(no subject)
Hey look at that, it's January. I haven't posted in a good while...livejournal seems to be losing out to facebook...everyone's new Internet addiction.
This is the first entry I've typed on my new laptop that I got for Christmas. I'm quite enjoying having the laptop but I think it's going to make me even more lazy...if that's possible.
Speaking of Christmas and all that jazz, this year turned out okay. The after Christmas ranch party was meh as it usually is, although stupid Lime kind of ruined things and there was no Santa which made me sad. New Years was good fun. I was a little weirded out going to a party where I didn't know the throwers of the party or most of the people there, but it was fun.
Now that I'm back at school, I'm feeling so overwhelmed that all I want to do is sleep. Sleep is a defense mechanism. There are so many overachievers in my program that are building resumes, cover letters and the whole nine yards and they're getting excited for the whole application process, hoping for a job next year etc. I'm...not. I'm scared as hell. I don't want to face the real world just yet. It scares the crap out of me. Thankfully I have Jen to tell me that she's in the same boat I am. Knowing that I'm not alone in not wanting to do this feels somewhat better.
There are so many questions I should be asking myself right now. How do I apply? Where do I want to apply? Who am I going to ask for reference letters? Where do I want to teach? What am I going to do after school is finished? Where am I going to live once this house is sold? What am I going to do for the summer? How am I going to answer all these questions in the next few months?
Questions keep circling in my head and I don't know how to answer any of them. They're life changing, big decisions. I can barely make little inconsequential decisions and you're asking me to make big life changing decisions? Shit.
So I sleep. It gets me to the next day without having to make a decision. But in the back of my mind I think sooner or later...
This is the first entry I've typed on my new laptop that I got for Christmas. I'm quite enjoying having the laptop but I think it's going to make me even more lazy...if that's possible.
Speaking of Christmas and all that jazz, this year turned out okay. The after Christmas ranch party was meh as it usually is, although stupid Lime kind of ruined things and there was no Santa which made me sad. New Years was good fun. I was a little weirded out going to a party where I didn't know the throwers of the party or most of the people there, but it was fun.
Now that I'm back at school, I'm feeling so overwhelmed that all I want to do is sleep. Sleep is a defense mechanism. There are so many overachievers in my program that are building resumes, cover letters and the whole nine yards and they're getting excited for the whole application process, hoping for a job next year etc. I'm...not. I'm scared as hell. I don't want to face the real world just yet. It scares the crap out of me. Thankfully I have Jen to tell me that she's in the same boat I am. Knowing that I'm not alone in not wanting to do this feels somewhat better.
There are so many questions I should be asking myself right now. How do I apply? Where do I want to apply? Who am I going to ask for reference letters? Where do I want to teach? What am I going to do after school is finished? Where am I going to live once this house is sold? What am I going to do for the summer? How am I going to answer all these questions in the next few months?
Questions keep circling in my head and I don't know how to answer any of them. They're life changing, big decisions. I can barely make little inconsequential decisions and you're asking me to make big life changing decisions? Shit.
So I sleep. It gets me to the next day without having to make a decision. But in the back of my mind I think sooner or later...