(no subject)
Here I am, I haven't written for a long long time..... So much has changed in my life.....
This last thursday .. April 13th... I turned 29..... One year until I am 30......
I am almost divorced, She was a good woman, but like any marriage we had our problems and alas they turned out to be serious enough that we decided to go our own ways.... I wish her only the best on the roads she takes throughout her life.... I have no hard feelings against her.....
I am dating a woman whom I have had feelings for since 1999. Her and I have a history and for whatever reason fate has brought us back together again... I am truly happy, and I want to sky write my happiness, but the last thing I want to do is inflict pain on anyone so I have remained silent, but I am very very happy with this woman. We have our differences, and sometimes it seems like we have alot of them, but she is different. She is intellectually my equal, she is the most mature woman I have known for a long time, and she is a great mother and "girlfriend". Truly who could ask for more.
We differ alot because I am caught in the "supposed" syndrome. For those who don't know what that is, I have started stating "Well a father is supposed to....." "A husband is supposed to...." "An american... a pagan.... a ....." I am caught in old tapes and a fixed idea on how I should be.... She is very professional, very responsible, and very successful, but not caught in that trap (as much) ... She challenges me at every point she can, but I feel I will be a better person for it.....
My children are growing so much, Hope my 5 year-old is turning into such a beautiful young lady, and I am doing everything I cna to give her every opportunity possible. Ethan my 19 month - old is growing in leaps and bounds. He is opinionated, driven, smart, and a total handful...
Career-wise I am still at Bell-Tech. It is a wonderful position, I am help desk for the Brown Forman company (makers of Jack Daniels, Southern Comfort, Tuaca, Finlandia, Korbel .. etc......) but I am nervous changes are going on fast at Bell-Tech so I never know what changes may be in order.....
Spirituality is going through an interesting journey. I took time away from the circle I was practicing with to seek out my spirituality. I tried unsuccessfully to start a shamanic practice circle. It failed due to lack of leadership and bad attempts at it..... So the direction I am going now is an interesting one. I recently saw the movie "What the bleep do we know?" I found there were alot of areas where my shamanic spirituality and Quantum Physics cross, meet and combine. I am now studying a spirituality that takes me back to the source and allows me a stronger communion and growth potential from it.
I will send more but for now, this is a minor glimpse into my life..... And for the record this wonderful woman is named Ashley, and yes for those who have known me for a while, this is THE Ashley, and yes I am the happiest I have been in a long long time......
And finally for anyone who cares, the first of the two people who are in prison for trying to kill me is getting out of prison on April 30th of this year, and the other gets out August of next, so I am very very nervous.
HUGS to all who still stand by me
Brandon
This last thursday .. April 13th... I turned 29..... One year until I am 30......
I am almost divorced, She was a good woman, but like any marriage we had our problems and alas they turned out to be serious enough that we decided to go our own ways.... I wish her only the best on the roads she takes throughout her life.... I have no hard feelings against her.....
I am dating a woman whom I have had feelings for since 1999. Her and I have a history and for whatever reason fate has brought us back together again... I am truly happy, and I want to sky write my happiness, but the last thing I want to do is inflict pain on anyone so I have remained silent, but I am very very happy with this woman. We have our differences, and sometimes it seems like we have alot of them, but she is different. She is intellectually my equal, she is the most mature woman I have known for a long time, and she is a great mother and "girlfriend". Truly who could ask for more.
We differ alot because I am caught in the "supposed" syndrome. For those who don't know what that is, I have started stating "Well a father is supposed to....." "A husband is supposed to...." "An american... a pagan.... a ....." I am caught in old tapes and a fixed idea on how I should be.... She is very professional, very responsible, and very successful, but not caught in that trap (as much) ... She challenges me at every point she can, but I feel I will be a better person for it.....
My children are growing so much, Hope my 5 year-old is turning into such a beautiful young lady, and I am doing everything I cna to give her every opportunity possible. Ethan my 19 month - old is growing in leaps and bounds. He is opinionated, driven, smart, and a total handful...
Career-wise I am still at Bell-Tech. It is a wonderful position, I am help desk for the Brown Forman company (makers of Jack Daniels, Southern Comfort, Tuaca, Finlandia, Korbel .. etc......) but I am nervous changes are going on fast at Bell-Tech so I never know what changes may be in order.....
Spirituality is going through an interesting journey. I took time away from the circle I was practicing with to seek out my spirituality. I tried unsuccessfully to start a shamanic practice circle. It failed due to lack of leadership and bad attempts at it..... So the direction I am going now is an interesting one. I recently saw the movie "What the bleep do we know?" I found there were alot of areas where my shamanic spirituality and Quantum Physics cross, meet and combine. I am now studying a spirituality that takes me back to the source and allows me a stronger communion and growth potential from it.
I will send more but for now, this is a minor glimpse into my life..... And for the record this wonderful woman is named Ashley, and yes for those who have known me for a while, this is THE Ashley, and yes I am the happiest I have been in a long long time......
And finally for anyone who cares, the first of the two people who are in prison for trying to kill me is getting out of prison on April 30th of this year, and the other gets out August of next, so I am very very nervous.
HUGS to all who still stand by me
Brandon