thanks becca
this is that thing that becca tagged me for where you have to write 6 things/quirks about yourself. i tagg some other people. like, you. so go do it.
1. i'm unbelievably afraid of death or abandonment of any kind. so much, in fact, that i think about how much it scares me a minimum of once a day. i have panic attcaks far too often.
2. i like to travel. whenever im in a panic, or whenever im not, i just like to travel. it always makes me feel better.
(ex)easter sunday i was having a huge panic attack about how seth left and he loved me so everyone who loves me could potentially leave and that reminded me of death. so, then i started freaking out about dying and trying to solve it, like, figure out what happens when you die. i was a mess. so, i bought a ticket o west palm beach, florida and arrived here last night. it helped a bit. i met a 5 year old named kristopher (yes, with a k) on the plane and we played rock, paper, scissors for hours. he helped me understand life more, and im not even kidding.
3. swimming is my "safe place". whenever anything in life goes wrong, going to the pool always manages to make it that much more barable (is that the word im searching for?). i forget about the bad things and just concentrate all my energies of what is im doing.
like when he who we shall not speak of broke up with me. on a voicemail. nice one. but, yeah. i cried hysterically for 2 days and then i through water on my face and called scarlette (a friend of mine - the aquatics director at the ywca - who i had not talked to in about 2 years) and said i was having a hard time with life and needed to volunteer ... so i did. i remember that day tecahing a little girl how to do the butterfly. she was so excited, it seemed - to her anyway - that she was on top of the world and sense she could do butterfly, she could do anything. well, i remember thinking that maybe this is how it was suposed to happen. that maybe teaching that little girl to swim on that saturday night was more important that anything that couldve or wouldve happened between seth and i if we had been together that night. that if i was with seth- i wouldnt have been around to teach that girl how to swim. and that realization made things smile ... just a little bit.
4. i want to be a good person. i havent exactly figured out what that encompasses yet, but i know i want to be one. i want to be kind to people, forgive people who have done me wrong, advise people who need help, and things like that. i want to be passionate, spiritual, spunky, friendly, fun. i just want to be a good person.
5. it makes me angry that we dont take care of the planet. it makes me so mad. we need to start doing that. i know it sounds geeky, but its so important.
6. i like chocolate. a lot. ok, so that ones not very "important", but i do. i like it.
1. i'm unbelievably afraid of death or abandonment of any kind. so much, in fact, that i think about how much it scares me a minimum of once a day. i have panic attcaks far too often.
2. i like to travel. whenever im in a panic, or whenever im not, i just like to travel. it always makes me feel better.
(ex)easter sunday i was having a huge panic attack about how seth left and he loved me so everyone who loves me could potentially leave and that reminded me of death. so, then i started freaking out about dying and trying to solve it, like, figure out what happens when you die. i was a mess. so, i bought a ticket o west palm beach, florida and arrived here last night. it helped a bit. i met a 5 year old named kristopher (yes, with a k) on the plane and we played rock, paper, scissors for hours. he helped me understand life more, and im not even kidding.
3. swimming is my "safe place". whenever anything in life goes wrong, going to the pool always manages to make it that much more barable (is that the word im searching for?). i forget about the bad things and just concentrate all my energies of what is im doing.
like when he who we shall not speak of broke up with me. on a voicemail. nice one. but, yeah. i cried hysterically for 2 days and then i through water on my face and called scarlette (a friend of mine - the aquatics director at the ywca - who i had not talked to in about 2 years) and said i was having a hard time with life and needed to volunteer ... so i did. i remember that day tecahing a little girl how to do the butterfly. she was so excited, it seemed - to her anyway - that she was on top of the world and sense she could do butterfly, she could do anything. well, i remember thinking that maybe this is how it was suposed to happen. that maybe teaching that little girl to swim on that saturday night was more important that anything that couldve or wouldve happened between seth and i if we had been together that night. that if i was with seth- i wouldnt have been around to teach that girl how to swim. and that realization made things smile ... just a little bit.
4. i want to be a good person. i havent exactly figured out what that encompasses yet, but i know i want to be one. i want to be kind to people, forgive people who have done me wrong, advise people who need help, and things like that. i want to be passionate, spiritual, spunky, friendly, fun. i just want to be a good person.
5. it makes me angry that we dont take care of the planet. it makes me so mad. we need to start doing that. i know it sounds geeky, but its so important.
6. i like chocolate. a lot. ok, so that ones not very "important", but i do. i like it.