Fic: Trust 1/5
Authors note: This is the very first Chlack story I wrote and I finally figure out how to end it. Thanks again to my Beta Tigerlilly Brown. She did a great job helping me out if you need a Beta give her a thought.
Post season 6 and the icon is not mine. i just found it on website. It was called It's a Picture.
Disclaimer: I don't own it and this is the last time I am going to tell you.
Leave a review, tell me if you liked it or hated it. As I read once reviews are love.
Jack Bauer walked away from the Heller residence, ignoring the rain and ash that fell around him. Yesterday was one of those days, those days when his life went to hell. He seemed to have too many of them. Now after China, the nukes, the betrayal of his family and giving up Audrey, he still did not have a clue what he was doing or where he was going. Kim still did not know he was back and he was not sure how to tell her. He could just vanish again, live some life that was not his own, but he wanted to be Jack Bauer again - to live that life - but he was not sure who Jack Bauer was. He needed Chloe. She would help him find himself again, but could he risk her?
Heller said he was cursed and Jack could not help but wonder if the older man was right. Everything and everyone he touched seemed to be destroyed, except Chloe. She was the only one who seemed to be safe, immune to his touch. She was the one thing in his life that seemed to be unchanging. When he was in the chopper with Bill, he had not heard her voice over comm. Nadia told him that Chloe had collapsed. She was going to tell him what happened when she knew more, but he never heard if she was all right.
Suddenly Jack needed to know that nothing was wrong with her; he had to make sure his constant was safe and alive. If anything ever happened to Chloe, Jack didn't know what he would do.
Reaching for his phone, he dialed her number, but before he could say anything, she said, “Jack, where are you? They said that you fell from the helicopter. I heard about your dad. I can't imagine having a father who was a traitor and sold me out to be tortured. I'm sorry. That was not nice.” She sighed. “What I said a long time ago still stands, if you need someone to talk to, I'm here.” She paused, unable to say the words that she wanted to say, so she repeated the ones she said earlier today hoping he would understand what she was saying, “I'm still glad that Fayed didn't kill you.”
Smiling, Jack said, “Me too.”
“What are you going to do now?” Her voice was quiet.
“I don't know. Right now I just needed to take a walk.” he said stopping to look at his surroundings unsure of where he was, “I am okay, but are you?” he could imagine her tucking her hair behind her ear and frowning at his concern.
“Nothing, it was nothing.” She blew out a breath, “I'm pregnant and I was doing too much, but I'm fine. It's nothing that a little sleep and a few regular meals can't cure. I'm on my way home. Jack, what are you going to do now?” she asked quietly, not giving up, trying to imagine his expression. She could not help but see him standing alone in the dawn, running his hand through his hair in frustration at her concern.
“I don't know, Chloe. I really don't know. Kim still doesn't know that I am back and I said goodbye to Audrey. I let her go, Chloe. She wasn't mine to keep. I can't do this anymore. I...” his voice cracked.
Frowning again, Chloe asked, “Jack, where are you? I am coming to get you. You shouldn't be alone, not after today. Do you want me to call Kim and let her know before she hears it from someone else?” Chloe asked, ignoring Morris sitting next to her in the car.
Jack sounded so crushed. He needed her, and she would not abandon him to that fate. Not after all they had been through together. He had saved her life - now it was her turn to do the same.
“You don't have to do this. I'll be fine. As for Kim, I really don't know what to do. The last time we talked, it did not go well. Kim said she did not want me in her life.” Jack felt his control slipping away and he did not know if he could free himself from this void he was slipping into. After everything he had done, Jack was broken and he did not know if anyone could draw him away from the chasm that lay before him. The darkness threatened to swallow his soul and he did not want to drag Chloe down with him. “You don't have to come and get me. I will find somewhere to sleep.”
Chloe knew that he was close to falling apart and once that happened, he might never be able to him pull himself back together. He needed her help again, but this time she was offering without being asked, because that is what friends did. “Yes, I do. The address now, Jack or I will pull over this car and find you. You know I can do it.”
Resigned, he gave her the address and he could hear her arguing with someone off the phone, “Twenty-four minutes.”
Dropping down on the bus bench, Jack waited for Chloe. Around him, the world was beginning to wake. People were coming out of their houses to pick up the morning paper. Life was going on as though yesterday had not happen, as thought thirty thousand lives had not ended in an instant.
This time yesterday, Jack was ready to give his life to help end the terrorist threat. He thought that the end of his horror was in sight, but now he had to live again and possibly find some peace. When he had discovered that Audrey was alive, he thought that she was the answer, but that was a lie. She was an illusion that revealed itself harshly.
Seeing the truth, his mind could not help but compare Audrey and Chloe. Audrey was like Teri in demeanor and how she carried herself. Audrey would have fit well into his life before it all went to hell. Chloe, on the other hand, had Teri's kindness and trust, but none of her restrictive nature. He had never confused her with Teri as he had Audrey. Chloe trusted him explicitly and she had never lied to him. Audrey had lied to him and now he wondered what else she kept from him.
The day he returned from the dead, Audrey did not trust him enough to tell him about a one-night affair with Walt Cummings, forcing him to use violence before she would tell him. How could you build a relationship when there was no trust? Even now Jack wondered if there had been more than just that one night. The relationship didn't matter - she thought Jack was dead, but the fact that he had to force her to tell him hurt Jack deeply.
Audrey did not matter any longer; that part of his life was over. For her he had tried to be someone he wasn't. In D.C. he had worn a suit and played nice, but parts of him screamed to be let free of all the procedures and red tape. That was Audrey's world of dinners and politicians, to get things done. Jack's word was violence and death. When Jack had shown Audrey this, she had run from him and those dark corners of his soul, those places stained by the blood of the choices he had to make, the lives he had to sacrifice.
Then, when he had been resurrected, she had come back to him, but he wondered if it was more out of guilt and Utopian memories than love. In China he had thought about her and the life he hoped to build with her when he returned, as he lay on that cold cement floor in his lonely dark cell. It had all come crashing down tonight as he looked at her lying in that bed. She had been destroyed because she had been looking for him, trying to find him. In that instant he saw how selfish those dreams were. Audrey belonged in a spotless world and he was the one to keep it that way. The two of them were not meant to be together. They were polar opposites and the only thing to do was to walk away.
Staring out at the ocean, Jack realized that he had lied to her when he said goodbye. In that moment he had meant it, but now in the harsh light of dawn he saw his words for what they were: lies. He had never known or loved Audrey, nor she him - not really. She could never understand why he chose to walk that fine line between man and monster to keep the balance of peace and war.
Only one person understood - Chloe, no matter how much his soul was shredded. She lived and breathed his job, just like Jack. She knew what it did to him and who it made him. Most of all, he knew Chloe would be there when he needed her. She was his northern star in his insane life, she was the fixed point that he could always find and return to no matter what the storm.
When she pulled up later, Morris sat beside her, looking less than happy to see Jack. Without a word Chloe opened the door and he climbed in the backseat. Their eyes met in the rear view mirror and she smiled at him. It was a smile that no one else saw; it was Jack's and only Jack's.
Morris looked at Chloe to ask why they were not going yet, but the words died on his lips and he turned his gaze to Jack. There it was, and it hurt. The smile was not meant for him, but only for Jack. There was the mighty Jack Bauer, oblivious to what that little smile really was. Pain lanced through him and he cleared his throat. Jack had the courtesy to look embarrassed and looked out the window and Chloe just started the car, not looking at Morris.
Although she was no longer smiling, the warmth Jack saw reflected in Chloe's eyes stayed with him. When he saw that smile the darkness receded a little and he knew he was safe. That smile made him feel secure and he was able to relax for the first time in twenty months.
On the ride back to Chloe's apartment, Jack thought about his father. He had told Heller that Phillip Bauer was dead to him and had been for a long time. That was true, but there was a small piece of him that hoped one day his father would be proud of what he had done, and the man he had become. None of that was possible now - he would always be a disappointment to his father. More importantly, his father had disappointed Jack.
They arrived at her house and she made up the spare room for him with Morris muttering the whole time about how Jack should not be here. Finally Chloe turned to Morris. “This is my house and Jack is my guest, as are you. If you don't like it you can leave. You may be this baby's father, but that does not mean that you own me or the child. So shut up or leave. I will even call you a cab.” Crossing her arms across her chest, she waited for him to decide.
Jack started to say something but she cut him off. “Don't say it, Jack. He doesn't have to be here - he has his own place, you don't. Go take a shower and I will bring you some clothes. I imagine you are all salty.” He opened his mouth to tell her again he would go to a hotel. “Shower now, Jack. This is between me and Morris.”
Morris stood dumbfounded as Jack Bauer obeyed her and headed to the bathroom. Morris took two steps toward the door and then changed his mind. Sitting down on the couch, he looked at Chloe who was disappearing into the spare room and then at the bathroom door. He sighed like a man who knew he had lost but was going to keep fighting, hoping to change the outcome.
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