(no subject)
Is it time for one of those "it's the end of camp" updates?
I have so many mixed feelings about this summer. So many things that I thought were stable turned out to disappoint me and the things that I originally felt disappointed in really surprised me and turned my summer around. I thought that I knew where my support would come from this summer. Over the past 9 weeks, it changed dramatically. I learned that my attitude can be very much dependent upon who I surround myself with. I learned that not only am I influenced by the people that I surround myself with, but others are influenced by who they surround themselves with.
I didn't like the way that this year ended. Half the staff left yesterday and I didn't really get to say goodbye to anyone. Suddenly it was just the program staff. Today's debriefing meeting was very negative and although I thought some good feedback was given, I don't think that it will be used to it's advantage. Then when all the program staff left today, it just felt haphazard and again I didn't get to say goodbye to some...because we were all in different places. It just all felt so unfinished.
I think that this past week was the best that I'd had all summer. I can think of a few reasons why. I can think of one particular location that I chose to keep myself away from that I think drastically improved a lot of things. A tense environment is no place for me to be when I don't need to be there, when it doesn't feel like I'm appreciated when I am there and quite frankly where I feel taken for granted.
I look back at past entries and think about how much has changed with respect to my feelings regarding the people that I worked most directly with. I started out with a strong dislike based on past experiences and quick judgements. There's truly nothing greater than bonding over the love of hating someone else. I realize that sounds really horrible but in essence it's so damn true. I think that the realization that someone feels the same way as you is so validating and gives you a common bond that you can revisit again and again, and yet continue to make new memories.
I'm sticking to my guns when saying that I am not planning on returning next summer. I can easily turn down management when they ask. It's a lot harder to think about turning down great supportive friends. It's a lot harder to think about turning down a person who I admire for her strength and support because I know that she wouldn't ask without a damn good reason.
*sigh* A lot of changes this summer. Good ones. Bad ones. Ones I didn't expect.
Euchre is the best card game ever.
I have so many mixed feelings about this summer. So many things that I thought were stable turned out to disappoint me and the things that I originally felt disappointed in really surprised me and turned my summer around. I thought that I knew where my support would come from this summer. Over the past 9 weeks, it changed dramatically. I learned that my attitude can be very much dependent upon who I surround myself with. I learned that not only am I influenced by the people that I surround myself with, but others are influenced by who they surround themselves with.
I didn't like the way that this year ended. Half the staff left yesterday and I didn't really get to say goodbye to anyone. Suddenly it was just the program staff. Today's debriefing meeting was very negative and although I thought some good feedback was given, I don't think that it will be used to it's advantage. Then when all the program staff left today, it just felt haphazard and again I didn't get to say goodbye to some...because we were all in different places. It just all felt so unfinished.
I think that this past week was the best that I'd had all summer. I can think of a few reasons why. I can think of one particular location that I chose to keep myself away from that I think drastically improved a lot of things. A tense environment is no place for me to be when I don't need to be there, when it doesn't feel like I'm appreciated when I am there and quite frankly where I feel taken for granted.
I look back at past entries and think about how much has changed with respect to my feelings regarding the people that I worked most directly with. I started out with a strong dislike based on past experiences and quick judgements. There's truly nothing greater than bonding over the love of hating someone else. I realize that sounds really horrible but in essence it's so damn true. I think that the realization that someone feels the same way as you is so validating and gives you a common bond that you can revisit again and again, and yet continue to make new memories.
I'm sticking to my guns when saying that I am not planning on returning next summer. I can easily turn down management when they ask. It's a lot harder to think about turning down great supportive friends. It's a lot harder to think about turning down a person who I admire for her strength and support because I know that she wouldn't ask without a damn good reason.
*sigh* A lot of changes this summer. Good ones. Bad ones. Ones I didn't expect.
Euchre is the best card game ever.