(no subject)
Just me venting. ='( lots of angst and self put downs. please dont read.
gosh, I am like beating myself up. I have an audition to be a dancer at DisneyWorld Thrursday, and Im like freaking out!!!! I want this sooooo badly, i've wanted it since I danced onstage at disney four years ago, but I think my acceptance is going to be based on this auditon! I did the phone interview and he said i'd reciveve a letter back in 2-3 weeks. 3 weeks pass and I get a letter saying my acceptance is pending. Whille, some friends who also applied they did their phone interview and right away was accepted! It's like what did I do wrong?? Im like freaking out, and crying, and freaking somemore. I feel like if I dont do well, my dreams are crumbling, and once again im not good enough to achieve my dreams, im not good enought to be happy. this sucks, I can never come out on top and be happy it seems. what did I do to deserve this???='( life just sucks right now. all my roomates hate me, I can never live up to my brother ( who has a freaking job at Toyota in California) i just feel unpretty, and fat, and a failure at life. =( if Im this much a mess now, how am i going to be before the auditions??? ughhhhhhhh ='( I just want to suceed at somthing, I want to make my mom proud and feel acomplished for once in my life, is that too much to ask???
gosh, I am like beating myself up. I have an audition to be a dancer at DisneyWorld Thrursday, and Im like freaking out!!!! I want this sooooo badly, i've wanted it since I danced onstage at disney four years ago, but I think my acceptance is going to be based on this auditon! I did the phone interview and he said i'd reciveve a letter back in 2-3 weeks. 3 weeks pass and I get a letter saying my acceptance is pending. Whille, some friends who also applied they did their phone interview and right away was accepted! It's like what did I do wrong?? Im like freaking out, and crying, and freaking somemore. I feel like if I dont do well, my dreams are crumbling, and once again im not good enough to achieve my dreams, im not good enought to be happy. this sucks, I can never come out on top and be happy it seems. what did I do to deserve this???='( life just sucks right now. all my roomates hate me, I can never live up to my brother ( who has a freaking job at Toyota in California) i just feel unpretty, and fat, and a failure at life. =( if Im this much a mess now, how am i going to be before the auditions??? ughhhhhhhh ='( I just want to suceed at somthing, I want to make my mom proud and feel acomplished for once in my life, is that too much to ask???