my first post from my new apartment
there is a hurricane a blowing. well actually its a tropical storm, but its fun to say HURRICANE! I think its blowing change into the air.
I will try to give you a bit of an update but i probably will get tired of writing and post this before i write everything i could be adding.
I will start with Casey.
Kirk called a little bit ago and told me that he heard from Mr. Jones himself and that he was in Albercourque (i am not looking up how to spell that now>>>) New Mexico. So two weeks at Kyla's going away party he told us he was leaving. He said goodbye to me. Supposedly he had left town, but he was really crashing at Onna's (i talked to her today) and then went to Farm to Family which I had to miss this weekend cus I went to Jax. to do chores for my mom.
Side note- supposedly i missed the best farm to family there has been. there was iowasca that my friends had it would have been amusing to witness them on that journey. and tom and tyler were playing and i missed them : (
so farm to family was the place anyone saw him. he sent me a myspace message the other day saying he was going to be in New Orleans that night and he wanted me to give him Jessica's number. So either way Casey is gone. He is a hurricane. Matt is also gone. He went to California. Now Andrea has Aaera (Casey's daughter) and Juniper (Matt's daughter) and both of those girls father figures are gone. I hung out with Matt a couple weeks ago and we watched Harold and Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay and he was telling me about how he was losing the house so he had to go out west for work. who knows what will happen....
My heart kinda has been hurting this week. I decided in Jax that I was not going to take classes this fall. i only have 6 classes left to graduate. but i have no money and i need to work full time. i haven't told my mom yet. i dropped my classes on isis and i will not be starting on monday. just one semester off. i know many people have opinions on this but its what i feel i need to do.
i kinda have been seeing someone. Danny. I know I can't see myself taking him serious and i don't want to put a label on it. i don't want to be his "girlfriend". i know he really likes me and i am worried that i am going to hurt him. Kirk called me a heartbreaker when i was telling him how i felt about the situation. I just feel like every guy I have gone out with in this last year i have not felt like opening myself up to a serious thing. i am not against having that with someone but i think that in a way Thad thought me not to settle. I don't want to be in a relationship with someone if my heart isn't fully invested or my mind tells me that they are worth it.
So I told myself I should just have fun with Danny and we can casually date. I enjoy spending time with him. We went to the springs a couple times and have been seeing each other a lot the last couple weeks (minus the 4 days i took off to jax and the 1 day to valdosta). SO yeah he is fun but he doesn't make my heart thump.
So i am horrible for even having this thought. but tonight i was hanging out at tim and terry's (for the first time in over a week- (really have been going there less)-) and while whethering the weather. or is it (weathering the weather?- i think its this one but i am kinda stoned) Danny's friend started talking to me. So he just broke up with his gf of 3.5 years and is now crashing at Danny's house. Danny lives in a house with 5, but now 6 guys. Oh... i knew he was trying to subtly flirt but he wasn't sure about my status with danny was. i felt more of a connection and like i have more in common with this other dude whose name i won't mention unless it becomes important later in time. I heard him ask Danny if i was his gf. he knew mike dorsey and i probably have talked to him b4 cus he thought he remembered me. it would be so wrong to get with danny's roomie or friend. but i want to hang out with him more and talk. I am horrible. I like guys too much. I need to meet the right one sooner rather then later cus if I don't then i will end up liking even more guys in the mean time. But yeah. we will see what happens.
Hopefully I will have a job at Pizza Palace serving tables tomorrow and then I will find a second job next week.
So I love my new place. I need to post more about it and the moving out process. and I finally just got internet at the new place this week so i will be able to update that soon.
idk if anyone reads this when i write longish posts but i write this so i can remember. i wish i wrote more sometimes cus then it would be more detailed and less scattered and obviously less sporadic.
i have no ciggs and i want one but its almost 4 and Fay is outside so i think I will try to sleep so I won't miss the right time for me to show up at Pizza Palace tomorrow. If I ever want to quit smoking then I should be able to go to bed without one. I hope i can do it.
And now to quote Chelsea Carnes
"TOO MUCH! Not Enough. Too Much! Not Enough. Too much. never satisfied!"
I will try to give you a bit of an update but i probably will get tired of writing and post this before i write everything i could be adding.
I will start with Casey.
Kirk called a little bit ago and told me that he heard from Mr. Jones himself and that he was in Albercourque (i am not looking up how to spell that now>>>) New Mexico. So two weeks at Kyla's going away party he told us he was leaving. He said goodbye to me. Supposedly he had left town, but he was really crashing at Onna's (i talked to her today) and then went to Farm to Family which I had to miss this weekend cus I went to Jax. to do chores for my mom.
Side note- supposedly i missed the best farm to family there has been. there was iowasca that my friends had it would have been amusing to witness them on that journey. and tom and tyler were playing and i missed them : (
so farm to family was the place anyone saw him. he sent me a myspace message the other day saying he was going to be in New Orleans that night and he wanted me to give him Jessica's number. So either way Casey is gone. He is a hurricane. Matt is also gone. He went to California. Now Andrea has Aaera (Casey's daughter) and Juniper (Matt's daughter) and both of those girls father figures are gone. I hung out with Matt a couple weeks ago and we watched Harold and Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay and he was telling me about how he was losing the house so he had to go out west for work. who knows what will happen....
My heart kinda has been hurting this week. I decided in Jax that I was not going to take classes this fall. i only have 6 classes left to graduate. but i have no money and i need to work full time. i haven't told my mom yet. i dropped my classes on isis and i will not be starting on monday. just one semester off. i know many people have opinions on this but its what i feel i need to do.
i kinda have been seeing someone. Danny. I know I can't see myself taking him serious and i don't want to put a label on it. i don't want to be his "girlfriend". i know he really likes me and i am worried that i am going to hurt him. Kirk called me a heartbreaker when i was telling him how i felt about the situation. I just feel like every guy I have gone out with in this last year i have not felt like opening myself up to a serious thing. i am not against having that with someone but i think that in a way Thad thought me not to settle. I don't want to be in a relationship with someone if my heart isn't fully invested or my mind tells me that they are worth it.
So I told myself I should just have fun with Danny and we can casually date. I enjoy spending time with him. We went to the springs a couple times and have been seeing each other a lot the last couple weeks (minus the 4 days i took off to jax and the 1 day to valdosta). SO yeah he is fun but he doesn't make my heart thump.
So i am horrible for even having this thought. but tonight i was hanging out at tim and terry's (for the first time in over a week- (really have been going there less)-) and while whethering the weather. or is it (weathering the weather?- i think its this one but i am kinda stoned) Danny's friend started talking to me. So he just broke up with his gf of 3.5 years and is now crashing at Danny's house. Danny lives in a house with 5, but now 6 guys. Oh... i knew he was trying to subtly flirt but he wasn't sure about my status with danny was. i felt more of a connection and like i have more in common with this other dude whose name i won't mention unless it becomes important later in time. I heard him ask Danny if i was his gf. he knew mike dorsey and i probably have talked to him b4 cus he thought he remembered me. it would be so wrong to get with danny's roomie or friend. but i want to hang out with him more and talk. I am horrible. I like guys too much. I need to meet the right one sooner rather then later cus if I don't then i will end up liking even more guys in the mean time. But yeah. we will see what happens.
Hopefully I will have a job at Pizza Palace serving tables tomorrow and then I will find a second job next week.
So I love my new place. I need to post more about it and the moving out process. and I finally just got internet at the new place this week so i will be able to update that soon.
idk if anyone reads this when i write longish posts but i write this so i can remember. i wish i wrote more sometimes cus then it would be more detailed and less scattered and obviously less sporadic.
i have no ciggs and i want one but its almost 4 and Fay is outside so i think I will try to sleep so I won't miss the right time for me to show up at Pizza Palace tomorrow. If I ever want to quit smoking then I should be able to go to bed without one. I hope i can do it.
And now to quote Chelsea Carnes
"TOO MUCH! Not Enough. Too Much! Not Enough. Too much. never satisfied!"