(no subject)
I feel like I'm having another depressive episode. It hasn't been this bad since two summers ago. I can't sleep. The last few weeks whenever I get really upset I have, I don't know, I guess the best way to describe it is like an anxiety attack. I make myself get physically sick and shake and cry hysterically. And I keep ending up thinking about things that I know I shouldn't be thinking about. And to make it worse, I just feel like there's no one here who understands it. And there's no one I can talk to. The only person I'm close with at school who I really trust is Sean. And he's great, but I can't just run to him everytime something goes wrong in my life. It's not his job to "fix" me.
On another note, it really hurts that my "best friends" only call me when they need something. And even as I'm helping them, they procede to criticize me. I think what I'm gonna try to do is get closer with the acquaintances in my life. Last semester I was clinging to my old friendships, which I always have a tendency to do, and it was just a constant disappointment. So maybe it's time for me to branch out. *sigh* I hate change.
Bruce, if you decide that you want company on that road trip, I'm up for it! :)
On another note, it really hurts that my "best friends" only call me when they need something. And even as I'm helping them, they procede to criticize me. I think what I'm gonna try to do is get closer with the acquaintances in my life. Last semester I was clinging to my old friendships, which I always have a tendency to do, and it was just a constant disappointment. So maybe it's time for me to branch out. *sigh* I hate change.
Bruce, if you decide that you want company on that road trip, I'm up for it! :)