All that I am is all I can give, but with or without you my life I must live
I saw something recently that talked about character and how it’s gained, how it’s not something gained merely from experiences and wrong decisions, but from regretting those mistakes, accepting you’re wrong and moving past it. Feeling regret, essentially. It got me thinking about the last sentence of my last entry. I’ve had many times of just wanting to wipe the slate clean, forgetting and starting over, but what, really, is gained from that? We’re a combination of personality and what our experiences have made us. Every action and decision, good or bad, is a part of us. This applies to relationships too... the very depth of a connection lies in the experiences gone through together. Why would I want to erase something that’s built up a part of me, I wonder. I’ve been unable to move past things for a month or so now while others are far past it, but I feel like I’m finally okay with moving past it, accepting that I regret, and letting you know that I’m so sorry, but I think everything will be okay now.
Filming has been going well, I’m really fascinated with the way things are coming along and anxious to see what comes from it. With an adaptation of what’s been called “the most unfilmable book ever,” I’m impressed with Michael and his decision to go ahead and try it. It seems like it’ll be slightly in the style of Adaptation in that it’s a film within a film about the filmmaker making the film. One of those that will be either unique and wonderful or a complete disaster, but either way I’m enjoying working on it. Jeremy Northam and I have been chumming around again; I have such a crush on that bloke, he’s just gorgeous. I try to keep him out of mischief but he just ends up pulling me into it. That’s another great thing about this film, I’ve worked with about half the cast before of all different projects, and we’re all fairly comfortable with each other and have a good time going out on the piss after shooting.
Nevertheless, I’m taking a long weekend that feels needed to tag along on tour with Tim towards the end of the month. I spent about a month on tour last year with him when we were dating and it was probably the best month I’d had in a long time. I never really tagged along with Dougie when he would go off on tour, so the experience is fresh and exciting still. All the touring musicians will think I’m crazy, but I love the living on a bus, crammed together, seeing all the sights and all that. Plus, it helps a lot that I love the members of Ash; I only hope they don’t mind me being there too much. I’ll be joining them for the journey over to Glasgow, and once I informed mum I’d be stopping by she was overjoyed and insisted Tim come along as well. He’s the only one of my (recent) boyfriends that’s come home to meet my mum and I think she adores him for it, plus she just adores him in general. She tried to insist I stay longer but I can only get away from filming for so long and if I could get away for longer I’d probably try to join Tim for longer. :-[ I’m looking forward to good, clean, wholesome fun cough and seeing my darling again, it seems like it’s been far too long.
I went and added all the cast I knew from Phantom of the Opera today because I’m a silly little fangirl like that. I actually squealed the long while ago when I saw the preview for it. When my childhood friend Sarah and I were little we were into it and would dance around the house, singing and acting out the parts, but I always had to be either the Phantom or Raoul because I was the tomboy-ish one. :-[
Filming has been going well, I’m really fascinated with the way things are coming along and anxious to see what comes from it. With an adaptation of what’s been called “the most unfilmable book ever,” I’m impressed with Michael and his decision to go ahead and try it. It seems like it’ll be slightly in the style of Adaptation in that it’s a film within a film about the filmmaker making the film. One of those that will be either unique and wonderful or a complete disaster, but either way I’m enjoying working on it. Jeremy Northam and I have been chumming around again; I have such a crush on that bloke, he’s just gorgeous. I try to keep him out of mischief but he just ends up pulling me into it. That’s another great thing about this film, I’ve worked with about half the cast before of all different projects, and we’re all fairly comfortable with each other and have a good time going out on the piss after shooting.
Nevertheless, I’m taking a long weekend that feels needed to tag along on tour with Tim towards the end of the month. I spent about a month on tour last year with him when we were dating and it was probably the best month I’d had in a long time. I never really tagged along with Dougie when he would go off on tour, so the experience is fresh and exciting still. All the touring musicians will think I’m crazy, but I love the living on a bus, crammed together, seeing all the sights and all that. Plus, it helps a lot that I love the members of Ash; I only hope they don’t mind me being there too much. I’ll be joining them for the journey over to Glasgow, and once I informed mum I’d be stopping by she was overjoyed and insisted Tim come along as well. He’s the only one of my (recent) boyfriends that’s come home to meet my mum and I think she adores him for it, plus she just adores him in general. She tried to insist I stay longer but I can only get away from filming for so long and if I could get away for longer I’d probably try to join Tim for longer. :-[ I’m looking forward to good, clean, wholesome fun cough and seeing my darling again, it seems like it’s been far too long.
I went and added all the cast I knew from Phantom of the Opera today because I’m a silly little fangirl like that. I actually squealed the long while ago when I saw the preview for it. When my childhood friend Sarah and I were little we were into it and would dance around the house, singing and acting out the parts, but I always had to be either the Phantom or Raoul because I was the tomboy-ish one. :-[