(no subject)
I've been trying to cool things off a bit with Vince, cause I think I'm getting too attached to someone who is leaving in about a month. Not because I'm opposed to long-distance relationships, in fact that's all I'd probably be up for at this point, but mainly because he's pre-med and is in no place to be taking on a girlfriend. Regardless the distance.
I'm pretty sure I like him more than he likes me. Yeah, I bet that's no surprise haha. The other night we were talking and he was super sweet and mentioned that he really liked me, then asked how that made me feel. I told him it made me nervous, because it does make me very very nervous. I mean, knowing that he likes me just makes it easier for me to give in to liking him. And that's just bad news. So I told him that when he asked if I liked him and he said he understood what I meant but doesn't understand why liking him is a bad thing. I told him it's because he's leaving at the end of the summer and I don't like to set myself up for disappointment. Well then he started joking about taking me back to Pittsburgh with him. Argh! He always jokes about that and one of these days I'm just gonna be like, "Okay! I guess I'm going back with you! When do I pack?" cause it's soooooo tempting. But I could never do it because I don't want to be a distraction to someone who is on the path to success, like he is. I would probably ruin his entire future.
I'm so negative hahaha. I'm just trying to talk myself out of a bad situation. Falling for this guy is not a good idea and I know I'm just asking for trouble. But he is such a smooth talker and he is so sweet, it's nearly impossible not to react like such a fucking girl. And I know he can tell that I'm being stubborn about this whole liking him thing, he teases me about it quite a bit. Like when we're kissing or whatever he'll say something like, "Oh yeah, the look you just gave me..and that kiss...you definitely like me!" and of course I deny deny deny. I'm such a mental case! This was supposed to be a silly fling, mostly just sex and making out! But he does things like take me out to eat or meet me on my lunch break, and he talks about things like me meeting his parents and him meeting mine. Just....more serious than sex stuff. Ya know? Ughhhh, I'm frustrated. Boys are frustrating. Especially when you're a fucking girl.
Oh oh oh and when he's gone, like this weekend he's in Malibu visiting his bro, he'll make jokes about me sleeping with other guys. Not just other guys though, usually guys who are his friends, like Garrett and Chris D. (his best friend..mmhmm) is it just me or is that kind of weird? Maybe I'm just paranoid. Or maybe he wants me to sleep with other guys cause he sleeps with other girls? And if he does sleep with other girls, I'd like to know so I can stop sleeping with him. Cause EWW. Dammit, now I'm reeeeally frustrated. It's quite possible this is all a lot more trouble than it's worth..
But he's sooooooooo CUTE!
I feel like this is all so jumbled and ridiculous. I apologize.
P.S. Work is good. I'm living back at mom and dad's already and so far it's not bad. Much closer to Vince...hahahahaha I'm hopeless!!
I'm pretty sure I like him more than he likes me. Yeah, I bet that's no surprise haha. The other night we were talking and he was super sweet and mentioned that he really liked me, then asked how that made me feel. I told him it made me nervous, because it does make me very very nervous. I mean, knowing that he likes me just makes it easier for me to give in to liking him. And that's just bad news. So I told him that when he asked if I liked him and he said he understood what I meant but doesn't understand why liking him is a bad thing. I told him it's because he's leaving at the end of the summer and I don't like to set myself up for disappointment. Well then he started joking about taking me back to Pittsburgh with him. Argh! He always jokes about that and one of these days I'm just gonna be like, "Okay! I guess I'm going back with you! When do I pack?" cause it's soooooo tempting. But I could never do it because I don't want to be a distraction to someone who is on the path to success, like he is. I would probably ruin his entire future.
I'm so negative hahaha. I'm just trying to talk myself out of a bad situation. Falling for this guy is not a good idea and I know I'm just asking for trouble. But he is such a smooth talker and he is so sweet, it's nearly impossible not to react like such a fucking girl. And I know he can tell that I'm being stubborn about this whole liking him thing, he teases me about it quite a bit. Like when we're kissing or whatever he'll say something like, "Oh yeah, the look you just gave me..and that kiss...you definitely like me!" and of course I deny deny deny. I'm such a mental case! This was supposed to be a silly fling, mostly just sex and making out! But he does things like take me out to eat or meet me on my lunch break, and he talks about things like me meeting his parents and him meeting mine. Just....more serious than sex stuff. Ya know? Ughhhh, I'm frustrated. Boys are frustrating. Especially when you're a fucking girl.
Oh oh oh and when he's gone, like this weekend he's in Malibu visiting his bro, he'll make jokes about me sleeping with other guys. Not just other guys though, usually guys who are his friends, like Garrett and Chris D. (his best friend..mmhmm) is it just me or is that kind of weird? Maybe I'm just paranoid. Or maybe he wants me to sleep with other guys cause he sleeps with other girls? And if he does sleep with other girls, I'd like to know so I can stop sleeping with him. Cause EWW. Dammit, now I'm reeeeally frustrated. It's quite possible this is all a lot more trouble than it's worth..
But he's sooooooooo CUTE!
I feel like this is all so jumbled and ridiculous. I apologize.
P.S. Work is good. I'm living back at mom and dad's already and so far it's not bad. Much closer to Vince...hahahahaha I'm hopeless!!