what a day...
so today bible study was really awesome. we had it at the park on a blanket.
i took some really sweet pics....too bad i am stupid and i dont know how to put them on here? so yeah, after bible study i went over to my mom's house. when i got there i noticed she had a black eye...she had a black eye the last time i saw her which was like 2 weeks ago so i was like, is that the same black eye? and she told me no, and that this new one was becuz she was play fighting with her bf and he elbowed her.....
her last excuse was that the cupboard door hit her in the eye.
:(
i just dont fucking know anymore. i mean i know i say i fucking hate my mom and shit but still that doesnt mean i want some fuck up beating her. im pretty upset about it. i was talking to my aunt when i got home cuz she heard me crying and came downstairs. she told me that my mom will never be the person i want her to be. she will never be a "mother". that kinda fucking sucks. i mean its not like i didnt already know that but yeah its still kinda hard to grasp. like sitting there knowing your mom like doesnt love you or herself for that matter. i dont want to see my mom like this. even she deserves better than that....
i dont know so i am kinda freaking out. i got a lot out of bible study today. i even got a little choked up at one point.
something about, "one person can not keep warm alone" thats prolly not exact but yeah anyways, thats my problem. i hate being alone, im like a freaking baby or something....i just wish that i was older and i had my own family to love and take care of? i dont know but this is like the longest entry i have written in like a long ass time. so if you are at this point give yourself a pat on the back for actually reading all this garbage....
i took some really sweet pics....too bad i am stupid and i dont know how to put them on here? so yeah, after bible study i went over to my mom's house. when i got there i noticed she had a black eye...she had a black eye the last time i saw her which was like 2 weeks ago so i was like, is that the same black eye? and she told me no, and that this new one was becuz she was play fighting with her bf and he elbowed her.....
her last excuse was that the cupboard door hit her in the eye.
:(
i just dont fucking know anymore. i mean i know i say i fucking hate my mom and shit but still that doesnt mean i want some fuck up beating her. im pretty upset about it. i was talking to my aunt when i got home cuz she heard me crying and came downstairs. she told me that my mom will never be the person i want her to be. she will never be a "mother". that kinda fucking sucks. i mean its not like i didnt already know that but yeah its still kinda hard to grasp. like sitting there knowing your mom like doesnt love you or herself for that matter. i dont want to see my mom like this. even she deserves better than that....
i dont know so i am kinda freaking out. i got a lot out of bible study today. i even got a little choked up at one point.
something about, "one person can not keep warm alone" thats prolly not exact but yeah anyways, thats my problem. i hate being alone, im like a freaking baby or something....i just wish that i was older and i had my own family to love and take care of? i dont know but this is like the longest entry i have written in like a long ass time. so if you are at this point give yourself a pat on the back for actually reading all this garbage....