I am sick...
I am sick. Mentally sick. Seriously, and critically.
I don't know what had happened to me. I don't know how to describe my feeling these days. I don't know what i am doing. I don't know what i feel. I don't know what i have seen, what i have heard, what i have said. And, i don't know what i have done.
Something that i am sure is, i am sick.
I can't think properly. I can't eat properly. I can't sleep properly. I can't read, i can't write. I can't even day-dream properly.
I am extremely depressed. My soul has been eaten up by something or somebody, which i don't know. There is nothing inside my body. Only sorrow, pain and misery are filling my empty heart. I don't know what should i do it overcome this dreadful, ghastly "thing".
I felt there is something elseI am so weak, so powerless, so lack of strength to expel the "ghost" inside my body. I feel that, I am not myself. I could feel it, something or somebody has substituded my soul, and did all kind of action, decision. That's kind of horrible things, that i myself couldn't accept.
And i realised, it's too late to discover the "object" inside my body. It has done something terrible, something couldn't be accepted by myself too. Something i might get heart attack after i am awaked, or after the "object" has left my body.
I am frightened. I am scared. I am afraid that something might get into a situation, which couldn't be reversed or retrieved. And it did make me mad. I couldn't recognise who am i already, and this is the thing that I afraid of most.
How deep i wish, time could backflow, until the day before my soul is being eaten up. Maybe i could fight with the devil, which is now staying in my body, and prevent it from going into my body? Maybe i could do something to control myself, control my mind, in order not to do something out of control.
I am extremely depressed. As i might had caused something fatal, and irrevocable. I might had done something that i shouldn't have done. I might hurt somebody deeply.
BUT ALL OF THESE.... I REALLY DON'T MEAN IT. I dare not recall what have i done.
And basically, i don't know what i am writing right now.
I am so tired, and sorrow....
I am sick. Mentally sick. Seriouly, and critically....