Bittersweet.
I met a boyyyyyyyyyy =]
He's fabulous. I'm so happy and excited and....terrified out of my mind. I've actually been wanting to find a guy for so long. It's always greener on the other side though. Now that I kinda sorta found one, I'm like dude, this SUCKS. First of all I forgot that I am crazy. At least about this. I have an obsessive personality. & boy, am I obsessing. Weird creepy thoughts cross my mind and I literally have an argument with myself. Like this:
*weird thought*
Seriously, did you just think that? Stop it you crazy woman, you've only been on two dates with him!
Yep. I know. Should I be in an institute or something? I mean, really. This is so wrong. I am almost 20 years old and I am acting like I'm in the 6th grade again over this boy. Granted, he has EVERYTHING I want in a man, and seems to be interested in me for some reason. Still though, I need a grip on reality. I usually have a pretty strong one. Then a boy comes around. Then I live in my fantasy world and over analyze everything. Ugh. I feel like if I'm too happy then something is going to go wrong. I know getting hurt is part of the process but it sucks, and I don't want to deal with it. Especially while trying to go through college.
Let me just explain how perfect he is right now.
Here are the traits I want in a man:
Christian
Nerdy
Funny
Fun
Smart
Handsome
You know, what most girls want. Now, let me describe Jeff.
He's 23 (EVEN close to my age...this never happens) 6 foot, beautiful smile...but he's super religious, hilarious, cracks lame jokes all the time (some at my expense) he's graduating with his Master's degree in 8 weeks. He's an engineer. He's dorky. He laughs at my lame jokes, and he's okay with me teasing him. He's super sweet too, but not like corny romantic. &...he likes margaritas. OH and he can cook! He. is. perfect. He's so perfect that it's wrong. You see? WRONG. We've only been out twice together so maybe I will find something wrong with him soon. He wants to hang out again. & he texts me every day. I'm in like with this kid. Already. Can you see the issues that are bound to arrive? Why was I not just content being with my kids and my sister and my church? Not that I have drama right now, but I really like not having any. Boys = drama. In some way or another. Even if it is just my crazy mind. Alright. I need to do homework. Or work out. Or both.
He's fabulous. I'm so happy and excited and....terrified out of my mind. I've actually been wanting to find a guy for so long. It's always greener on the other side though. Now that I kinda sorta found one, I'm like dude, this SUCKS. First of all I forgot that I am crazy. At least about this. I have an obsessive personality. & boy, am I obsessing. Weird creepy thoughts cross my mind and I literally have an argument with myself. Like this:
*weird thought*
Seriously, did you just think that? Stop it you crazy woman, you've only been on two dates with him!
Yep. I know. Should I be in an institute or something? I mean, really. This is so wrong. I am almost 20 years old and I am acting like I'm in the 6th grade again over this boy. Granted, he has EVERYTHING I want in a man, and seems to be interested in me for some reason. Still though, I need a grip on reality. I usually have a pretty strong one. Then a boy comes around. Then I live in my fantasy world and over analyze everything. Ugh. I feel like if I'm too happy then something is going to go wrong. I know getting hurt is part of the process but it sucks, and I don't want to deal with it. Especially while trying to go through college.
Let me just explain how perfect he is right now.
Here are the traits I want in a man:
Christian
Nerdy
Funny
Fun
Smart
Handsome
You know, what most girls want. Now, let me describe Jeff.
He's 23 (EVEN close to my age...this never happens) 6 foot, beautiful smile...but he's super religious, hilarious, cracks lame jokes all the time (some at my expense) he's graduating with his Master's degree in 8 weeks. He's an engineer. He's dorky. He laughs at my lame jokes, and he's okay with me teasing him. He's super sweet too, but not like corny romantic. &...he likes margaritas. OH and he can cook! He. is. perfect. He's so perfect that it's wrong. You see? WRONG. We've only been out twice together so maybe I will find something wrong with him soon. He wants to hang out again. & he texts me every day. I'm in like with this kid. Already. Can you see the issues that are bound to arrive? Why was I not just content being with my kids and my sister and my church? Not that I have drama right now, but I really like not having any. Boys = drama. In some way or another. Even if it is just my crazy mind. Alright. I need to do homework. Or work out. Or both.