(no subject)
so, its almost graduation time. thats really pretty exciting. graduation means summer, which means lots of work to keep me busy, hopefully time for lots of stuff with my friends, maybe a trip to Disneyland, possibly a camping trip or two. graduation also means that I'm closer to being in college, which means basically the inevitable end of a relationship (I wish there were something I could do about that, but there's not), so then I'll probably give the single life a try (since I've never really done that for very long before), which means I'll likely engross myself in studying just so I have something to do and to focus on besides another person. at this point, that doesn't seem like a very appealing thing, and I really wish that the relationship would not have to end, but I'll be in college and he'll still be in high school, which to me doesn't really seem like that big of a deal because its not like I'm really "going away" to college, I'll still be in the same city, but the split appears to be basically a sure thing in his mind, so I guess I really have no control over the matter. it just makes me feel like I'm more into the relationship than he is, because I really really don't want it to end. but, at the same time, it makes me wonder why we're waiting to break up when we basically both know that we're going to in a few months regardless of what happens. there's times when I sort of wish we'd just get it over with so that I could begin trying to move on and get over it, but then there's other times when I just want to hold on forever and never let go because I really really don't want it to end. oh well, its really not my decision. I can tell ya one thing though, it won't be me who eventually breaks it off.