Nothing Bad Will Ever Happen to You (Except Me) Chapter 5
Title: Nothing Bad Will Ever Happen to You (Especially Not You)
Rating: NC-17/Explicit
Pairing: Sam/Dean
Warnings: Wincest, perceived non-con, perceived somnophilia, angst
Summary: Ruby laughs again. "You'd be surprised, Dean-o. Turns out that with the right incentive--say, for example, never seeing or hearing from his brother again--Sam will do a lot of things no one would expect."
Consciousness comes back like a badly tuned radio. Sam can hear voices, fading in and out, arguing heatedly, but the words don’t really make sense at first.
--be fine. Just--
--fucking kill you--
--ease you--stand--moron
Instinct makes him stay where he is, trying to assess the situation. He remembers passing out, vaguely--he’s still lying on the floor, the demon knife trapped under his body and luckily not in his body. His head is clearing enough to follow the conversation, which he can tell now is between Dean and Ruby. A wave of relief washes over him at the realization that she’d upheld her end of the bargain and brought his brother home.
“You know, you and Sam--it’s always been a matter of some debate.” Ruby’s voice is sly, taunting. “I had 10 souls down that the two of you would never actually have the balls--” she laughs at her own wit-- ”to actually go through with it.”
“Shut the fuck up,” Dean growls. He sounds angry, but Sam can hear the shame in his voice. “What Sam and I do is none of your business.”
“Well, I’m bored. So I’m making it my business,” Ruby says brightly. “We need something to do while we wait for Sleeping Sammy over there to wake up.”
“Don’t call him that,” Dean snaps, and Sam would smile if he could without giving himself away.
Ruby leans forward conspiratorially. “Tell me, Dean...was it all you hoped for? That’s one fine ass, I have to admit. I wouldn’t mind finding a new meatsuit and tapping that myself.”
“Go fuck yourself, bitch,” Dean replies sullenly.
“I could do that,” Ruby says agreeably. “But I’d much rather watch you fuck Sam. Or would you rather do it the other way around this time?” Her voice drops to a confidential whisper. “You know, I was poking around in his head, and he’s been waiting for you to get your head out of your ass and into his for years. Pity you waited so long--only a few months left before your trip downstairs.”
“Don’t talk about my brother like that. Don’t you fucking dare--” The rage in Dean’s voice should be terrifying, but Ruby just laughs scornfully.
“Or you’ll do what, Dean? You can’t even get out of your chair. Sam’s the one who asked for you to be tied up, you know. I was surprised--I thought it would take you two a while to get to the kinky stuff!”
Dean makes a frustrated sound. “Why are you doing this? What do you want from us? You already told me you can’t save me--why are you even here?
“Well, that’s the best part, Dean! Sam called me--summoned me, actually. Never should have given him my real name, it’s damned inconvenient.” She shrugs carelessly. “But what can you do? The important part is that he offered me a deal to find you and bring you back. You know, if you hadn’t left, he might not have ever called me. I really owe you one, big guy.”
Sam can picture the smug look on her face. Whatever she did to him before must be wearing off, because he feels better than he has in months--stronger, more focused. He can feel her blood singing along every nerve, begging to be used, and he's sure he can take her with the element of surprise on his side. He just needs to get his hand on the knife.
“A deal?” Dean sounds shocked and angry. “You’re lying. Sam would never make a deal with you or any other demon.”
Ruby laughs again. “You’d be surprised, Dean-o. Turns out that with the right incentive--say, for example, never seeing or hearing from his brother again--Sam will do a lot of things no one would expect. He’s agreed to let me teach him how to use his powers so he can defeat Lilith when she comes for you. And to amp up his powers with my blood.” She pauses, and Sam tenses, tries to keep his breathing even.
“But don’t take my word for it. Let’s ask Sam instead.”
Sam curses mentally, angry at himself for not acting sooner. He doesn’t try to deny he’s awake, just sits up, glaring at the demon standing casually next to his brother.
“You got what you came for, Ruby,” Sam says tightly. “Get out of here so Dean and I can talk.”
“Not going to happen, Sammy,” Ruby says, all playfulness dropping from her voice. “Dean needs to understand this was your choice, your decision. I don’t want to have to worry about a knife in the back every time we have a little ‘session’.”
Sam risks a glance at Dean, unsure of what he’ll find. Dean’s pale, shocked face surprises him until he remembers what he must look like. He flushes, embarrassed by the blood he can still feel drying on his face and shirt, but drinks in the sight of his brother, safe and unharmed if a little worse for the wear. But he doesn’t seem to be hurt, only angry.
“Dean--”
“Is it true, Sammy?” Dean sounds devastated. “Did you call her up, did you ask for this?” Dean twists in the chair, unable to move more than a few inches.
Sam looks away from Dean, then back, determined not to be ashamed of what he had to do. “I did what I had to, Dean,” he says quietly. “I didn’t have time to waste hunting you down. I couldn’t risk not finding you in time.”
Dean’s lips thin. “If I wanted to be found, I wouldn’t have left, Sam.” He turns his head, but that just brings Ruby back into view. “And really? That--” his mouth twists in disgust--”that is what you’re willing to do?”
“When I said anything, I meant it, Dean,” Sam says, refusing to be baited. He stands up, staggering a bit on unsteady legs, clutching the demon killing knife in one hand. Ruby watches as he catches his balance, smirking.
“Sam was very eager,” she tells Dean helpfully, eyes glinting with malice. “Maybe a bit too eager, actually--I think he’s in over his head right now, too much all at once isn’t good for you. Too bad he has no idea how to use all that power--but that’s what I’m here for, isn’t it?”
Dean strains uselessly against the ropes holding him to the chair, snarling soundlessly. Sam ignores him for now. He’ll either come around or he won’t, but Sam has more immediate concerns.
Sam takes a step forward, toward Dean, then another. Even falling apart, his brother is still achingly beautiful, and all Sam can think about is how much he wants to kiss him. Dean watches him with eyes like flint, no hint of emotion other than disgust and anger. Sam stops in front of Dean, their knees nearly touching. Ruby watches them both, sneering as she leans down to whisper in Dean’s ear. Sam can’t hear her words over the pounding of his heart, but Dean’s face twists like he’s in pain.
“There’s nothing to talk about, Sam,” Dean says coldly when she stands up again. Sam just nods, expecting nothing less. He turns toward Ruby, shoulders dropping in defeat.
“I guess this is it, then,” he says quietly.
“Aw, Sammy...don’t take it so hard,” Ruby says, batting her eyes as she sways forward to put a hand on his chest in mock seduction. “We don’t need him--I’m sure we can have lots of fun together on our own.”
“Sure,” Sam agrees, and he moves quicker than thought, quicker than he knew he could-- but not quite quick enough to bury the knife he's holding in her heart. Her eyes go black with rage as she slams him against the wall with an angry gesture then stalks closer until her face is inches from his.
“Did you really think you could take me, you stupid, inconsequential human ?” She spits the final word like a curse. “Did you really--” She stops, body caught in a tight arch, mouth dropping open in pain.
“Yes,” Sam grinds out, teeth clenched, “I really did.” He fights harder, forcing the knife deeper into her chest inch by slow and painful inch. Blood drips from her mouth as she weakens, matching the blood that’s started flowing over Sam's mouth and chin. His vision narrows to the black of her eyes, the throb in his head growing stronger as he gives a final push that feels like it rips his mind apart. He sees the lights under her skin flash and burn furiously through a haze of pain and blood, then they both fall to the ground as he releases her. Dean is shouting his name from far away, but Sam can't really hear anything through the agony in his head.
Sam’s jeans are soaked with blood when he finally lifts his head. He’s shivering with pain and adrenaline, but there’s triumph underneath it all as he stands carefully, crossing the room to kneel in front of his brother.
“Please stay, Dean,” he says softly as he begins to saw at the ropes. “I need you. Please.”
Dean just stares at him for a moment, shocked. Emotions flit over his face too quickly for Sam to follow before settling on confusion. “Why, Sam? Why go through all this to bring me back after what I did?” His face twists again, self loathing wiping out everything else. “How can you even look at me?”
“Because you’re my brother and I love you,” Sam says simply. “Because I wanted everything you did that night. I was awake from the first moment you touched me, but I wanted you so badly, for so long. I selfishly let you think you were taking advantage of me because I was afraid if you knew I was awake you’d never touch me again.”
It’s not often Dean is speechless. Sam lets him process everything as he works on cutting the ropes still tying him to the chair. When Sam’s done, Dean rubs his wrists slowly, rolling his shoulders to loosen the stiff joints. Sam collapses wearily on the bed, wiping his hands and face on one of the pillows as he gives Dean some room. Dean flushes and looks away, unable to meet Sam’s eyes as they both remember what happened just a few days before. He looks at the door longingly, the idea of running still a clear temptation, but Sam doesn’t say anything.
Finally Dean breaks the silence. “This is really fucked up, Sam,” he says, low and pained. “Whether you wanted it or not, I didn’t know and I did it anyway. That’s just...and you let me. You let me think that I was hurting you.” He looks at Sam at last. “How do we come back from that?”
Sam shakes his head slowly. “I don’t know,” he says helplessly. “But we have to try. I can’t lose you, Dean. I can’t.” He stands up, approaching Dean cautiously. Dean doesn’t move away, just stares up at Sam with a trapped expression. Sam can see the pulse in his throat fluttering wildly but he doesn’t run. “I was hoping...maybe we could just try to accept that we’re both fucked up in some really weird ways that work together pretty well? We both want things we shouldn’t, but they’re the same things, and honestly fucked up is kind of the Winchester way.”
Sam lifts one hand slowly, carefully, giving Dean time to object if he’s going to. Dean pulls in a deep, shuddery breath but doesn’t move, eyes wide and dark and fixed on Sam with a mix of anguish, dread and hope. His eyes slip shut when Sam’s hand touches his cheek, brushing over the freckles standing out starkly against his pallor.
“Sam…” It’s a breath, hardly there, but it’s all Sam needs. He folds himself around Dean, tucking his face into Dean’s shoulder the way he’s done his whole life and Dean barely hesitates before wrapping him up, the way he’s done Sam’s whole life. It’s not perfect, but it’s them.
Sam can live with that.
Rating: NC-17/Explicit
Pairing: Sam/Dean
Warnings: Wincest, perceived non-con, perceived somnophilia, angst
Summary: Ruby laughs again. "You'd be surprised, Dean-o. Turns out that with the right incentive--say, for example, never seeing or hearing from his brother again--Sam will do a lot of things no one would expect."
Consciousness comes back like a badly tuned radio. Sam can hear voices, fading in and out, arguing heatedly, but the words don’t really make sense at first.
--be fine. Just--
--fucking kill you--
--ease you--stand--moron
Instinct makes him stay where he is, trying to assess the situation. He remembers passing out, vaguely--he’s still lying on the floor, the demon knife trapped under his body and luckily not in his body. His head is clearing enough to follow the conversation, which he can tell now is between Dean and Ruby. A wave of relief washes over him at the realization that she’d upheld her end of the bargain and brought his brother home.
“You know, you and Sam--it’s always been a matter of some debate.” Ruby’s voice is sly, taunting. “I had 10 souls down that the two of you would never actually have the balls--” she laughs at her own wit-- ”to actually go through with it.”
“Shut the fuck up,” Dean growls. He sounds angry, but Sam can hear the shame in his voice. “What Sam and I do is none of your business.”
“Well, I’m bored. So I’m making it my business,” Ruby says brightly. “We need something to do while we wait for Sleeping Sammy over there to wake up.”
“Don’t call him that,” Dean snaps, and Sam would smile if he could without giving himself away.
Ruby leans forward conspiratorially. “Tell me, Dean...was it all you hoped for? That’s one fine ass, I have to admit. I wouldn’t mind finding a new meatsuit and tapping that myself.”
“Go fuck yourself, bitch,” Dean replies sullenly.
“I could do that,” Ruby says agreeably. “But I’d much rather watch you fuck Sam. Or would you rather do it the other way around this time?” Her voice drops to a confidential whisper. “You know, I was poking around in his head, and he’s been waiting for you to get your head out of your ass and into his for years. Pity you waited so long--only a few months left before your trip downstairs.”
“Don’t talk about my brother like that. Don’t you fucking dare--” The rage in Dean’s voice should be terrifying, but Ruby just laughs scornfully.
“Or you’ll do what, Dean? You can’t even get out of your chair. Sam’s the one who asked for you to be tied up, you know. I was surprised--I thought it would take you two a while to get to the kinky stuff!”
Dean makes a frustrated sound. “Why are you doing this? What do you want from us? You already told me you can’t save me--why are you even here?
“Well, that’s the best part, Dean! Sam called me--summoned me, actually. Never should have given him my real name, it’s damned inconvenient.” She shrugs carelessly. “But what can you do? The important part is that he offered me a deal to find you and bring you back. You know, if you hadn’t left, he might not have ever called me. I really owe you one, big guy.”
Sam can picture the smug look on her face. Whatever she did to him before must be wearing off, because he feels better than he has in months--stronger, more focused. He can feel her blood singing along every nerve, begging to be used, and he's sure he can take her with the element of surprise on his side. He just needs to get his hand on the knife.
“A deal?” Dean sounds shocked and angry. “You’re lying. Sam would never make a deal with you or any other demon.”
Ruby laughs again. “You’d be surprised, Dean-o. Turns out that with the right incentive--say, for example, never seeing or hearing from his brother again--Sam will do a lot of things no one would expect. He’s agreed to let me teach him how to use his powers so he can defeat Lilith when she comes for you. And to amp up his powers with my blood.” She pauses, and Sam tenses, tries to keep his breathing even.
“But don’t take my word for it. Let’s ask Sam instead.”
Sam curses mentally, angry at himself for not acting sooner. He doesn’t try to deny he’s awake, just sits up, glaring at the demon standing casually next to his brother.
“You got what you came for, Ruby,” Sam says tightly. “Get out of here so Dean and I can talk.”
“Not going to happen, Sammy,” Ruby says, all playfulness dropping from her voice. “Dean needs to understand this was your choice, your decision. I don’t want to have to worry about a knife in the back every time we have a little ‘session’.”
Sam risks a glance at Dean, unsure of what he’ll find. Dean’s pale, shocked face surprises him until he remembers what he must look like. He flushes, embarrassed by the blood he can still feel drying on his face and shirt, but drinks in the sight of his brother, safe and unharmed if a little worse for the wear. But he doesn’t seem to be hurt, only angry.
“Dean--”
“Is it true, Sammy?” Dean sounds devastated. “Did you call her up, did you ask for this?” Dean twists in the chair, unable to move more than a few inches.
Sam looks away from Dean, then back, determined not to be ashamed of what he had to do. “I did what I had to, Dean,” he says quietly. “I didn’t have time to waste hunting you down. I couldn’t risk not finding you in time.”
Dean’s lips thin. “If I wanted to be found, I wouldn’t have left, Sam.” He turns his head, but that just brings Ruby back into view. “And really? That--” his mouth twists in disgust--”that is what you’re willing to do?”
“When I said anything, I meant it, Dean,” Sam says, refusing to be baited. He stands up, staggering a bit on unsteady legs, clutching the demon killing knife in one hand. Ruby watches as he catches his balance, smirking.
“Sam was very eager,” she tells Dean helpfully, eyes glinting with malice. “Maybe a bit too eager, actually--I think he’s in over his head right now, too much all at once isn’t good for you. Too bad he has no idea how to use all that power--but that’s what I’m here for, isn’t it?”
Dean strains uselessly against the ropes holding him to the chair, snarling soundlessly. Sam ignores him for now. He’ll either come around or he won’t, but Sam has more immediate concerns.
Sam takes a step forward, toward Dean, then another. Even falling apart, his brother is still achingly beautiful, and all Sam can think about is how much he wants to kiss him. Dean watches him with eyes like flint, no hint of emotion other than disgust and anger. Sam stops in front of Dean, their knees nearly touching. Ruby watches them both, sneering as she leans down to whisper in Dean’s ear. Sam can’t hear her words over the pounding of his heart, but Dean’s face twists like he’s in pain.
“There’s nothing to talk about, Sam,” Dean says coldly when she stands up again. Sam just nods, expecting nothing less. He turns toward Ruby, shoulders dropping in defeat.
“I guess this is it, then,” he says quietly.
“Aw, Sammy...don’t take it so hard,” Ruby says, batting her eyes as she sways forward to put a hand on his chest in mock seduction. “We don’t need him--I’m sure we can have lots of fun together on our own.”
“Sure,” Sam agrees, and he moves quicker than thought, quicker than he knew he could-- but not quite quick enough to bury the knife he's holding in her heart. Her eyes go black with rage as she slams him against the wall with an angry gesture then stalks closer until her face is inches from his.
“Did you really think you could take me, you stupid, inconsequential human ?” She spits the final word like a curse. “Did you really--” She stops, body caught in a tight arch, mouth dropping open in pain.
“Yes,” Sam grinds out, teeth clenched, “I really did.” He fights harder, forcing the knife deeper into her chest inch by slow and painful inch. Blood drips from her mouth as she weakens, matching the blood that’s started flowing over Sam's mouth and chin. His vision narrows to the black of her eyes, the throb in his head growing stronger as he gives a final push that feels like it rips his mind apart. He sees the lights under her skin flash and burn furiously through a haze of pain and blood, then they both fall to the ground as he releases her. Dean is shouting his name from far away, but Sam can't really hear anything through the agony in his head.
Sam’s jeans are soaked with blood when he finally lifts his head. He’s shivering with pain and adrenaline, but there’s triumph underneath it all as he stands carefully, crossing the room to kneel in front of his brother.
“Please stay, Dean,” he says softly as he begins to saw at the ropes. “I need you. Please.”
Dean just stares at him for a moment, shocked. Emotions flit over his face too quickly for Sam to follow before settling on confusion. “Why, Sam? Why go through all this to bring me back after what I did?” His face twists again, self loathing wiping out everything else. “How can you even look at me?”
“Because you’re my brother and I love you,” Sam says simply. “Because I wanted everything you did that night. I was awake from the first moment you touched me, but I wanted you so badly, for so long. I selfishly let you think you were taking advantage of me because I was afraid if you knew I was awake you’d never touch me again.”
It’s not often Dean is speechless. Sam lets him process everything as he works on cutting the ropes still tying him to the chair. When Sam’s done, Dean rubs his wrists slowly, rolling his shoulders to loosen the stiff joints. Sam collapses wearily on the bed, wiping his hands and face on one of the pillows as he gives Dean some room. Dean flushes and looks away, unable to meet Sam’s eyes as they both remember what happened just a few days before. He looks at the door longingly, the idea of running still a clear temptation, but Sam doesn’t say anything.
Finally Dean breaks the silence. “This is really fucked up, Sam,” he says, low and pained. “Whether you wanted it or not, I didn’t know and I did it anyway. That’s just...and you let me. You let me think that I was hurting you.” He looks at Sam at last. “How do we come back from that?”
Sam shakes his head slowly. “I don’t know,” he says helplessly. “But we have to try. I can’t lose you, Dean. I can’t.” He stands up, approaching Dean cautiously. Dean doesn’t move away, just stares up at Sam with a trapped expression. Sam can see the pulse in his throat fluttering wildly but he doesn’t run. “I was hoping...maybe we could just try to accept that we’re both fucked up in some really weird ways that work together pretty well? We both want things we shouldn’t, but they’re the same things, and honestly fucked up is kind of the Winchester way.”
Sam lifts one hand slowly, carefully, giving Dean time to object if he’s going to. Dean pulls in a deep, shuddery breath but doesn’t move, eyes wide and dark and fixed on Sam with a mix of anguish, dread and hope. His eyes slip shut when Sam’s hand touches his cheek, brushing over the freckles standing out starkly against his pallor.
“Sam…” It’s a breath, hardly there, but it’s all Sam needs. He folds himself around Dean, tucking his face into Dean’s shoulder the way he’s done his whole life and Dean barely hesitates before wrapping him up, the way he’s done Sam’s whole life. It’s not perfect, but it’s them.
Sam can live with that.