Sleep
It is really hard for me to read attachment parenting information on sleep. I was in complete agreement with all the information provided on them, and still feel as if it's so very important to soothe a crying baby.
But never letting an 8 month old baby who wakes up literally 20 times a night cry? I'm finding it to be impossible.
Lots of people ask how we're coping. I guess we're just doing whatever it takes with our "persistent personality/ high maintenance" nighttime baby. I am trying to gradually get our little crane to sleep on his own using baby steps. This week in particular, we've seen a lot of success (finally) when we put him down in the pimped out pack and play that's next to our bed and pat him to sleep. But sometimes, like today, he gets other ideas of how I should be playing with him when he is clearly ready to nap.
I let him cry for 10 minutes today. I hate doing it. I can hear his every little breath in our one room house, so you can imagine how connected I feel to his cries. He does not like to be left alone, ever. This is where the attachment parenting information really gets me... they talk about how your child will be so much more confident of your love and support through co-sleeping and never letting them cry... but I have not found this to be the case with Niko, at all. Niko doesn't like to be left alone, ever. He wants his parents, or anyone- really, to be at arm's reach. This isn't tough for us while living in our small space. But whenever I am out of eye sight for even a second, he starts to whine and cry. It breaks my heart that he would ever think that I am going to leave him there. I tell him all the time that I would never leave, but of course he couldn't understand.
Anyhow, I had to let him cry a little to get my point across. This was after reading him three books, nursing him, rocking, singing several songs, and patting him for 15 minutes. He cried for 10 minutes and then I pat his back for 5 more minutes and he fell asleep for a whopping 40 minutes. Whoop-de-fucking doo because every book I read tells me that any nap that is under an hour doesn't count. Whatever. Mind you, it took me 40 minutes to even get that nap out of him.
But, you know, even falling asleep in the (pimped) pack and play after crying for 10 minutes is a MAJOR improvement over what he was doing even a month ago. He wouldn't even sleep in that thing for the longest time. We had to make a serious issue out of it for naps and general sleeping without us after he crawled out of the bed and landed on his little face a few weeks ago (I can't tell you how much that broke my heart). It's how to keep him asleep that is the bigger problem. He doesn't want to stay asleep for more than an hour at a time and if I don't nurse him back down at night, he'll completely wake up and think that it's PARTY TIME. I am trying to sleep between 2am and 7am on the couch downstairs while papa takes over co-sleeping so that he can't just have the boob at his beck and call whenever he wants it, every half hour or whatever. Mostly because this WAS NOT WORKING for me AT ALL after several weeks of waking up every 30 minutes. I am not exaggerating when I tell you that I was contemplating jumping off our building regularly at 3am.
Anyhow. Gradual night ween. Some crying. This no sleeping thing the hardest thing I have ever done, by far. I truly do feel as if we are saints for coping with this as well as we are. I would be utterly thankful for a baby who only woke me 4 times a night. I feel HATE for people on parenting boards who write things like "my baby has slept through the night since she was 6 weeks old, but now that she is 6 months, I am SO READY to get her to stop needing to be rocked to sleep all the time!" WTF?? Do you even want a baby?!
And that, my friends, is how sleep is going over here at the Benson house.
But never letting an 8 month old baby who wakes up literally 20 times a night cry? I'm finding it to be impossible.
Lots of people ask how we're coping. I guess we're just doing whatever it takes with our "persistent personality/ high maintenance" nighttime baby. I am trying to gradually get our little crane to sleep on his own using baby steps. This week in particular, we've seen a lot of success (finally) when we put him down in the pimped out pack and play that's next to our bed and pat him to sleep. But sometimes, like today, he gets other ideas of how I should be playing with him when he is clearly ready to nap.
I let him cry for 10 minutes today. I hate doing it. I can hear his every little breath in our one room house, so you can imagine how connected I feel to his cries. He does not like to be left alone, ever. This is where the attachment parenting information really gets me... they talk about how your child will be so much more confident of your love and support through co-sleeping and never letting them cry... but I have not found this to be the case with Niko, at all. Niko doesn't like to be left alone, ever. He wants his parents, or anyone- really, to be at arm's reach. This isn't tough for us while living in our small space. But whenever I am out of eye sight for even a second, he starts to whine and cry. It breaks my heart that he would ever think that I am going to leave him there. I tell him all the time that I would never leave, but of course he couldn't understand.
Anyhow, I had to let him cry a little to get my point across. This was after reading him three books, nursing him, rocking, singing several songs, and patting him for 15 minutes. He cried for 10 minutes and then I pat his back for 5 more minutes and he fell asleep for a whopping 40 minutes. Whoop-de-fucking doo because every book I read tells me that any nap that is under an hour doesn't count. Whatever. Mind you, it took me 40 minutes to even get that nap out of him.
But, you know, even falling asleep in the (pimped) pack and play after crying for 10 minutes is a MAJOR improvement over what he was doing even a month ago. He wouldn't even sleep in that thing for the longest time. We had to make a serious issue out of it for naps and general sleeping without us after he crawled out of the bed and landed on his little face a few weeks ago (I can't tell you how much that broke my heart). It's how to keep him asleep that is the bigger problem. He doesn't want to stay asleep for more than an hour at a time and if I don't nurse him back down at night, he'll completely wake up and think that it's PARTY TIME. I am trying to sleep between 2am and 7am on the couch downstairs while papa takes over co-sleeping so that he can't just have the boob at his beck and call whenever he wants it, every half hour or whatever. Mostly because this WAS NOT WORKING for me AT ALL after several weeks of waking up every 30 minutes. I am not exaggerating when I tell you that I was contemplating jumping off our building regularly at 3am.
Anyhow. Gradual night ween. Some crying. This no sleeping thing the hardest thing I have ever done, by far. I truly do feel as if we are saints for coping with this as well as we are. I would be utterly thankful for a baby who only woke me 4 times a night. I feel HATE for people on parenting boards who write things like "my baby has slept through the night since she was 6 weeks old, but now that she is 6 months, I am SO READY to get her to stop needing to be rocked to sleep all the time!" WTF?? Do you even want a baby?!
And that, my friends, is how sleep is going over here at the Benson house.