Running in circles
Okay, so it has been awhile since I have been able to do much of anything on the computer that didn't invovle summer classes. But now things are "slowing" down and I have a bit more time to catch up with the stuff I have seemed to of neglected. First stop...updating my friends who don't get to keep in contact with me while I am at camp.
The good news is that summer classes are over and I did fairly well in both my classes. I am just glad they are over. They were causing a lot of stress and a lot of late nights that were taking me away from staff bonding and being completely at camp. Now that that is out of the way I get to kick the other stuff in my mind out too so that I can fully be at camp.
The other night Marcus doodle invited me on a nice walk that forced me to get everything off my chest and make some decisions about my life. I have made the choice to only stick with the job at the shelter and go to school. I turned down the two other jobs I was offered. Phew...off my chest and out of my head! I went to the bank and got most of my money situation figured out. Phew...off of my chest! Whats left? Well I still need to decide what is happening after I graduate in March and what route I want to take to get to where I want to go. I still need to figure out the road trip situation in September which has become more frustrating than it has been fun. I need to decide if getting up and leaving Oregon is really what I need and if it is where do I go? These are all things that Marcus Doodle put out in the open for me and is making me take care of. He is so good at that and such a great friend.
I apologize to all my other friends out there that read this I know I haven't been the greatest at keeping in touch with you all but believe me you there is not a day that goes by that I do not think about you or hold you dear to my heart! I love each and everyone of you and miss you a lot.
I went upstairs today, to work on some stuff in my part of the bedroom and found Amber looking rather sad on her bed. I sat down to chat a bit and we had a pretty good heart to heart about camp and it being a home and a family that we hold very tightly and how saying goodbye is going to be really hard. Not just saying goodbye at the end of the summer but saying goodbye and not actually knowing if we will be back for another summer or if this is the end. The thought sends chills down my spine...this is me! Camp is me! I don't know what to do when I have to move on...away from this place, away from these people. I am really struggling with that thought!
Steven and I are doing better! We have sucked it up and are back to normal. It is hard for me because he seems to be gone a lot and I find myself getting frustrated with that and not knowing why I am frustrated. Maybe it is because I am not leaving, maybe because I don't have a place to go if I did leave, maybe it is because I miss him when he does leave. Who knows, I don't! All I know is I am blessed to have him as a part of my life.
Things with Amee and I are better. She is still being prego and getting things figured out. I am sad I can't be there for her more than I am. I feel like I kind of just up and left her to do things on her own when she really needs a lot of support. The Isaiah business is getting figured out..not as much as I would like it to be but it isn't my life and they arn't my feelings! I just keep praying for her and hoping everything will be okay and work out. I know that God is watching over her and only giving her what she can handle.
I think I am going to go lay out on the boat dock and watch people boat. That would be fun and relaxing!
Love and miss you all...I LIKE MAIL!!!
The good news is that summer classes are over and I did fairly well in both my classes. I am just glad they are over. They were causing a lot of stress and a lot of late nights that were taking me away from staff bonding and being completely at camp. Now that that is out of the way I get to kick the other stuff in my mind out too so that I can fully be at camp.
The other night Marcus doodle invited me on a nice walk that forced me to get everything off my chest and make some decisions about my life. I have made the choice to only stick with the job at the shelter and go to school. I turned down the two other jobs I was offered. Phew...off my chest and out of my head! I went to the bank and got most of my money situation figured out. Phew...off of my chest! Whats left? Well I still need to decide what is happening after I graduate in March and what route I want to take to get to where I want to go. I still need to figure out the road trip situation in September which has become more frustrating than it has been fun. I need to decide if getting up and leaving Oregon is really what I need and if it is where do I go? These are all things that Marcus Doodle put out in the open for me and is making me take care of. He is so good at that and such a great friend.
I apologize to all my other friends out there that read this I know I haven't been the greatest at keeping in touch with you all but believe me you there is not a day that goes by that I do not think about you or hold you dear to my heart! I love each and everyone of you and miss you a lot.
I went upstairs today, to work on some stuff in my part of the bedroom and found Amber looking rather sad on her bed. I sat down to chat a bit and we had a pretty good heart to heart about camp and it being a home and a family that we hold very tightly and how saying goodbye is going to be really hard. Not just saying goodbye at the end of the summer but saying goodbye and not actually knowing if we will be back for another summer or if this is the end. The thought sends chills down my spine...this is me! Camp is me! I don't know what to do when I have to move on...away from this place, away from these people. I am really struggling with that thought!
Steven and I are doing better! We have sucked it up and are back to normal. It is hard for me because he seems to be gone a lot and I find myself getting frustrated with that and not knowing why I am frustrated. Maybe it is because I am not leaving, maybe because I don't have a place to go if I did leave, maybe it is because I miss him when he does leave. Who knows, I don't! All I know is I am blessed to have him as a part of my life.
Things with Amee and I are better. She is still being prego and getting things figured out. I am sad I can't be there for her more than I am. I feel like I kind of just up and left her to do things on her own when she really needs a lot of support. The Isaiah business is getting figured out..not as much as I would like it to be but it isn't my life and they arn't my feelings! I just keep praying for her and hoping everything will be okay and work out. I know that God is watching over her and only giving her what she can handle.
I think I am going to go lay out on the boat dock and watch people boat. That would be fun and relaxing!
Love and miss you all...I LIKE MAIL!!!