Nonsense!
Dear Punxsutawney Phil,
You may be cute and fluffy, but your ways are mixed. If you see your shadow, it means it's SUNNY. So, despite what you said, I am going to say spring came early since it's been abnormally warm and my plants are blooming away.
Don't be mad, though. If I met you, I would pet you and snuggle you and take you home.
Love, Kelly
Dear Mother Nature,
Please don't get all PMS'y on me. Even though I wish it had snowed, I will not complain about warm weather and sunshine. So, keep it up. My deepest apologies, though - I don't think you're cute and fluffy (or maybe you are, but I wouldn't know).
Love, Kelly