battered...and not like a pancake
Been kicked around so long
You're starting to get used to how it feels
The taste of blood that's in your mouth
There's still somehow it always heals
Don't know how you keep on getting up
From all those ghostly blows
And all that pain that lingers
Deep down in the darkness where it grows
I know how hard it is
To keep your head up kid
To keep your head up
Kid
And there you sit on high
All tucked away and locked up in the clouds
Waiting for someone to finally
Come along and take you out
Into this bitter world
That also often treated you so cruel
When they turn away
You know that they will say that you're a fool
I know how hard it is
To keep your head up kid
I know how hard it is
To keep your head up kid
And so patiently
You waited for a love to come along
Take you out into this bitter world
So often done you wrong
There you sit alone
And there you shed a solitary tear
Listening to a song
You think that no one else would ever hear
I know how hard it is
To keep your head up kid
I know hard it is
To keep your head up
Keep your head up
Keep your head up
Keep your head up
Keep your head up
--A.L.
***********************************
had one hell of a week.
monday, the barrymore's. a dear friend from new york was randomly there, also performing, and i so loved seeing him. had a lovely massage, haircut, and mani/pedi in between rehearsals, slipped into my old standby flamingo cocktail dress, and hit the wannamaker. the performance went well, and the crowd loved us. les miz won a few awards, and i drank too much bourbon. spent some time with the brit. still a confusing situation.
tuesday, recovered. had a show. post-show wine & cheese at joe and amy's place. nice and low-key.
wednesday, actually blow-dried and flat ironed my hair. put on my cute new plaid swing coat and biked into center city. had tea with the brit. walked around town for a bit, trying to sort out my head. got home, took a pill, and as i was headed out to the theatre, was overcome with a feeling of horribleness. dizzy, woozy, nauseous, and pretty much non-functional. had to call out of show as my roommate looked after me. called doctor who told me it probably had nothing to do with the medicine i'm taking, and that i'm likely coming down with the flu. the brit had been feeling flu-ish the night before, so i figured i caught something from him. men...they frustrate and confuse us, and then get us sick. typical.
thursday, woke up feeling bad, but a little better. took a pill and headed to the theatre. started to feel progressively worse as i got into hair and make-up. at five after curtain i found my dresser and told her i could not go on. collapsed on the floor of my dressing room in convulsions. was transported to jefferson hospital where i spent the next four hours being poked and prodded. was released after being told i am in perfect health, and probably just over-exerting myself. good news, but wha...?
friday, felt like i had been run over by a mac truck. no show.
saturday, same, but was going to try and do the evening show. talked to stage manager at 5pm who had already decided i was not doing the evening show. thank god, because i took a pill and again felt shaky and horrible. rode it out and felt much better once the pill wore off.
sunday, woke up feeling worn out but ready to re-join the world and workforce. did NOT take a pill (obvi!), just two ibuprofen, which meant i was in a bit of pain during my dance numbers, but actually felt human. survived a two-show day.
so here's the deal: i've been taking a strong prescription anti-inflammatory for the hip/back pain i've been having, and it has on occasion made me feel a little light-headed and off-kilter. AND...i think i took two by mistake on thursday, when i had my "episode". no one at jeff seemed at all concerned about this, but after taking a pill for the first time since then last night and convulsing in my bathtub, i'm pretty sure it's the drug. so no more indomethacin. i did a little internet research, and i am not alone in this. i got through today with five ibuprofen spread out through the day, and a muscle relaxer in between shows.
one more week of the fair.