ficlet for a barely started wip
Umm... >___< idek
Details: Kris, Tao, Chanyeol; Baekhyun POV; PG.
Notes: Juvenile correction facility / rehabilitation centre AU. Each member has their vice. For example Kris has delusions he can fly and he is under strict orders to never be allowed near high ledges. Baekhyun and Jongdae are the newest additions to the house, and one day after some bumming around they forget to lock the door to the roof.
This is one part of a much longer story, but I had to get it out. I don't know if it will appear like this in the actual fic, but the feeling will be the same.
By the time they make it up there, the scene is already in still-frame, like a paused movie scene. The characters arranged in an obtuse triangle, two points edging towards the third, which remains static, his arms out and his face raised towards the world above. Real life is buzzing twelve storeys under his feet and Kris stands on the raised outcropping bordering the rooftop, his eyes lit up in a way that Baekhyun has never seen before. He's not exactly smiling, but there's a trace of eagerness that curls his mouth, like he can't wait for what comes next. It's alarmingly picturesque. Is this even real? The wind blows through Kris' hair, ruffling his loose white shirt; the cloth ripples like pond water across his broad back and for an instant, with him framed by the endless blue sky, Baekhyun catches himself thinking: what if they're wrong, all of them? What if Kris really can fly? Then he thinks, Fuck. It's got to him too.
As Zitao approaches the ledge, he calls Kris' name, his voice surprisingly steady considering how terrified he looks. His expression is one of a man seeing all his worst nightmares come to life. He probably is. He's not within touching distance of Kris yet. He's walking closer on the tips of his feet, entire body tense, like he's approaching a wild animal. Chanyeol is moving in from the right, Kris' other side, but at a more stilted pace. His eyes keep flickering back from Zitao and Kris, as if he's unsure who needs to track more. Zitao never takes his attention off Kris.
"Ge," he says.
"Don't try to stop me," Kris replies. He doesn't turn around. He shifts a bit on his legs, weighing some unknown options, testing the wind. Zitao's face twists. Chanyeol bites his lip, hand raising in alarm but Zitao turns quickly to glare at him, waving madly at him to lower it. Chanyeol frowns, but does.
"Don't be stupid," Zitao tries again. "I'm not trying to stop you. But-but I really want your help with something. Like, right now. It's really important, and I really need you. Come help me, okay? We can come back up here later."
Kris' laugh is more of a scoff. "You shouldn't lie to me, Tao. I can see through you. You're trying to get me to go back downstairs."
"I am not."
"You are. You're just like the doctors here. I know you don't think I can fly." His tone is flat, disappointed.
"I do," Zitao says, and his voice isn't so steady anymore. "I do, Kris."
"I told you to stop lying," Kris demands. "You don't believe me, but it's all right. I can show you." He takes a centimetre of a step forward-Jongdae makes this reactionary sound, like a squeak caught and stamped down.
"No!" Chanyeol shouts. "Kris, stop."
Kris stops. His toes hang in the air. He turns back, a little. "Chanyeol, you too?"
"Of course," says Chanyeol. He holds out a hand. "You've got to come down, Kris. Stop playing."
Kris turns away. "I'm not playing, I just-" he sighs, rolling a shoulder. "You just get so sick of staying on the ground all the time, you know?" And fuck if he doesn't sound like a lost little boy. Something pulls hard, in Baekhyun's chest, and doesn't let up.
"Yeah, I totally do," says Chanyeol. Calm. Almost pleasant. Meanwhile his eyes are roving wildly behind his glasses, desperate to find the nearest exit strategy. He gestures to Zitao to move in closer.
"I don't like it. I feel really heavy, all the time, and it's so fucking annoying."
"Dude, you know that's just the food here," Chanyeol says. "We can change that. Ask for a detox diet or something. It'll be gross, but maybe it'll give us smoother shits."
Kris laughs softly, more genuinely this time. "I don't think it's going to help, Chanyeol."
"Then what will? Let's figure out, and we'll do that, whatever you want. Okay?"
Kris is silent. By now, Zitao is right behind him, and he slowly extends a hand, wrapping shaking fingers around Kris' wrist loosely at first, then tighter. Kris sways, pitching forward-Baekhyun feels panic choke through him-before leaning back. His feet don't move of the ledge.
"Let me go," he says, finally looking down at Tao.
"No," says Zitao.
"Tao."
"I said no." In a flash of movement, Zitao's wrapped his arms around Kris' waist, his face buried into the centre of Kris' back. "If you're going, you're taking me with you," Baekhyun hears him say, his voice muffled by Kris' shirt, but not enough to mask the degree it's quaking.
"I'm not taking you with me," Kris says sharply. "You can't fly."
"I don't care," whines Tao. "I'll learn."
"You can't just learn." Kris' voice softens. "Tao, let go, I promise I'll be okay. It's so easy. I can do it. I'll show you, I'll show everyone that-"
"Please," Zitao says, interrupting. It sounds like he's crying. "Please don't go. Please, please, please."
Kris stops talking. Zitao slurs on, words melding together into a constant stream of begging.
"Don't go, I don't want you to go, please, please, I'm sorry, I just want you to be safe, I'm scared, I don't want you to go. You'll fly away and never come back."
"I won't go," says Kris gently. "I'll be right here. I won't go far."
"You will," Tao moans, pressing himself closer to Kris. "You'll leave us just like you did before, except this time you won't ever come back. Everything will be bad. You'll disappear and I'll wake up and you won't be there and it'll-it'll-I'll-" he swallows, shivering noticeably. There's no wind anymore. Kris remains as stiff as board, staring out into the horizon. Baekhyun can see his eyes close. Zitao sniffs loudly into his back.
For a drawn out moment, there's not even any sounds of traffic from below. Into the empty air, Kris says, "I'm sorry." Resigned. Decision made.
"Shit." Baekhyun's body snaps into a run, arms stretched out to grab at Tao, at anything-just as he sees Chanyeol do the same, eyes going spotlight round-but Kris is turning around, stepping off the ledge, letting himself ease fully into Tao's tremulous embrace. Baekhyun stops, slammed dizzy with relief.
Zitao immediately clings to Kris, shoving his face into the curve of Kris' neck. His shoulders are heaving. As Baekhyun watches, Kris' arms slowly rise up too, to slide around Tao's back, hands carefully pressing down as if Zitao is the one who might disappear within the space of a second. His expression is conflicted, maybe a little confused, as if he's unsure of what he's doing and how he got there. But then he looks at Zitao, sobbing against him, and something in his face breaks, melts, then rests like that, like acceptance. Like he's gained some level of peace within himself.
Kris hooks his chin on top of Zitao's head, brow furrowing for half a second before smoothing out. He peeks at Chanyeol, hovering near them, practically vibrating as he jostles from foot to foot. Kris holds out one arm and Chanyeol practically throws himself into it, arms going around Kris and Tao, smothering the both of them. His face ducks into the other side of Kris' neck; Baekhyun abruptly feels like he should look away. But he doesn't.
This scene would be the happy ending of the movie. The soundtrack would be rising, sweeping into a majestic violin crescendo, while the camera pans up into the clear blue sky and into the beaming sunlight.
But here, there's no ending, there's no epilogue. They have to go back downstairs with the knowledge that they'd almost lost Kris to his delusions. Baekhyun and Jongdae will be given punishment for leaving the roof door unlocked. Chanyeol will add another notch on his belt against Baekhyun. Tao might never forgive them. Kris-Kris doesn't look sad right now, but he doesn't look exactly happy either. He's wearing the face of a man who just gave up something big for the greater good. Baekhyun doesn't doubt how much Chanyeol and Tao mean to him, just as he doesn't doubt what it must have cost Kris, to come down from that ledge.
From across the roof, Kris catches Baekhyun's gaze. Baekhyun tenses. He doesn't know what his expression is showing, but Kris only smiles a little, and nods.
It's far from approval or thanks. Just a tiny acknowledgement: hey, there you are, guess I'm still here, too. But for the first time since coming back onto the roof, with his heart jammed in his throat and his lungs tight with guilt, Baekhyun feels like he can breathe.
Details: Kris, Tao, Chanyeol; Baekhyun POV; PG.
Notes: Juvenile correction facility / rehabilitation centre AU. Each member has their vice. For example Kris has delusions he can fly and he is under strict orders to never be allowed near high ledges. Baekhyun and Jongdae are the newest additions to the house, and one day after some bumming around they forget to lock the door to the roof.
This is one part of a much longer story, but I had to get it out. I don't know if it will appear like this in the actual fic, but the feeling will be the same.
By the time they make it up there, the scene is already in still-frame, like a paused movie scene. The characters arranged in an obtuse triangle, two points edging towards the third, which remains static, his arms out and his face raised towards the world above. Real life is buzzing twelve storeys under his feet and Kris stands on the raised outcropping bordering the rooftop, his eyes lit up in a way that Baekhyun has never seen before. He's not exactly smiling, but there's a trace of eagerness that curls his mouth, like he can't wait for what comes next. It's alarmingly picturesque. Is this even real? The wind blows through Kris' hair, ruffling his loose white shirt; the cloth ripples like pond water across his broad back and for an instant, with him framed by the endless blue sky, Baekhyun catches himself thinking: what if they're wrong, all of them? What if Kris really can fly? Then he thinks, Fuck. It's got to him too.
As Zitao approaches the ledge, he calls Kris' name, his voice surprisingly steady considering how terrified he looks. His expression is one of a man seeing all his worst nightmares come to life. He probably is. He's not within touching distance of Kris yet. He's walking closer on the tips of his feet, entire body tense, like he's approaching a wild animal. Chanyeol is moving in from the right, Kris' other side, but at a more stilted pace. His eyes keep flickering back from Zitao and Kris, as if he's unsure who needs to track more. Zitao never takes his attention off Kris.
"Ge," he says.
"Don't try to stop me," Kris replies. He doesn't turn around. He shifts a bit on his legs, weighing some unknown options, testing the wind. Zitao's face twists. Chanyeol bites his lip, hand raising in alarm but Zitao turns quickly to glare at him, waving madly at him to lower it. Chanyeol frowns, but does.
"Don't be stupid," Zitao tries again. "I'm not trying to stop you. But-but I really want your help with something. Like, right now. It's really important, and I really need you. Come help me, okay? We can come back up here later."
Kris' laugh is more of a scoff. "You shouldn't lie to me, Tao. I can see through you. You're trying to get me to go back downstairs."
"I am not."
"You are. You're just like the doctors here. I know you don't think I can fly." His tone is flat, disappointed.
"I do," Zitao says, and his voice isn't so steady anymore. "I do, Kris."
"I told you to stop lying," Kris demands. "You don't believe me, but it's all right. I can show you." He takes a centimetre of a step forward-Jongdae makes this reactionary sound, like a squeak caught and stamped down.
"No!" Chanyeol shouts. "Kris, stop."
Kris stops. His toes hang in the air. He turns back, a little. "Chanyeol, you too?"
"Of course," says Chanyeol. He holds out a hand. "You've got to come down, Kris. Stop playing."
Kris turns away. "I'm not playing, I just-" he sighs, rolling a shoulder. "You just get so sick of staying on the ground all the time, you know?" And fuck if he doesn't sound like a lost little boy. Something pulls hard, in Baekhyun's chest, and doesn't let up.
"Yeah, I totally do," says Chanyeol. Calm. Almost pleasant. Meanwhile his eyes are roving wildly behind his glasses, desperate to find the nearest exit strategy. He gestures to Zitao to move in closer.
"I don't like it. I feel really heavy, all the time, and it's so fucking annoying."
"Dude, you know that's just the food here," Chanyeol says. "We can change that. Ask for a detox diet or something. It'll be gross, but maybe it'll give us smoother shits."
Kris laughs softly, more genuinely this time. "I don't think it's going to help, Chanyeol."
"Then what will? Let's figure out, and we'll do that, whatever you want. Okay?"
Kris is silent. By now, Zitao is right behind him, and he slowly extends a hand, wrapping shaking fingers around Kris' wrist loosely at first, then tighter. Kris sways, pitching forward-Baekhyun feels panic choke through him-before leaning back. His feet don't move of the ledge.
"Let me go," he says, finally looking down at Tao.
"No," says Zitao.
"Tao."
"I said no." In a flash of movement, Zitao's wrapped his arms around Kris' waist, his face buried into the centre of Kris' back. "If you're going, you're taking me with you," Baekhyun hears him say, his voice muffled by Kris' shirt, but not enough to mask the degree it's quaking.
"I'm not taking you with me," Kris says sharply. "You can't fly."
"I don't care," whines Tao. "I'll learn."
"You can't just learn." Kris' voice softens. "Tao, let go, I promise I'll be okay. It's so easy. I can do it. I'll show you, I'll show everyone that-"
"Please," Zitao says, interrupting. It sounds like he's crying. "Please don't go. Please, please, please."
Kris stops talking. Zitao slurs on, words melding together into a constant stream of begging.
"Don't go, I don't want you to go, please, please, I'm sorry, I just want you to be safe, I'm scared, I don't want you to go. You'll fly away and never come back."
"I won't go," says Kris gently. "I'll be right here. I won't go far."
"You will," Tao moans, pressing himself closer to Kris. "You'll leave us just like you did before, except this time you won't ever come back. Everything will be bad. You'll disappear and I'll wake up and you won't be there and it'll-it'll-I'll-" he swallows, shivering noticeably. There's no wind anymore. Kris remains as stiff as board, staring out into the horizon. Baekhyun can see his eyes close. Zitao sniffs loudly into his back.
For a drawn out moment, there's not even any sounds of traffic from below. Into the empty air, Kris says, "I'm sorry." Resigned. Decision made.
"Shit." Baekhyun's body snaps into a run, arms stretched out to grab at Tao, at anything-just as he sees Chanyeol do the same, eyes going spotlight round-but Kris is turning around, stepping off the ledge, letting himself ease fully into Tao's tremulous embrace. Baekhyun stops, slammed dizzy with relief.
Zitao immediately clings to Kris, shoving his face into the curve of Kris' neck. His shoulders are heaving. As Baekhyun watches, Kris' arms slowly rise up too, to slide around Tao's back, hands carefully pressing down as if Zitao is the one who might disappear within the space of a second. His expression is conflicted, maybe a little confused, as if he's unsure of what he's doing and how he got there. But then he looks at Zitao, sobbing against him, and something in his face breaks, melts, then rests like that, like acceptance. Like he's gained some level of peace within himself.
Kris hooks his chin on top of Zitao's head, brow furrowing for half a second before smoothing out. He peeks at Chanyeol, hovering near them, practically vibrating as he jostles from foot to foot. Kris holds out one arm and Chanyeol practically throws himself into it, arms going around Kris and Tao, smothering the both of them. His face ducks into the other side of Kris' neck; Baekhyun abruptly feels like he should look away. But he doesn't.
This scene would be the happy ending of the movie. The soundtrack would be rising, sweeping into a majestic violin crescendo, while the camera pans up into the clear blue sky and into the beaming sunlight.
But here, there's no ending, there's no epilogue. They have to go back downstairs with the knowledge that they'd almost lost Kris to his delusions. Baekhyun and Jongdae will be given punishment for leaving the roof door unlocked. Chanyeol will add another notch on his belt against Baekhyun. Tao might never forgive them. Kris-Kris doesn't look sad right now, but he doesn't look exactly happy either. He's wearing the face of a man who just gave up something big for the greater good. Baekhyun doesn't doubt how much Chanyeol and Tao mean to him, just as he doesn't doubt what it must have cost Kris, to come down from that ledge.
From across the roof, Kris catches Baekhyun's gaze. Baekhyun tenses. He doesn't know what his expression is showing, but Kris only smiles a little, and nods.
It's far from approval or thanks. Just a tiny acknowledgement: hey, there you are, guess I'm still here, too. But for the first time since coming back onto the roof, with his heart jammed in his throat and his lungs tight with guilt, Baekhyun feels like he can breathe.