(no subject)
What is it that attracts me to Louis as a person? It might be his lonleyness. The first day I met him I was put off by his confidence and his outgoing gestures because his eyes were so tellingly sad I thought. Now I know that its not sadness at all, just lonleyness. He doesn't have a home and his mom moved away to Tennesse. He just stays with an aquiantence and isnt even allowed to move in any of his stuff there. He's lonley in the way I am, I can feel it. He doesn't have any great friends or just any sense of home. His past relationship was his home. Yup, this is exactly what attracts me to Louis. My mom may not have moved to Tennesse but she may as well have because I am not welcome home. I haven't really been welcomed home since I lived on Lorraine Court. Louis is addicted to weed...like so many others I have grown to know in the past year. It's too bad because he's completley self medicated by it, and thats the worst kind of smoker...the thereputic kind. I'm sure he'll do it forever, I'm so sure of it. I wonder what he was like before he ever smoked. I bet he was magnificant. I bet he was someone I'd admire. Instead he's just someone I adore and feel for. That may seem like a lot but it's really just all.