Ficlet: Failing
Title: Failing
Fandom: Final Fantasy 7
Verse: Diversion
Rating: PG-13 for Zack's mind being one thing with the gutter.
Pairings: Sephiroth/Vincent, Zack/Cloud
Length: 1277 words
Warnings: Talks of crossdressing, Zack being a horndog.
Notes: I'm writing these as the muses order, so I'm not following a strict timeline. This follows Ode of about a year, after Seph and Vincent got Zack and Cloud away from Hojo and they're all on the run. PS: Zack is an idiot
Failing
It happened at times that pranks, er, plans didn’t work out as well as they should. Zack was well aware of that, as clown and as part-time SOLDIER. At times even the most well thought plans failed. And at times, Zack decided as he tried not to let his jaw hang too low, at times plans backfired in spectacularly unexpected ways.
“W-what!”
Vincent stared back, expression blank. “I said okay. I approve of the course of action you suggested, although I dissent on the color scheme. I look positively horrid in pink.”
Take now, for example. They had to take a ship to Wutai, and ShinRa as a whole was hunting them. Chances for them to slip on a cargo and make it undiscovered through a four-day ride were at best next to zero. A passengers ship was no better. No matter what, together or singled out, each of them was too distinctive to go unnoticed. So the solution was wearing some kind of disguise. And, since ShinRa was looking for four men, who was going to look twice after two happy couples of newlyweds on their honeymoon? It sounded perfectly logical, yes, but truth was that any kind of concealment for their eyes and wigs would work out almost as well, and it was going to. He hadn’t though for a moment they were going to go with his suggestion. He just wanted really really much to see Cloud - and Vincent too, stupid too-blank, hot ex-Turk - get flustered and offended, force them to model out in the dresses he had gotten, maybe duck out a punch, sword or bullet and then they could think of something else for the boat trip. He’d get fun, he’d get eye candy, they’d get to work out their frustration on him - it was a win-win situation, right? The perfect plan.
Said perfect plan had totally failed when Vincent, after a quiet moment of consideration had shrugged and offered a calm, “Okay.” Cloud had stopped sputtering at that, and even Seph was staring at him now.
“You mean,” Zack said slowly, “that you’re completely fine with my plan? With passing off as a woman for the four days of the trip?”
Vincent just raised his eyebrow. Arrgh, and he had though Seph’s poker face was annoying. “Are you unconvinced of your own plan, Zack?”
“No, of course not! I just, though I’d have to, you know, fight to convince you. Possibly to the death.”
“No need to. I can recognize a good idea even if it comes from you.”
Must not strangle Vincent, or Seph was going to gut him again. Must not strangle own boyfriend who was snickering softly behind him, or he would get no sex for a long while. Stay calm and think of the dress.
“So you’re really going to crossdress?”
“It’s not crossdressing much as concealment, since we’re not doing it for fun or as a hobby.” Vincent tapped his fingers on the table, thoughtful. “We’re going to need more clothes, too, and other things.”
“More clothes?” Wow, he didn’t know Cloud could whimper like that outside of sex.
“We’ll need two sets each of day wear and two evening dresses. We can’t stay holed up in our cabins all the time without appearing suspicious and no woman would wear the same outfit four days straight, and dinner usually requires formal wear. So clothes and matching accessories, shoes, makeup and underwear.”
“Makeup?”
“Underwear.” Seph looked like a cat that had found the way to get the canary. It was mildly scary. On the other hand Zack could wholeheartedly sympathize. To picture Cloud - or Vincent - in sexy lace underwear, complete with corset, garters and slick black high heels... Mreow.
“Hey, wait a second. How come you know so much about this crossdressing thing?” The look Vincent sent him was freezing. Lucky him for wearing a sweater this morning. Could it be he had found a... kink in the man’s armor? “Anyway, write me a list and I’ll buy what you need.”
Mm, this look was even colder than the other one. “I’m not letting you do this without supervision.”
Okay, time to break out the wet-puppy eyes. “You’re saying you don’t trust me?” He needed to have words with Cloud later about snorting loudly while he was working The Eyes.
“I could trust you to watch my back in a fight, but with not letting your prankster self in the way? Not a chance.” Vincent’s expression was still blank, but he could almost feel his amusement. Bastard. “If I let you unleashed you’d come back with bags of outfits either kinky or completely ridiculous only to mortify us.”
Cloud hugged Vincent. “You’re my hero. You’ll get me through this alive and with my pride relatively intact, won’t you?”
Vincent patted his head. “I won’t let him buy anything too skimpy or with bows.”
Betrayed by his own boyfriend! How tragic!
“Stop pouting, Zack, you look more stupid than usual.”
His boyfriend and his best friend too, at the same time! Damned Turks’ dark power of persuasion!
“Very well. Zack, give me that pink monstrosity, I’ll get changed and then we’ll go and buy more appropriate day wear. After that I expect you to burn that thing. As for the formal wear, tomorrow Cloud and I will go buy the evening dresses and the accessories once that we’re... in character.”
“I’ll take care of the underwear.” Uh-oh. Seph had used his patented General Tone, the one that said that discussion would result in dismemberment and possible death.
Vincent raised an eyebrow. “We only need bras for stuffing, and maybe garters and stockings depending on the dresses, which I’ll know once I’ve gotten the outfits. No panties or anything else.”
Seph raised his eyebrow right back at him. It was like watching a duel to the death between giants. “I said I’d take care of it.”
Which meant that he was going to get panties and maybe some kinky negligee and then force Vincent into it. Man, he loved his anal best friend so much at times. He hoped he remembered to get some for Cloud too. Vincent sighed, and got up to take the dress. Apparently Turks also knew when they had lost a battle, too.
“You still haven’t told us how do you know so much about this. I’m curious too.”
Five points to Seph for bringing up the Golden Question again. Vincent couldn’t ignore him after all.
“As a Turk and bodyguard, I was trained on disguises.”
Zack just couldn’t hold back on that one. “You took classes on crossdressing?” Maybe SOLDIER had been the wrong career choice alright.
“Turks have no courses on crossdressing. Training was only on the more obvious concealments, anything else we made up as needed.”
“So you did this again? You already crossdressed before?” Someone had to have picture of that. “Someone has to have pictures of that!” Oops. Didn’t mean to say that out loud. Vincent went for his gun, and Zack very smartly dived behind Seph’s chair.
Vincent did look mildly annoyed now. Victory! “Yes, I had to do it again and yes, there were pictures and if you don’t cut it out I’ll demonstrate exactly what happened to the guy who took them. Now get out of there and get more cash, I’ll be back in ten minutes.” Zack obeyed, but waited five minutes after Vincent had left the room before doing so.
Well, okay, his idea hadn’t worked out as expected, but if these were the results then his plans didn’t fail often enough. He was going to have to work on that. Later. After he had bought a camera.
Fandom: Final Fantasy 7
Verse: Diversion
Rating: PG-13 for Zack's mind being one thing with the gutter.
Pairings: Sephiroth/Vincent, Zack/Cloud
Length: 1277 words
Warnings: Talks of crossdressing, Zack being a horndog.
Notes: I'm writing these as the muses order, so I'm not following a strict timeline. This follows Ode of about a year, after Seph and Vincent got Zack and Cloud away from Hojo and they're all on the run. PS: Zack is an idiot
Failing
It happened at times that pranks, er, plans didn’t work out as well as they should. Zack was well aware of that, as clown and as part-time SOLDIER. At times even the most well thought plans failed. And at times, Zack decided as he tried not to let his jaw hang too low, at times plans backfired in spectacularly unexpected ways.
“W-what!”
Vincent stared back, expression blank. “I said okay. I approve of the course of action you suggested, although I dissent on the color scheme. I look positively horrid in pink.”
Take now, for example. They had to take a ship to Wutai, and ShinRa as a whole was hunting them. Chances for them to slip on a cargo and make it undiscovered through a four-day ride were at best next to zero. A passengers ship was no better. No matter what, together or singled out, each of them was too distinctive to go unnoticed. So the solution was wearing some kind of disguise. And, since ShinRa was looking for four men, who was going to look twice after two happy couples of newlyweds on their honeymoon? It sounded perfectly logical, yes, but truth was that any kind of concealment for their eyes and wigs would work out almost as well, and it was going to. He hadn’t though for a moment they were going to go with his suggestion. He just wanted really really much to see Cloud - and Vincent too, stupid too-blank, hot ex-Turk - get flustered and offended, force them to model out in the dresses he had gotten, maybe duck out a punch, sword or bullet and then they could think of something else for the boat trip. He’d get fun, he’d get eye candy, they’d get to work out their frustration on him - it was a win-win situation, right? The perfect plan.
Said perfect plan had totally failed when Vincent, after a quiet moment of consideration had shrugged and offered a calm, “Okay.” Cloud had stopped sputtering at that, and even Seph was staring at him now.
“You mean,” Zack said slowly, “that you’re completely fine with my plan? With passing off as a woman for the four days of the trip?”
Vincent just raised his eyebrow. Arrgh, and he had though Seph’s poker face was annoying. “Are you unconvinced of your own plan, Zack?”
“No, of course not! I just, though I’d have to, you know, fight to convince you. Possibly to the death.”
“No need to. I can recognize a good idea even if it comes from you.”
Must not strangle Vincent, or Seph was going to gut him again. Must not strangle own boyfriend who was snickering softly behind him, or he would get no sex for a long while. Stay calm and think of the dress.
“So you’re really going to crossdress?”
“It’s not crossdressing much as concealment, since we’re not doing it for fun or as a hobby.” Vincent tapped his fingers on the table, thoughtful. “We’re going to need more clothes, too, and other things.”
“More clothes?” Wow, he didn’t know Cloud could whimper like that outside of sex.
“We’ll need two sets each of day wear and two evening dresses. We can’t stay holed up in our cabins all the time without appearing suspicious and no woman would wear the same outfit four days straight, and dinner usually requires formal wear. So clothes and matching accessories, shoes, makeup and underwear.”
“Makeup?”
“Underwear.” Seph looked like a cat that had found the way to get the canary. It was mildly scary. On the other hand Zack could wholeheartedly sympathize. To picture Cloud - or Vincent - in sexy lace underwear, complete with corset, garters and slick black high heels... Mreow.
“Hey, wait a second. How come you know so much about this crossdressing thing?” The look Vincent sent him was freezing. Lucky him for wearing a sweater this morning. Could it be he had found a... kink in the man’s armor? “Anyway, write me a list and I’ll buy what you need.”
Mm, this look was even colder than the other one. “I’m not letting you do this without supervision.”
Okay, time to break out the wet-puppy eyes. “You’re saying you don’t trust me?” He needed to have words with Cloud later about snorting loudly while he was working The Eyes.
“I could trust you to watch my back in a fight, but with not letting your prankster self in the way? Not a chance.” Vincent’s expression was still blank, but he could almost feel his amusement. Bastard. “If I let you unleashed you’d come back with bags of outfits either kinky or completely ridiculous only to mortify us.”
Cloud hugged Vincent. “You’re my hero. You’ll get me through this alive and with my pride relatively intact, won’t you?”
Vincent patted his head. “I won’t let him buy anything too skimpy or with bows.”
Betrayed by his own boyfriend! How tragic!
“Stop pouting, Zack, you look more stupid than usual.”
His boyfriend and his best friend too, at the same time! Damned Turks’ dark power of persuasion!
“Very well. Zack, give me that pink monstrosity, I’ll get changed and then we’ll go and buy more appropriate day wear. After that I expect you to burn that thing. As for the formal wear, tomorrow Cloud and I will go buy the evening dresses and the accessories once that we’re... in character.”
“I’ll take care of the underwear.” Uh-oh. Seph had used his patented General Tone, the one that said that discussion would result in dismemberment and possible death.
Vincent raised an eyebrow. “We only need bras for stuffing, and maybe garters and stockings depending on the dresses, which I’ll know once I’ve gotten the outfits. No panties or anything else.”
Seph raised his eyebrow right back at him. It was like watching a duel to the death between giants. “I said I’d take care of it.”
Which meant that he was going to get panties and maybe some kinky negligee and then force Vincent into it. Man, he loved his anal best friend so much at times. He hoped he remembered to get some for Cloud too. Vincent sighed, and got up to take the dress. Apparently Turks also knew when they had lost a battle, too.
“You still haven’t told us how do you know so much about this. I’m curious too.”
Five points to Seph for bringing up the Golden Question again. Vincent couldn’t ignore him after all.
“As a Turk and bodyguard, I was trained on disguises.”
Zack just couldn’t hold back on that one. “You took classes on crossdressing?” Maybe SOLDIER had been the wrong career choice alright.
“Turks have no courses on crossdressing. Training was only on the more obvious concealments, anything else we made up as needed.”
“So you did this again? You already crossdressed before?” Someone had to have picture of that. “Someone has to have pictures of that!” Oops. Didn’t mean to say that out loud. Vincent went for his gun, and Zack very smartly dived behind Seph’s chair.
Vincent did look mildly annoyed now. Victory! “Yes, I had to do it again and yes, there were pictures and if you don’t cut it out I’ll demonstrate exactly what happened to the guy who took them. Now get out of there and get more cash, I’ll be back in ten minutes.” Zack obeyed, but waited five minutes after Vincent had left the room before doing so.
Well, okay, his idea hadn’t worked out as expected, but if these were the results then his plans didn’t fail often enough. He was going to have to work on that. Later. After he had bought a camera.