(no subject)
everything is so shitty lately.
i feel like things just keep getting worse, and its hard to look on the bright side like i try to.
i got strep throat randomly which was cool, had to sit home everyday by myself cause my mom went away and my dad and brother work.
i have been able to eat like 2-3 things, little things in 4 days, which makes me sick.
i feel like no one cares, like i normally feel just emphasized lately.
i feel like i have no friends, unless its a thursday and its paper then people im me asking me if im going.
i feel like i sit in my bed more than i do anything, wait..i do.its all i even wanna do lately cause i feel that miserable.
its one thing to say to me "hey we need to make plans" or "i miss you". those words dont mean much when you dont follow through with anything.
i tried, im over it.i gave my effort in trying to hang out with friends and seem to get shut down everytime, and that makes me feel even worse so i gave up hoping they would try.very little effort has been made.i realize all my friends have 10x more going for them than i do, and 10x more of a life; but theres always time for friends, espeically when they feel so low...
i miss when everyone was close, when we all did stuff together all the time, when i was close to happy..when summers were fun.
well, thats loooooooong gone.
and the only person i have left that i feel cares even a little is leaving in a few months, so then im left with no one.and i feel like thats all i hear about.
cool.
and to top it all off, before i got sick i got a 40$ parking ticket in a place i didnt even park, i have to pay that.
i need money for a halloween costume, and most likely to fix my muffler.
and to buy christmas presents.
that means, all the money i have saved up to get the fuck out of here and save what sanity i have left and maybe have a chance of being happy and at a place i need/want to be is gone.
its honestly going to take me years to be able to get out of here and that makes me that much more depressed.
and all cause of my mind, fuck being mentally unstable and sick, fuck ssi and it taking forever to even get started.
fuck shitty weather which makes me feel worse.
UGHHH.
thats the end of my rant, wah wah wah.
i need olive garden and/or outback and someone to pay for it for me.
please&thanks.