Oh. My. Crap.
Worst. Kung-Fu. Movie. EVAR.
Can't... stop... laughing. If anyone has an hour and a half of their life they don't care about, is drunk (or not, though I think drunk helps) and wants a REALLY good body-shaking laugh, I can't help but recommend (as Netflix did, and Julia took seriously -
"Jules?" "Yes?" "When Netflix asks if it can ever recommend something, you say, NO!!!!") that you must simply see Legend of the Red Dragon. And to further recommend it, it stars JET LI!
My body aches from laughing so hard. English words fail to describe how bad it is. Perhaps the original Chinese can do justice. But I swear, put it in, sit back, have a drink (or three), and make commentary throughout the entire film. You will never lack for material. The only thing missing was ninjas on rollerskates...
Now Julia and I have to spread this atrocity among our friends. The gods demand it. Cthulu demands it. You have been warned.
Now I must wash my head out with bleach and try to catch my breath from laughing.