her other sock and tossed them both onto the floor, but didn’t turn around just yet.
Callie instantly noticed the tension in her girlfriend's back. “I didn't mean it like that. He is just the donor.” She sighed as she pulled the magazine from her lap to toss it carelessly onto the floor next to the bed. She hesitated for a moment as her dark eyes gauged her lover's mood.
The tension spoke for itself.
Callie really wasn't up for another fight right now, but...she wasn't just going to give in, either.
“You have to look at it from his point of view,” she offered after a beat of silence.
Arizona still didn’t turn to face her.
“He knows he's just technically the donor, but on the other hand, this baby will be a part of him.” She paused for a moment. “He's already lost his own daughter and probably his only grandson.”
“Then maybe he’s not in the best position to be doing this,” Arizona replied, unable to bite her tongue any longer. She turned to look at Callie, her expression still a bit guarded. “I’m sorry about Sloane-Sloan and her baby, I really am. It sucks for him. Which is why I honestly don’t think he can just sit back and not be a father if he’s the donor for us.”
She sighed heavily and turned back to stare at the wall. “And in some ways, I can’t really blame him for it. Watching a kid that’s biologically yours growing up with someone else as the parents literally right across the hall? It’s not gonna be any easier on him. I’ve been short with him because I can already see that he’s going into ‘dad’ mode, when it’s not his place.”
Arizona hesitated again, but ended up saying what she had to say anyway.
If they really were only a day or two away…she couldn’t hold her peace until after it was too late.
“I agreed to have a baby with you, Callie. Not you and Mark.”
Callie's eyes widened. “What?” She hesitated, confusion clearly written across her face. “I know that,” she finally replied slowly. “Don’t you think I know that?”
Arizona still had her back turned.
Callie sighed in frustration. “Arizona, would you just look at me? I refuse to have this fight with you if you won't even look at me.”
Arizona closed her eyes for a second. She didn’t want to fight, she didn’t. This was supposed to be a happy time for them, not cause for another argument.
But it looked like it was turning out to be one anyway.
Of course.
She opened her eyes and turned around, pulling her legs up onto the bed beneath her, but stayed right where she was. “Look, Mark’s a good guy. We fight and he irritates the hell out of me when he pulls out his attitude, but I like him. Sometimes. Sort of. I’m just...not sure that he could handle being nothing more than your friend and the baby’s ‘uncle’.” She paused. “And I know I can’t handle him trying to be a father. I won’t be a third party in our child’s life, Calliope. I won’t.”
Callie's brow furrowed even deeper. “I'd never expect you to be.” She paused to take in an uneasy breath. “I'd never want you to be.” She pushed the sheets back a little as she moved to scoot just a bit closer towards the blonde. “This will be our baby, Arizona. Yours and mine.”
Arizona sighed in frustration. “Yeah. I heard you the first time.”
Callie jerked a little at the unexpected response. “What the hell's that supposed to mean?”
Arizona finally lost it.
“Are you blind?!” she suddenly shouted, the outburst a lot angrier than intended as she rounded on Callie. “He’s talking about names! A-and college funds! And he bought you a fricking crib, Calliope! I wasn’t even supposed to tell you about it, but god damn it, Callie, that’s my job!” Her fist smacked down hard against the covers. She was shaking, angry tears burning behind her eyes.
She really felt she had every right to be upset. Mark and Callie were best friends and he was making it clear as day that he had every intention of being the father to their baby.
Whether or not Callie saw it, Arizona knew she didn’t fit well into that equation.
A tense silence passed between them, and Arizona swallowed back, trying to rein her temper back in, her voice shaking. “I’m telling you, Mark can’t handle fathering a child and not being the father. And that’s not fair to either of us.”
Callie was quiet for a long moment as she let her girlfriend's words hang in the air between them. “Fine,” she finally replied in a soft, but stern voice. “You don't want him to be the father...I mean the donor, then...” She paused for a moment as she felt the muscle in her jaw tick. “Fine,” she finished with a slight growl.
Brown eyes hardened a little as they stared back into a deeper than usual shade of blue.
“Would you like to pick which stranger is going to be the donor for our baby?” Callie added with a sharp glare. “And when our kid grows up and wants to know his or her father, then you can be the one to tell him or her that we have no frikken' idea.”
“He or she is going to have two loving parents,” Arizona snapped back. “There’s absolutely no reason that the donor has to be anything other than just that, a donor.”
“Are you just pissed off because it can’t be you?” Callie fired off without thinking.
She was defensive, and when she got defensive, she fought dirty. But she hated fighting dirty with Arizona, especially when she could immediately see the hurt behind those beautiful blue eyes of hers.
Arizona recoiled, the words stinging more than she’d like to admit. “If I could physically make a baby with you, we wouldn’t be having this conversation,” she pointed out harshly. “But I can’t. I’m not hung up over it. All that matters to me is that I love you and our baby, whether or not I’m a biological parent.”
“But you won’t love it if it’s Mark’s?” Callie asked, staring Arizona down.
The blonde sighed heavily. “That’s not what I’m saying.” She ran a hand back through her hair. “We’re going in circles here.” Her fingers tightened around blonde strands. She looked truly pained as she tried to figure out how in the hell to get Callie to see why this wasn’t working.
“If Mark steps in as a father, then I...I don’t have a place in any of this, Callie. None. And I won’t...I can’t...” Arizona’s voice cracked and she looked away.
Taken back, Callie felt a little bit of her own anger begin to dissipate. She dropped her gaze away from her girlfriend to focus on the blanket as she began to pick at a loose thread. “The last thing in the world I want is for you to feel left out.” She cautiously glanced up at the blonde, but quickly averted her eyes back to the comforter. “I really want this to be our baby, Zona. In every way that's possible.” She sighed softly. “Physical or otherwise.”
She did have to admit that it was kind of...awkward.
If the positions were reversed, she wasn't even sure how she'd feel about it, either. Having Arizona's best friend, with whom she, briefly, had a sexual relationship with, to be the baby's...donor/father or whatever...it wouldn't exactly be high up on her 'happy times' list, either.
Callie loved Mark. And she knew he was getting a little more...involved than they had originally planned for him to be. But, for her, she was the one physically having the baby, so it hadn’t bothered her as much. She would always have that connection to their child, always. But Arizona? If she thought Mark was stepping into the place that was supposed to be rightfully hers...
Yeah. She was starting to understand just a little bit better now.
And she felt like an ass.
“God, Arizona,” Callie sighed again as she finally looked away from the blanket to glance up and meet hurt blue eyes. “Baby, I'm so sorry.” She paused to release a tense breath. “I’m an insensitive idiot, a-and I’m...I’m sorry.”
Arizona shook her head. “You’re not an insensitive idiot,” she said quietly. She shuffled a little closer so she could reach out to grasp her girlfriend’s hand, taking in a steadying breath. “This is just…hard for me. I know it’s a little selfish, but…I’m having a really hard time being okay with it being Mark. And I’m sorry, because I really want to give you what you want, but…”
The soft hand squeeze was returned. “What I want,” Callie began with a gentle, disbelieving smile, “is for us to have a baby to love and nurture and spoil rotten. Together.”
Arizona laughed a little at that.
Callie kept her smile as she swallowed thickly. She gave the hand in hers another gentle tug. “What I want,” she repeated, “is for us to be happy and in love for the rest of our lives.”
Arizona managed a weak grin.
“But what I want the most?” Callie reached out to place her free hand on the blonde's knee. “Is for you to be happy and comfortable with who we choose to give us this baby.” She squeezed the knee beneath her palm. “I want you to be the only other parental figure in this child's life.” She quirked a little half-smirk. “We can even have him or her call you 'Daddy', if you want.”
Arizona grinned a little at that. “Not so sure about the ‘daddy’ part, but I like the rest of what you’re saying.” She shuffled closer, until she was sitting right next to her lover. Placing a hand against Callie’s stomach, she leaned in to kiss her softly. “I promise you, we’ll be ready by next month. I want this to happen just as badly as you do.”
“Before you start going grey would be nice,” Callie replied with a smirk.
Arizona pouted that famous pout of hers. “Now that’s just mean.”
Callie chuckled before leaning in to softly kiss that pout away, then tugged her partner into a hug. “We’ll figure this out, honey. We'll figure this out.”
Arizona sighed and buried her nose into the crook of Callie's neck, relief flooding through her as the tension she'd been carrying around for weeks finally left her body. "I know. We always do."
***
“Can you believe that?” Lexie Grey shouted a little drunkenly as she slapped her hand down onto the bar. “The patient flatlines when I'm nowhere in the room and I still get blamed!”
Joe looked at the resident with wide eyes while he poured her another beer.
“I mean seriously! Why me? Alex is the ass who was supposed to be watching him, but he’s too busy being a stupid...ass because I stopped giving him the sex. Because he’s a jerk and he drinks too much.” Her eyes narrowed at the bartender. “And it was good sex, Joe. Really good sex.”
She tipped back her head and drown in the rest of her sixth beer.
Helluva day.
Slamming it on the counter, she moaned and dropped her head against the surface as well. “I hate my job. My job sucks.”
“At least it's your job and not your life that sucks,” a deep, familiar voice rang out from behind her.
Lexie lifted her head from the bar to glance over with bleary eyes. Her brow furrowed as she leaned towards the blurry figure. “Mark?” she said a little too loudly. “That you?”
“The one and, unfortunately, only,” Mark replied as he tipped back his own drink. He drained the contents before dropping it back onto the bar and sliding into a stool. “Joe,” he called with a wave of his hand. “Another one.”
Lexie leaned even closer to her ex-boyfriend. “Mark,” she repeated loudly. “How long have you been sitting there?”
Mark recoiled a little, squinting at Lexie. “Why are you yelling?”
“I’m not!” Lexie shouted just as loud as before.
Mark literally put his hand over her mouth. “Shh. Inside voice, Lex.”
Lexie nodded once, then grabbed for her empty beer glass and turned away from him. “Another one.”
Joe shook his head. “I’m cutting you off, Dr. Grey.”
Lexie pouted. “I don’t work tomorrow. I can get drunk if I want to.” She turned on her stool to look at Mark. “Why are you drunk? Your life doesn’t suck. You’re having sex with a cardio God and making babies with lesbians. Your life rocks compared to mine.”
She belched.
Mark sighed heavily as he pushed himself a little back and away from the resident. “I'm not so much with either of those things at the moment.” He turned his attention back to his empty beer bottle. “Teddy hasn't called me in weeks, and Callie's blonde little...bitch of a girlfriend has had my balls in a vice grip ever since this whole 'baby-daddy' thing started.”
Lexie's brow furrowed and she slowly dropped her gaze down to Mark's lap. “Doesn't that hurt?”
Mark blinked as he slowly turned to look at her. He smirked through his buzz. “You're really drunk, huh?”
Lexie grunted and folded her arms against the bar before dropping her head onto them. “Yeah. I don’t drink very often these days, but I’ve decided to quit my job and move to Paris, so I figured I should have a few first. For courage.”
Mark froze with his beer halfway to his lips. “You what?”
“First I’m gonna quit my job. Then I’m gonna save up enough money to move to Paris.” Lexie nodded firmly, a move which caused the world to spin a little. “Get away from the ex-boyfriends and dead moms and stupid blonde hair. Away from all of it.”
Mark hesitated. “Lex?” He looked at her. “How are you gonna save money if you quit your job?”
Lexie frowned, as if she hadn’t thought of that.
Mark chuckled softly as he suddenly found himself content to just sit and...stare at the woman.
The woman he used to call his girlfriend. The woman he used to spend countless nights making love to...or having sex with...or fucking until they both had to stop for fear of killing each other.
Mark shifted on his stool uncomfortably when he felt a sudden and familiar tightening in his jeans.
Lexie was too preoccupied to notice Mark’s stare.
“When did life decide to turn out this way?” She had gone from angry/hyper drunk to sad drunk in about ten seconds flat. A tear slipped involuntarily from her eye and she reached up to swipe at it. “My mom died, George died, I screwed things up with you and now I can’t even do my job right anymore.”
Her lower lip quivered as more tears fell. “I feel like I’m drowning and I can’t breathe.”
Even through his alcohol induced haze, Mark could still feel the hard tug at his heart. He hated when girls cried.
Especially this girl.
“Hey now,” the surgeon called softly as he scooted closer to his ex. He reached up to place his hand gently on her cheek to brush away the steady stream of tears with a swipe of his thumb. “You didn't screw things up with me. I'm the idiot that let you go without a fight.” He was quiet as he just stared back into Lexie's soft brown eyes. “I can't believe I did that,” he added after a moment.
Lexie stared longingly back at him. “I missed you,” she whispered. “Every day. I’m not allowed to tell you that, but since I’m drunk I kind of don’t care.”
She wanted to babble on about how having sex with Alex was just something to try and make her stop thinking about how much she missed Mark, but even her drunken brain was smart enough not to say the other guy’s name out loud.
Especially since he was an ass.
Lexie gazed into Mark’s eyes. “I still miss you.”
Mark continued to stare silently back at her. He slowly dropped his hand away from her cheek before leaning in just a bit closer towards the sweet, intoxicating scent of her-
Mark jerked a little as his eyes shifted up to Lexie's dark curls. “You dyed your hair,” he said with a small smirk. “Again.” He spent a few silent seconds just gazing at the woman's dark brown locks. “If it matters, I think you're way sexier as a brunette.”
That was the first nice thing someone had said to her all day. Literally.
And maybe it was because of that, or maybe it was just because it was Mark and she loved him.
Maybe it was because of the hair, and she was braver as a brunette.
But Lexie leaned in and kissed him.
Her right hand automatically rested against his neck and she sighed into the contact.
Mark jerked a little in surprise at the sudden, unexpected move.
But he wasn't gonna complain.
Sloan groaned a little into the kiss as he reached up with his right hand to place it on the back of Lexie's head. He pulled her lips a little harder against his own as he shifted on the barstool to try and get even closer to the warmth radiating from the resident.
He felt another sharp throb in his jeans.
Mark suddenly tore his lips away from the kiss with a harsh breath. “We can't,” he whispered with a slight cringe. “I...I can't,” he added as he dropped his hand away. He glanced down to his lap and then quickly back up again. He shifted a little on the stool.
Lexie’s face fell. “Oh.”
Mark felt bad for making her look so sad again. “We shouldn’t, Lex. It’s not…healthy.” Although, why that was, he didn’t exactly know. Sloane was gone, there was no baby...
Lexie nodded, looking crestfallen. “Okay. I get it.” She stroked her fingers against his neck one more time before pulling her hand back. “Sorry.” The disappointment on her face was plain.
Mark sighed as he watched the woman slowly withdraw back onto her own barstool.
Fuck it.
Mark suddenly reached out just as Lexie had settled into her own space. She was roughly jerked back to the right by a firm, yet still gentle hand on her elbow.
Sloan leaned in to place his lips right next to the resident's ear. “Come home with me,” he whispered huskily. “I'll make you forget all about how much your life sucks.” He paused as he felt another sharp twinge between his legs. “Then you can be the only thing that...sucks.”
Any other woman might have canned Mark, thrown a drink in his face and walked away.
But Lexie Grey giggled at his pervy little joke.
That was one of the reasons he loved her so much.
Staring at him for a second, Lexie bit her lower lip and finally slid off the stool. “I like forgetting.” The sexy smile she sent him was remnant of the old Lexie. The one before the breakup and the hair-dying and the sad-sex with Alex.
She took his hand and nodded toward the door.
Mark finished his drink, slid off of his stool, and followed her with a determined swagger in his step.
---