It's gonna hurt bad before it gets better

[kelsemaroo]

It's been a hell of a few weeks. Two weeks into camp, half way through my first session of campers and I'm already ready for them to go home. I'm just so tired. So tired of rudeness. So tired of disrespect. Disrespect for other campers and disrespect for me. So tired of just plain ridiculousness. I understand that teenagers are difficult to handle. But this goes beyond what I ever could have imagined. The boss man said to me: 'this is the worst group dynamic I have seen in a long long time' That makes me feel good. He can continue to say that it's not my fault. Everyone can continue to say it's not my fault. Everyone can say I'm doing all I can, and I believe some of it...sometimes...but most of the time I've got myself convinced that if I tried hard enough, everyone -would- get along. I feel like I'm putting everything I've got into these kids and I'm getting nothing in return. It's so draining. Half the time they're teenagers, half the time they're preschoolers. I cannot turn my back or someone makes a rude comment and someone else snaps. There have been yelling matches in the dining room, yelling matches in front of young campers, yelling matches in front of parents, as well as physical and verbal threats. I'm fed up. But at the same time, I have no power. I'm not good at coming up with consequences for bad behaviour. Unfortunately, I believe that there is good in every kid and that I am responsible for bringing that good out. So far, I've been failing with a few. One in particular. She drives me up the wall. No consideration for other's feelings. In fact she takes pleasure in pushing other people's buttons. She does it well and could care less who she hurts in the process.

Thank you Heather, Tammy and Lori for an AMAZING and 100% necessary evening last night. Tavistock country dances do not disappoint. Peachy, thanks for the drink. I had a lot of em and each one made me forget the pain a little more. Drunk. Dancing. Country music. Cowboys. Therapy.