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So lately I have been depressed & it sucks. I really hate feeling like this. I think what makes me even more upset is the fact I cant just make it go away in a snap. I have to deal with it & I really think it is bringing me down this time. I have days where I dont even want to get out of bed, more less talk to anyone. I just sit & cry, & I'm so tired of crying. I'm tired of the medicine, I'm tired of going to my 50 million doctors, I'm just worn out about all of it. On top of this, my parents hate each other. My sister & I really believe that my dad is madly in love with my mom but yet my mom could care less. It really upsets me just writing about it. Part of me just wants my parent to end it & then the other part wants them to stay together. But I want them to be happy & I know for a fact that if my mom left my dad he wouldnt know what to do. I just want to get the hell out of here. Just out of the house. & Christmas right around the coner. & it seem like I cant even get into the cheerful mood for Christmas. I was thinking tonight & I realize I feel really bad. Every other time I am depressed, I think to myself its okay everything is going to be alright, you'll get through this. But this time I dont feel that, I just feel like giving up...I dont care anymore & to add more stress I dont even know if I'm going to be able to finish all my schooling when I'm suppose too. I cant see a light at the end of the tunnel this time. & to think that I'm like this right now with Christmas makes it even worst. I just want it all to get better, I dont want to feel this way, I dont want to have depression. I just want to wake up tomorrow in a happy mood.