Hello Again Live Journal!!!!!
So I figured I would go ahead and re-make a live journal. Why? Because I'm currently in a mood and need someone to talk to... but not someone who will give me opinions or advice... to just LISTEN....
The past 2 days have been amazing..... I closed Figaro w/ TCO, I got a lead in Into the Woods... I had 2 nights of unexpected romance.... and yet here I sit completely confused and baffled. Like... I'm just overwhelmed with me. Yesterday afternoon I was sitting shaking.... like... is that normal? Today I'm not doing that... but I'm all of a sudden concerned about myself and my priorities... And...
Ok... you caught me. This is all ramble. Big ol' Ramble... Because, the truth is... I met someone this weekend... I wonder how it was from his end... but from mine, it was pretty intense. It's just been so long.... SO LONG... since I got along with someone that well.. which was amazing. I am being pretty laid back about the whole situation (well, as laid back as the kate-ster gets).. but... I really want to be wanted. I want someone to like me. I want someone to kiss me. I want someone to hold me. I feel like from what i've seen SO FAR I want that someone to be him... but who knows... Whatever happens, happens....I'm dying for appreciation and chemistry and connection..... oye.
I hate that I opened this journal with a serious entry, lol... my last journal was solely aimed at making the reader laugh. I'm getting a little sick of that. I'm not happy and funny all the time... Indeed I'm not. I have really bad moods. I cry a lot... i battle with depression and getting out of bed every morning. Most of my Binghamton friends have absolutely no clue who I really am... which is so sad, and completely my fault. The truth is....... I'm not together. Not even close. Someday..
I want to go to Italy... I want to experience all the amazing art I'm studying FIRST HAND. Like... can you imagine looking up at the Sistine Chapel? I'm breathless just thinking about that experience. Daily questions that have taken over.....
1- If I had never met Jeremy, would I never have left Northeastern University?
2- Am i EVER going to graduate?
3- When people compliment me, are they totally full of shit?
4- Will I ever love again..?
5- Is Sean ok........... god I wish I hadnt fucked that up..
6- WHY DOES MUSIC THEORY EXIST
Sorry banter...
Ok.... I need to go to bed I think. I am so sorry readers for the bitchy entry... I have been meaning to start this baby up again from last semester, and it was obvioulsy preferable to do that right now than to freakin study for my history of western music midterm. However, i might have waited until i was POST menstral to write... hahahaha.....
And.... a new day began 10 seconds ago. I'm feeling better after my ramble.. thanks for listening to me, Kate. (wow,Queen of Dorky) NIGHT
The past 2 days have been amazing..... I closed Figaro w/ TCO, I got a lead in Into the Woods... I had 2 nights of unexpected romance.... and yet here I sit completely confused and baffled. Like... I'm just overwhelmed with me. Yesterday afternoon I was sitting shaking.... like... is that normal? Today I'm not doing that... but I'm all of a sudden concerned about myself and my priorities... And...
Ok... you caught me. This is all ramble. Big ol' Ramble... Because, the truth is... I met someone this weekend... I wonder how it was from his end... but from mine, it was pretty intense. It's just been so long.... SO LONG... since I got along with someone that well.. which was amazing. I am being pretty laid back about the whole situation (well, as laid back as the kate-ster gets).. but... I really want to be wanted. I want someone to like me. I want someone to kiss me. I want someone to hold me. I feel like from what i've seen SO FAR I want that someone to be him... but who knows... Whatever happens, happens....I'm dying for appreciation and chemistry and connection..... oye.
I hate that I opened this journal with a serious entry, lol... my last journal was solely aimed at making the reader laugh. I'm getting a little sick of that. I'm not happy and funny all the time... Indeed I'm not. I have really bad moods. I cry a lot... i battle with depression and getting out of bed every morning. Most of my Binghamton friends have absolutely no clue who I really am... which is so sad, and completely my fault. The truth is....... I'm not together. Not even close. Someday..
I want to go to Italy... I want to experience all the amazing art I'm studying FIRST HAND. Like... can you imagine looking up at the Sistine Chapel? I'm breathless just thinking about that experience. Daily questions that have taken over.....
1- If I had never met Jeremy, would I never have left Northeastern University?
2- Am i EVER going to graduate?
3- When people compliment me, are they totally full of shit?
4- Will I ever love again..?
5- Is Sean ok........... god I wish I hadnt fucked that up..
6- WHY DOES MUSIC THEORY EXIST
Sorry banter...
Ok.... I need to go to bed I think. I am so sorry readers for the bitchy entry... I have been meaning to start this baby up again from last semester, and it was obvioulsy preferable to do that right now than to freakin study for my history of western music midterm. However, i might have waited until i was POST menstral to write... hahahaha.....
And.... a new day began 10 seconds ago. I'm feeling better after my ramble.. thanks for listening to me, Kate. (wow,Queen of Dorky) NIGHT