PRIVATE
I'm back to confusion again, unfortunately. Today was like reopening a wound and pouring salt in it. I've just finished working through my problems and I'm with Ken now. So of course something bad has to happen.
Ken came to get me after school, like a good boyfriend should. *smirk* He really just wanted to make out. I let myself get talked into it. We started making out in the computer lab. Just when it was getting heavy, guess what happen? Someone walked in on us! And not just anyone, it was Koushiro! He found Ken and I up against a wall, kissing!
I didn't even realize it was him until I pulled away from Ken. He was blocking my view. All I heard was, "Ex-excuse me!" So I pulled away to see who it was and apologize. God, that was so stupid! I don't think he even knew who it was until we'd separated. Then his eyes got really big and he started stuttering. Not that I was any better. Ken was the only one that didn't seem to be bothered. That's nothing new, though.
Koushiro probably thinks I'm a slut now. A month ago I'm confessing my love for him and now he finds me with Ken. I think I just proved him right. That I would move on and it was just hormones or some crap like that. Except that's not true. I still do love him, in a way. But I think I might be falling for Ken. It's different and more...intense. Maybe it's just because he's there and he can see me for what I am. He doesn't care that I'm messed up. He lets me do what I want and doesn't chide me. I really appreciate that; being allowed to act like myself. No boundaries, no faking.
*sigh* I can't let this bother me. I can't won't let myself look back. I've already done too much to change my mind now. There's no going back now, I've passed the point of no return.
Ken came to get me after school, like a good boyfriend should. *smirk* He really just wanted to make out. I let myself get talked into it. We started making out in the computer lab. Just when it was getting heavy, guess what happen? Someone walked in on us! And not just anyone, it was Koushiro! He found Ken and I up against a wall, kissing!
I didn't even realize it was him until I pulled away from Ken. He was blocking my view. All I heard was, "Ex-excuse me!" So I pulled away to see who it was and apologize. God, that was so stupid! I don't think he even knew who it was until we'd separated. Then his eyes got really big and he started stuttering. Not that I was any better. Ken was the only one that didn't seem to be bothered. That's nothing new, though.
Koushiro probably thinks I'm a slut now. A month ago I'm confessing my love for him and now he finds me with Ken. I think I just proved him right. That I would move on and it was just hormones or some crap like that. Except that's not true. I still do love him, in a way. But I think I might be falling for Ken. It's different and more...intense. Maybe it's just because he's there and he can see me for what I am. He doesn't care that I'm messed up. He lets me do what I want and doesn't chide me. I really appreciate that; being allowed to act like myself. No boundaries, no faking.
*sigh* I can't let this bother me. I can't won't let myself look back. I've already done too much to change my mind now. There's no going back now, I've passed the point of no return.