Uphill, both ways and barefoot
In my day, you had to work for a happy ending. Take Snow White, for example. She had to cook and clean for seven smelly miners AND fend off assassination attempts by her stepmother AND practically DIE before she got her prince.
As bad as my stepmother and stepsisters were, at least they never tried to kill me. Of course, they worked me so hard I sometimes wished I were dead. As the unpaid maid I never had any decent clothes and I almost forgot about wearing shoes. The first pair I had was made of glass and I lost one side the first time I wore it, but at least that turned out all right.
You know about Sleeping Beauty of course? The poor dear was another who had to go through hell for a happy ending. A hundred year nap may sound easy, but would you want to wake up the way she did? What? A kiss? You actually believed the story her fairy godmothers made up to preserve her reputation? You want the truth? Well, she went to sleep a maid and woke up a mother - of twins. It just got worse from there. I don't want to talk about it anymore.
These princesses these days have it easy compared to us. Do you believe the nerve of that little twit who lost her golden ball? All she had to do was share her life for three days with a frog, and the way she carried on, you'd have sworn it was three hundred years. If you asked me, the prince should have hopped - should've run- as far away as possible when the spell broke. I shudder to think what life with that brat is like.
Oh, and what about the princess with the skin condition? One night sleeping on a tiny pea and she's black and blue all over. Don't know how that marriage is going to work out if she bruises so easily.
What do you mean be nice? I am being nice! I haven't said a word against Rapunzel, have I? Of course I believe her mother locked her in that tower for her own protection. No she was not a witch. Are we going to argue about this? Very well. Think about this. She's seeing her prince, they're making plans to escape and all he can think about is bringing some silk cord for her to weave into a ladder every time they meet? A prince can't find a ladder long enough to get his true love out of a tower? And she was dense enough to believe him?
Thank goodness her mother caught on before it was too late and managed to have a nice little talk with him about responsibility (backed with threats to make the blindness permanent if he didn't treat her right of course). Did her daughter thank her for trying to make her happy? No! For that, she's a witch.
Oh...never mind me. I miss the days where discipline, patience and a good attitude towards whatever life threw at were required before you got your reward. Oh, I don't mean you dear, you're one of the good ones.
What? Leaving already? Very well. Tell the gardener I said you can have cuttings from any of the roses you choose - I know how you love your roses. Oh, and do write to tell me if the flea powder solves your prince's little problem.
Farewell.
As bad as my stepmother and stepsisters were, at least they never tried to kill me. Of course, they worked me so hard I sometimes wished I were dead. As the unpaid maid I never had any decent clothes and I almost forgot about wearing shoes. The first pair I had was made of glass and I lost one side the first time I wore it, but at least that turned out all right.
You know about Sleeping Beauty of course? The poor dear was another who had to go through hell for a happy ending. A hundred year nap may sound easy, but would you want to wake up the way she did? What? A kiss? You actually believed the story her fairy godmothers made up to preserve her reputation? You want the truth? Well, she went to sleep a maid and woke up a mother - of twins. It just got worse from there. I don't want to talk about it anymore.
These princesses these days have it easy compared to us. Do you believe the nerve of that little twit who lost her golden ball? All she had to do was share her life for three days with a frog, and the way she carried on, you'd have sworn it was three hundred years. If you asked me, the prince should have hopped - should've run- as far away as possible when the spell broke. I shudder to think what life with that brat is like.
Oh, and what about the princess with the skin condition? One night sleeping on a tiny pea and she's black and blue all over. Don't know how that marriage is going to work out if she bruises so easily.
What do you mean be nice? I am being nice! I haven't said a word against Rapunzel, have I? Of course I believe her mother locked her in that tower for her own protection. No she was not a witch. Are we going to argue about this? Very well. Think about this. She's seeing her prince, they're making plans to escape and all he can think about is bringing some silk cord for her to weave into a ladder every time they meet? A prince can't find a ladder long enough to get his true love out of a tower? And she was dense enough to believe him?
Thank goodness her mother caught on before it was too late and managed to have a nice little talk with him about responsibility (backed with threats to make the blindness permanent if he didn't treat her right of course). Did her daughter thank her for trying to make her happy? No! For that, she's a witch.
Oh...never mind me. I miss the days where discipline, patience and a good attitude towards whatever life threw at were required before you got your reward. Oh, I don't mean you dear, you're one of the good ones.
What? Leaving already? Very well. Tell the gardener I said you can have cuttings from any of the roses you choose - I know how you love your roses. Oh, and do write to tell me if the flea powder solves your prince's little problem.
Farewell.