life is hard
well i'm back where i always am. struggling for money. i hate this so much i just wish that i had some kind of financial security. i have to pay rent tomorrow and i have no money to do so. rusty and i owe so many bills right now and we dont have the money to pay them because we have been over drawn and stuff. seriously i just wish i knew what to do to make this all better. i need to figure out something of value that i own that i can live without and find someway to sell it. i just hate this. i hate that my roommates give me NO notice that bills are due. its pissing me off so badly. i get a note on my door that i owe 58 dollars because emily forgot to collect money for a bill last month i am like no. that is not fair. you do NOT do that to someone. i am not rich i have no ability to come up with that kind of money on the spot like that. if i did that to her she'd be pissed at me. i think that i need to seriously find someone to take my place as soon as the house goes through. if it does. god i am so worried about everything. i just hope and pray that we get financed for the house. or that rusty does so that we can get it and that way i wont have to live here anymore. i hate it so much. my kitten never gets to run around the apartment they always lock her in. my roommates NEVER take their shit out of the washer and dryer so i can never do laundry. they just throw trash back in my room even after i have thrown it away. i just wish i could live somewhere where my roommates treated me like it was my place too. they give me one small place in the fridge and the rest is theirs and then their stuff still migrates over to my spot. they make me do chores like clean their dishes even if i am never home and DO NOT MAKE the mess. god just give me strength to live with them for a couple more months because i'm going crazy here. i had hoped that this would be a good change for me but i honestly wish i never moved from grand rapids. the only thing i gained was my own bathroom and i am now closer to rusty. ok so that is my rant for the night i just needed to get that all out.