a rant and rave kid of post
Life is So confusing right now..its not even funny.
Me and my mom have been fighting non-stop since saturday and i hate it! i seriously cant stand it its horrible..idk what to do i want it to all stop i hate it. in result of it, it started to get between me and sean and i said i wanted a break but i didnt mean it and then we were fine (this happend yesterday) but for a while now it seems like he doesnt love me or like me as much anymore and it seems like we're best friends...i hate this feeling..it blows.. he doesnt realize how much i care about him and how much he means to me...hes the one that i can be SO honest with and tell everything too! i can joke around with himand be myself..hes the reason i get up in the morning and go to school just to see him...we started going out cuz at a football game he asked me to use my cell phone and then he started talking to me, i could never picture going out with someone like sean and we seriously only talked for like 2 weeks before we started goig out and we made a bet we would only last like 2 weeks or less and it turned into 4 1/2 months! this were so great when we first started going out all the random questions and the 2554 interuptions and the times missy walked in they were great..if we didnt have christmas break as close as we did to when we first started going out, me and him would not be this close. thats seriously what made us get to know like eveyrhting about eachother, i mean we were seriously together like everyday! and i never ever got sick of seeing him..just being held in his arms i felt like i was living my future dreams! my hand fights so perfectly in his and i love the feeling of holding his hand cuz i then know that nuttin else matters when im with him cuz all im worried about is being with him and holding him tight..hes the guy that showed me that not all guys (like my previous relationships) are all otu to get pussy and then leave you or to go out and cheat on you he showed me that there is sucha thing as true love and that not all guys are alike. He has this way of making me laugh like no one else can..he can just look at me and know what im thinking or what im about to say next! we know eachother so well that like we can serioulsy finish eachothers sentances and know exactly what the other person is gonna say next. we can never get through all whole movie together cuz we always end up talking. it's pretty funny. I can't even count all the laughs i ahve with him and all the good times...i kicked his butt in madden and wrestling and need for speed...he said he let me win but i dont think so lol but mabye ? sunday he tried to teach me how to throw a baseball and that deff didnt work to well lol im not a baseball girl type i guess lol..we had so many talks that day that made me go...kell dont be stupid and screw this up cuz you KNOW youre gonna regret it, this guy really loves you and you can tell taht he does anyone can ...stop thinking its gonna go bad at any minute and that hes gonna turn and break youre heart. hes not even close to any of the last guys so tehres nutin to worry about. the last thing on your mind is him hurting you by cheating on you or anything else hes not like that so why cant you get it outta your head? are you just scared kell? yes i am..im scared to death to loose someone like him..i know it may not last forever and i know it can end at anytime but i dont want it to be over stupid things...do you wanna loose somoene like him? DEFF NOT in a million years would i...why doesnt he tell me everything i thought to myself? why do i awlas think hes hiding something from me? i keep telling myself hes not but idk right now im really insecure with things...everything is like backfiring on me and i dont wnat him to give up and me or this relationship. i want this to work for as long as it can..i wish we could go back to how we used to be cuz i loved it and i still do cuz there so many good times in everything we do
...Sean, i love you i really do and i want you to relize that and im sorry for everything thats been happening over the last few days..i really dont wanna do this anymore and i dont want to have that feeling of freinds with benefits or best friends naymore. i think we are far from that and this relationship isnt ending, im just going through a werid time and i dont want you to freak out and leave me sean i dont want you to give up on me...please understand this..i love you and these are just some of my feelings towards you...its that face you give me in the morning to make me all butterflyish inside..its the way you hug me that sends chills up my spin...its the kisses that you give me that make my lips tingle..its the way you hold my hand that makes me feel like nutin else matters in the world
well i have to finish updating later cuz im on the phone with him right now!!!
i love him and i hope he reads this!
Me and my mom have been fighting non-stop since saturday and i hate it! i seriously cant stand it its horrible..idk what to do i want it to all stop i hate it. in result of it, it started to get between me and sean and i said i wanted a break but i didnt mean it and then we were fine (this happend yesterday) but for a while now it seems like he doesnt love me or like me as much anymore and it seems like we're best friends...i hate this feeling..it blows.. he doesnt realize how much i care about him and how much he means to me...hes the one that i can be SO honest with and tell everything too! i can joke around with himand be myself..hes the reason i get up in the morning and go to school just to see him...we started going out cuz at a football game he asked me to use my cell phone and then he started talking to me, i could never picture going out with someone like sean and we seriously only talked for like 2 weeks before we started goig out and we made a bet we would only last like 2 weeks or less and it turned into 4 1/2 months! this were so great when we first started going out all the random questions and the 2554 interuptions and the times missy walked in they were great..if we didnt have christmas break as close as we did to when we first started going out, me and him would not be this close. thats seriously what made us get to know like eveyrhting about eachother, i mean we were seriously together like everyday! and i never ever got sick of seeing him..just being held in his arms i felt like i was living my future dreams! my hand fights so perfectly in his and i love the feeling of holding his hand cuz i then know that nuttin else matters when im with him cuz all im worried about is being with him and holding him tight..hes the guy that showed me that not all guys (like my previous relationships) are all otu to get pussy and then leave you or to go out and cheat on you he showed me that there is sucha thing as true love and that not all guys are alike. He has this way of making me laugh like no one else can..he can just look at me and know what im thinking or what im about to say next! we know eachother so well that like we can serioulsy finish eachothers sentances and know exactly what the other person is gonna say next. we can never get through all whole movie together cuz we always end up talking. it's pretty funny. I can't even count all the laughs i ahve with him and all the good times...i kicked his butt in madden and wrestling and need for speed...he said he let me win but i dont think so lol but mabye ? sunday he tried to teach me how to throw a baseball and that deff didnt work to well lol im not a baseball girl type i guess lol..we had so many talks that day that made me go...kell dont be stupid and screw this up cuz you KNOW youre gonna regret it, this guy really loves you and you can tell taht he does anyone can ...stop thinking its gonna go bad at any minute and that hes gonna turn and break youre heart. hes not even close to any of the last guys so tehres nutin to worry about. the last thing on your mind is him hurting you by cheating on you or anything else hes not like that so why cant you get it outta your head? are you just scared kell? yes i am..im scared to death to loose someone like him..i know it may not last forever and i know it can end at anytime but i dont want it to be over stupid things...do you wanna loose somoene like him? DEFF NOT in a million years would i...why doesnt he tell me everything i thought to myself? why do i awlas think hes hiding something from me? i keep telling myself hes not but idk right now im really insecure with things...everything is like backfiring on me and i dont wnat him to give up and me or this relationship. i want this to work for as long as it can..i wish we could go back to how we used to be cuz i loved it and i still do cuz there so many good times in everything we do
...Sean, i love you i really do and i want you to relize that and im sorry for everything thats been happening over the last few days..i really dont wanna do this anymore and i dont want to have that feeling of freinds with benefits or best friends naymore. i think we are far from that and this relationship isnt ending, im just going through a werid time and i dont want you to freak out and leave me sean i dont want you to give up on me...please understand this..i love you and these are just some of my feelings towards you...its that face you give me in the morning to make me all butterflyish inside..its the way you hug me that sends chills up my spin...its the kisses that you give me that make my lips tingle..its the way you hold my hand that makes me feel like nutin else matters in the world
well i have to finish updating later cuz im on the phone with him right now!!!
i love him and i hope he reads this!