Ranty Movie Review
Over the weekend I saw two films. Both seasonal blockbusters, both fantasies, both based on British children's literature, both frequently sexist, both out to teach me a lesson about good overcoming evil. Harry Potter on Saturday, Narnia on Sunday. I enjoyed both films, failed to be truly dazzled by either one, and can't help comparing them. Narnia was more visually entertaining than Harry Potter, and Tilda Swinton truly kicks immense ass as the White Witch. But Narnia was too long, Aslan the lion needed better character development, and (personal bias) the Christian allegory bored me. The Harry Potter film definitely felt like the installment piece that it is, and because the film has to squeeze in an immense amount of material (Book 4 of HP being the first lllloooooooooooonnnnnnnnnggggggg one), the storytelling lacks depth.
Comparative sexism: should I explain away Narnia's sexism as part-and-parcel of its Christianity? The White Witch, woman = temptation & evil & downfall of men, yadda yadda yadda. But wait! There's more! The human sisters run around the military camp in long princess-y dresses while their brothers get sword training. Note: if I am ever at war against a dictatorial sorceress who can turn me to stone with a flick of her wand, I want to wear some damn pants. Luckily, the sisters spend the entire battle mourning & nursing a dead Jesus lion, so there's no need for them to ever change out of their long pretty skirts. Last week I came across Narnia's director explaining how he'd carefully taken out some of the novel's more overtly sexist lines about girls fighting battles. Fine, lovely, but could you also have given those battlegirls some trousers? On the other side of the cineplex, Harry Potter's girls get to wear pants, but that's about all they get to do. Big Evil in Harry Potter is male (though pretty fey, I might add), but so is everyone else who ever really does anything. We've all heard tonnes about how the HP books have gotten boys reading again, and I'm all for it. Yay reading! But there's not much in the books for girls. This film features a whole cavalcade of hot French witches, who never speak but do get frequent butt shots from the camera. Harry's friend Hermione is the smartest of the bunch, but as the characters get older, she's become an object of male desire rather than the raging-against-evil spitfire she once was. Blah, blah, blah.
Overall review of children's fantasy epics, Xmas 2005? Generally entertaining but frequently irritating. I like watching big dragons and malevolent villains in digital stereo. I like the smell of popcorn. I get annoyed by the culture industry even as I consume its products.
P.S. Penguins Are The New Black. This year's cute-polar-bears Christmas Coke ad features a meet-and-greet between cute polar bears and cute penguins. Cheers to Coke for reinforcing a new generation's misconceptions about the Arctic! Luckily, by the time Coke's current target audience grows up, there won't be any polar bears, so the total impossibility of them meeting penguins won't really matter.
Comparative sexism: should I explain away Narnia's sexism as part-and-parcel of its Christianity? The White Witch, woman = temptation & evil & downfall of men, yadda yadda yadda. But wait! There's more! The human sisters run around the military camp in long princess-y dresses while their brothers get sword training. Note: if I am ever at war against a dictatorial sorceress who can turn me to stone with a flick of her wand, I want to wear some damn pants. Luckily, the sisters spend the entire battle mourning & nursing a dead Jesus lion, so there's no need for them to ever change out of their long pretty skirts. Last week I came across Narnia's director explaining how he'd carefully taken out some of the novel's more overtly sexist lines about girls fighting battles. Fine, lovely, but could you also have given those battlegirls some trousers? On the other side of the cineplex, Harry Potter's girls get to wear pants, but that's about all they get to do. Big Evil in Harry Potter is male (though pretty fey, I might add), but so is everyone else who ever really does anything. We've all heard tonnes about how the HP books have gotten boys reading again, and I'm all for it. Yay reading! But there's not much in the books for girls. This film features a whole cavalcade of hot French witches, who never speak but do get frequent butt shots from the camera. Harry's friend Hermione is the smartest of the bunch, but as the characters get older, she's become an object of male desire rather than the raging-against-evil spitfire she once was. Blah, blah, blah.
Overall review of children's fantasy epics, Xmas 2005? Generally entertaining but frequently irritating. I like watching big dragons and malevolent villains in digital stereo. I like the smell of popcorn. I get annoyed by the culture industry even as I consume its products.
P.S. Penguins Are The New Black. This year's cute-polar-bears Christmas Coke ad features a meet-and-greet between cute polar bears and cute penguins. Cheers to Coke for reinforcing a new generation's misconceptions about the Arctic! Luckily, by the time Coke's current target audience grows up, there won't be any polar bears, so the total impossibility of them meeting penguins won't really matter.