more depressedness

[kels28]

okay so i was trying to wait up for mike.. and i got very depressed because he couldn't see me last night.. just like he can never see me.. and how i'm so sick of this and how i just want someone who can make me smile.. and how there is NO ONE like that in the entire world.. and i just don't know what to do because.. i feel lost and lonely and very alone.. and i just.. want to cry but i don't feel like crying.. so i just mope.. and i want to rip my face off.. why do i even let myself feel like this? i just don't understand it.. and i know that if i talk to mike about it he'd be like.. yeah i don't care.. i'm too busy.. sorry.. blah blah blah aka i hate you.. even tho that's not true/not his fault.. because he does work all the time and it's important for him and everything.. i don't even want to write this anymore but i need to because i feel so bad. i wish.. i wish i wish i wish.. wishes don't come true anyway. what's a girl to do? i want to meet someone else but i'm so scared and i don't even know how to do that anymore.. what the hell is my problem.. and this is so.. emo of me, haha.. i just need a while to clear my head and get over this.. these 2 years of being lonely.. wow. hate life.. wow.

"babe i'm so sorry" what mike? "babe i'm so sorry" oh okay let me let you ignore me just cuz you said that.. i love letting everyone walk all over me.

done.