(no subject)
i hate losing. it is the worse feeling in the world when u see ur coach just seem to lose all hope. i hate it i hate it i hate it. my coach does everything for us...this is all she does. and shes telling us to hold her head up high and how we still have the hard games...when i know she just wants to break down. she deserves too...she deserves to cry because she gives everything to us...and i feel that i just let her down. when u love somebody so much and u have to see them cry..you just want to end everything. i just hate how we lose when we should have won. pompton has won so many fricken times...counties, leagues all that. why cant we just have. ah ok redo! i wanted us to win. this was our last time to win for our seniors...its all gone now. and we could have beaten them..we oculd have won counties. its the most frusterating feeling in the entire world.
i just want to throw up. honestly, i dont know anyone who feels exactly how i do. it happened yesterday and im still really really upset about it. why me? why did i have to miss those strokes...and why did she have to make them? we have such a good team...it just feels that im the mistake... i mean would it have been different is auger was in it? i just feel that i let everyone down..everyone. our team. our school i mean our principal was there. my gym teacher was there and my old coach came back just to see us play. why did they have to win on strokes? lisa says she played good...i dont know how i played
i know it wasn't my fault...but i feel that people are blaming me. that is worse then me blaming myself. it so bad that sometimes i just want to die. i think this is the worse feeling that i have had in such a long long time. i dont even want to go to school tommorrow...i dont even want to face my team.
i just want to throw up. honestly, i dont know anyone who feels exactly how i do. it happened yesterday and im still really really upset about it. why me? why did i have to miss those strokes...and why did she have to make them? we have such a good team...it just feels that im the mistake... i mean would it have been different is auger was in it? i just feel that i let everyone down..everyone. our team. our school i mean our principal was there. my gym teacher was there and my old coach came back just to see us play. why did they have to win on strokes? lisa says she played good...i dont know how i played
i know it wasn't my fault...but i feel that people are blaming me. that is worse then me blaming myself. it so bad that sometimes i just want to die. i think this is the worse feeling that i have had in such a long long time. i dont even want to go to school tommorrow...i dont even want to face my team.