Fic: There is no Sex in Team (Hank/Boris)
Title: There is no sex in team
Fandom: Royal Pains
Pairing: Hank/Boris, pre-slash
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: These two belong to the USA channel or someone that is not me.
Timeline: Early in the season
A/N: Written for the lovely ixchel55
Summary: Evan talks and it's up to Hank to smooth everything over.
Hank walked in and headed across the Foyer to his room. He was bone tired and all he wanted was a nice glass of wine and a hot shower. He tried to ignore his brother's jazz hands and the little jumping motion he was doing. But when Evan said, "Okay, okay, don't get mad," Hank stopped. Those words never boded well for him.
Hank had been up since 5 a.m after getting a call from a pop star trying to make her comeback. Now twelve hours later he wasn’t up for any of his brother’s antics.
He dropped his medical bag on the Italian marble floor and crossed his arms.
"What did you do now?"
Evan strolled closer and tried to smile.
"How’s Britney?"
"None of your business, what did you do?"
Evan backed up a bit and waved his hands around as if he were a magician trying to fool his crowd of onlookers into looking this way while he performed magic over that way.
"I know you told me to leave Boris alone, but he was out for a walk and I was out for a walk and I just wanted to really let him know how much we appreciated him letting us stay here. I said something about how grateful you were and you wanted to show that gratefulness and I, I guess he got a different meaning from that and um...he wants to see you."
Hank frowned.
"What do you mean 'see me?'?”
Evan eyes widened and he did a nervous little fidget dance.
"I think he likes you bro. I mean really likes you and he, hmmm, mightwanttoseeyounaked."
Hank blinked and then blinked again.
"Did you say naked?"
Evan scratched his ear, and then scratched his elbow.
"He seemed to heavily imply that there would be nudity involved."
Hank picked up his bag.
"I am going to have a shower and then I am going to kill you."
Unfortunately Evan followed him into the bathroom, and even with the massaging shower jets on, Hank could hear him making and discarding suggestions at the speed of light.
"You can't lead him on. Boris probably buys and sells small countries for fun. He's not used to a 'no.' How about you just explain that you like girls, though there was that one time in medical school you let slip that time we were drinking way too much Tequila. But don't tell him that!"
Hank opened the shower door and stuck his head out of the glassed in enclosure.
"You go tell him that I am not getting naked with him!"
Evan laughed.
"Oh no. If I go up there I'm liable to somehow get you engaged to him. Maybe you should just take one for the team."
Hank wiped water out of his face.
"There is no sex in Team! You take one for the team, chatty Cathy!"
Evan chuckled. "I understand you may be a little nervous but he likes you and you like him and really, a few hours and he's a nice looking man so it should be easy."
Hank snorted and turned the water off. He wrapped a towel around his body and stepped out of the shower.
“You sound like a pimp.”
Evan studied himself in the bathroom mirror.
“I need a big hat to be one of those. Look just go explain that while he is a handsome virile man, you are not interested. Flattered, but not interested. Either he’ll let it go or kick us out onto the harsh cold streets of East Hampton.”
Hank managed to dress and grumble while Evan made wilder and wilder suggestions. At the main house, Dieter showed him in and led him to Boris' office. Hank was glad he didn't show him to Boris' bedroom and suddenly he felt like the heroine in a Lifetime movie. He'd really liked watching those movies after he'd been fired.
Boris sat at his desk reading a thick stack of papers. When he took off his glasses and stood up from his desk, the look he gave Hank, like he was seeing a succulent steak crashed all of Hank's hopes that his brother had gotten it wrong. He put up his hands.
"Hey, I think my brother may have given you the wrong idea, said some crazy stuff, and I wanted to just check and make sure you’re not harboring some wrong information.”
Boris smiled and sat on the edge of his desk.
“As we were both speaking English at the time, I don’t think Evan and I had some sort of miscommunication. I thought, perhaps, you were a little shy.”
Hank stepped a little closer but stayed back enough in case Boris got grabby which could easily turn into him being chased around Boris’ huge desk like a secretary in some sexual harassment film.
“Yeah, look, you’re a great guy, but I’m seeing Jill and there’s the whole heterosexual thing I have going. Is this going to be a problem?”
Boris studied him, his eyes sweeping up and down Hank’s body; before he smirked just like he had the first night they’d met.
“No, Hank, no problem, but I must inform you that I don’t mind a bit of competition so you go ahead and pursue Ms. Casey and I’ll see if I can change your mind about a few things.”
Hank frowned. It wasn’t exactly what he wanted, but what if he kept protesting? What would be too much protesting and why was he thinking that he was looking forward to having his mind changed? He had no idea what he said to Boris, but he must have said something, because Dieter led him back to the front door and nodded a silent goodbye.
As Hank walked back to the guest house he knew that his summer here just got a whole lot more complicated.
End
Fandom: Royal Pains
Pairing: Hank/Boris, pre-slash
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: These two belong to the USA channel or someone that is not me.
Timeline: Early in the season
A/N: Written for the lovely ixchel55
Summary: Evan talks and it's up to Hank to smooth everything over.
Hank walked in and headed across the Foyer to his room. He was bone tired and all he wanted was a nice glass of wine and a hot shower. He tried to ignore his brother's jazz hands and the little jumping motion he was doing. But when Evan said, "Okay, okay, don't get mad," Hank stopped. Those words never boded well for him.
Hank had been up since 5 a.m after getting a call from a pop star trying to make her comeback. Now twelve hours later he wasn’t up for any of his brother’s antics.
He dropped his medical bag on the Italian marble floor and crossed his arms.
"What did you do now?"
Evan strolled closer and tried to smile.
"How’s Britney?"
"None of your business, what did you do?"
Evan backed up a bit and waved his hands around as if he were a magician trying to fool his crowd of onlookers into looking this way while he performed magic over that way.
"I know you told me to leave Boris alone, but he was out for a walk and I was out for a walk and I just wanted to really let him know how much we appreciated him letting us stay here. I said something about how grateful you were and you wanted to show that gratefulness and I, I guess he got a different meaning from that and um...he wants to see you."
Hank frowned.
"What do you mean 'see me?'?”
Evan eyes widened and he did a nervous little fidget dance.
"I think he likes you bro. I mean really likes you and he, hmmm, mightwanttoseeyounaked."
Hank blinked and then blinked again.
"Did you say naked?"
Evan scratched his ear, and then scratched his elbow.
"He seemed to heavily imply that there would be nudity involved."
Hank picked up his bag.
"I am going to have a shower and then I am going to kill you."
Unfortunately Evan followed him into the bathroom, and even with the massaging shower jets on, Hank could hear him making and discarding suggestions at the speed of light.
"You can't lead him on. Boris probably buys and sells small countries for fun. He's not used to a 'no.' How about you just explain that you like girls, though there was that one time in medical school you let slip that time we were drinking way too much Tequila. But don't tell him that!"
Hank opened the shower door and stuck his head out of the glassed in enclosure.
"You go tell him that I am not getting naked with him!"
Evan laughed.
"Oh no. If I go up there I'm liable to somehow get you engaged to him. Maybe you should just take one for the team."
Hank wiped water out of his face.
"There is no sex in Team! You take one for the team, chatty Cathy!"
Evan chuckled. "I understand you may be a little nervous but he likes you and you like him and really, a few hours and he's a nice looking man so it should be easy."
Hank snorted and turned the water off. He wrapped a towel around his body and stepped out of the shower.
“You sound like a pimp.”
Evan studied himself in the bathroom mirror.
“I need a big hat to be one of those. Look just go explain that while he is a handsome virile man, you are not interested. Flattered, but not interested. Either he’ll let it go or kick us out onto the harsh cold streets of East Hampton.”
Hank managed to dress and grumble while Evan made wilder and wilder suggestions. At the main house, Dieter showed him in and led him to Boris' office. Hank was glad he didn't show him to Boris' bedroom and suddenly he felt like the heroine in a Lifetime movie. He'd really liked watching those movies after he'd been fired.
Boris sat at his desk reading a thick stack of papers. When he took off his glasses and stood up from his desk, the look he gave Hank, like he was seeing a succulent steak crashed all of Hank's hopes that his brother had gotten it wrong. He put up his hands.
"Hey, I think my brother may have given you the wrong idea, said some crazy stuff, and I wanted to just check and make sure you’re not harboring some wrong information.”
Boris smiled and sat on the edge of his desk.
“As we were both speaking English at the time, I don’t think Evan and I had some sort of miscommunication. I thought, perhaps, you were a little shy.”
Hank stepped a little closer but stayed back enough in case Boris got grabby which could easily turn into him being chased around Boris’ huge desk like a secretary in some sexual harassment film.
“Yeah, look, you’re a great guy, but I’m seeing Jill and there’s the whole heterosexual thing I have going. Is this going to be a problem?”
Boris studied him, his eyes sweeping up and down Hank’s body; before he smirked just like he had the first night they’d met.
“No, Hank, no problem, but I must inform you that I don’t mind a bit of competition so you go ahead and pursue Ms. Casey and I’ll see if I can change your mind about a few things.”
Hank frowned. It wasn’t exactly what he wanted, but what if he kept protesting? What would be too much protesting and why was he thinking that he was looking forward to having his mind changed? He had no idea what he said to Boris, but he must have said something, because Dieter led him back to the front door and nodded a silent goodbye.
As Hank walked back to the guest house he knew that his summer here just got a whole lot more complicated.
End