heroes: peter rabbit
Title: Peter Rabbit
Authors: kel_fish and bettareader
Fandom: Heroes
Characters: Nathan/Peter, a flock of fangirls/boys
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: Heroes is owned by NBC, Kring, and others who aren't us.
Author's note: This is pure crack, y'all. Like, for serious, yo. Written for neoshadow1986, to put it in his face! Oh, yeah; we finished our crack fic! What now?!
Summary: Nathan feeds Peter a frickin' McFlurry.
Once upon a time, there were two gloriously hot brothers who decided to have gloriously hot sex, for they were Italian, and apparently being Italian means you have gloriously hot sex with your gloriously hot brother.
On the day that this gloriously hot sex occurred between two gloriously hot brothers, said gloriously hot brothers were sitting in a McDonald’s. The older brother, whose name was Nathan (and who was not dead), picked up a plastic spoon and dipped it into his frickin’ McFlurry, pulling out a large glob of ice cream.
Nathan held the spoon out in front of his gloriously hot brother’s face and said, “Look, Peter! Here comes the airplane! Open wide!”
Peter-for that was the gloriously hot younger brother’s name-opened his gloriously hot, crooked mouth, clapping his hands and bouncing up and down in his chair as he waited for his gloriously hot older brother to spoon him (it’s a crack fic, thus ‘tis lame). Nathan smiled and slipped the ice cream into Peter’s mouth, then licked his lips as he watched the gloriously hot younger man swallow the thick, white creamy cream, creamy cream, cream, cream, cream, (creamy cream). Looking at Nathan through the emo-bangs that had suddenly sprouted from his forehead, Peter wrapped his tongue around the spoon and licked along the sides of the plastic, raising his gloriously hot eyebrow suggestively.
For one split second, Nathan thought it would be inappropriate to fuck his brother on the table of a frickin’ McDonald’s in front of a bunch of people, but then he figured that everyone in the frickin’ McDonald’s would want to watch two gloriously hot brothers fuck on a dirty table anyway. He lunged forward and smashed his lips against his gloriously hot brother’s, ignoring the gloriously hot younger brother’s protests as he ripped off his shirt and yelled, “Now, Peter!”
Peter, unable to resist his older brother’s superior glorious hotness any longer, jumped up out of his chair and sat on the edge of the table, spreading his legs. “I’m ready, Nathan!” he gasped.
Nathan ripped off Peter’s pants stripper-style, and tossed them into a fangirl’s face, who proceeded to squee in the universal fangirl language, and then get ripped to shreds by other jealous fangirls-and boys, for there are those too, and we feel that they should be mentioned.
Picking up the frickin’ McFlurry, Nathan popped the top off and scooped up a handful of ice cream, grinning suggestively with his gloriously hot shark teeth. Peter licked his lips again and spread his legs further, then blinked Jeanie-style. Suddenly, Nathan’s pants were gone, and he immediately slathered his dick with ice cream before ramming into his gloriously hot younger brother because, as neoshadow1986 will tell you, Peter likes it rough. To prove this point, Peter screamed, “Yes! Nathan! Give it to me rough, just the way I like it!” and wrapped his legs around Nathan’s waist.
By this time, the fangirls were slavering and leaping about the frickin’ McDonald’s like a bunch of monkeys, squeeing and ripping off the remaining clothes on the gloriously hot brothers’ bodies. Occasionally they would try to touch one of the gloriously hot brothers, but every time, they would be thrown back by some sort of invisible force, and then explode because of the extremely glorious hotness.
The gloriously hot brothers Petrelli continued to fuck like rabbits, until a pair of white rabbit ears popped out of the gloriously hot younger brother’s head. Suddenly, a little girl ran into the frickin’ McDonald’s, asking what Peter would be late for, to which Peter replied, “COMING! Get OUT OF THE FRICKIN’ MCDONALD’S! THIS IS MY FAIRY TALE, BITCH!” The rabbit ears disappeared with a pop and a puff of smoke, and the little girl died of a heart attack from fright and an overload of glorious hotness.
During this time, Nathan had been completely oblivious to everything around him except for Peter and the abs, arms, legs, and chest of guh, and the gloriously hot glory hole he was pounding into.
He yelled, “I can’t hold back any longer!” and proceeded to come, coating himself, his gloriously hot brother, and the table with ice cream and ice cream. He pulled out of Peter and murmured, “Lick the ice cream cone, Pete; it’s dripping.”
Peter’s eyes widened, and he slipped off the table and onto his knees, proceeding to lick his gloriously hot older brother’s cock clean while he jacked himself off, and fangirls continued to die right and left for trying to get too close. They weren’t like the frickin’ McDonald’s employees, who decided to stay behind the counter instead and eat ice cream.
After Peter came all over the frickin’ McDonald’s floor, Nathan picked him up and held him in his arms, smiling down at him lovingly, before taking off into the sky and flying to Peter’s apartment for more gloriously hot sex.
The end.
Footnotes:
1). All things associated with McDonald’s should be referred to with a frickin’ included in the referral. Mentioning the McDonald’s in the opening sentence of this paragraph should have had a frickin’ placed before it as well, but keldjinfae_moon and bettareader just established this rule now-besides, this is a crack fic, yo.
2). Ice cream does not need a frickin’ mentioned, for there is no “Mc” involved.
3). If Nathan happens to be at least slightly more gloriously hot than his gloriously hot younger brother, then this is all right and can be overlooked, for the gloriously hot younger brother still drives fangirls crazy and makes them jump him in dark alleys-and keldjinfae_moon and bettareader so did not do that.
4). The spoon is, in fact, an airplane and not a helicopter, as bettareader would have you believe.
5). This follicle phenomenon is known as “spontaneous hair combustion,” and examples can be found in keldjinfae_moon’s imagination, wherein Ian McKellen’s character in The DaVinci Code suddenly yells, “You shall not pass!” and grows a really long, gray beard.
6). Due to the glorious hotness of the brothers Petrelli, the spoon disappears, and thus can not choke Peter when Nathan tongue-molests him-aka, does what bettareader and keldjinfae_moon so did not. In an alley. But the gloriously hot brothers were in a frickin’ McDonald’s, so they didn’t do what bettareader and keldjinfae_moon didn’t in an alley either.
7). The only person who can rip pants off stripper-style better than Nathan is bettareader, because she’s like a fucking super hero when it comes to jam-jam time.
8). The universal language is a series of “Aaaaaaeeeeeeiiiiiis” and “Oooooooohs” and “Guuuuhs” that are always accompanied by hot flashes and heavy breathing, and are usually joined by hand-fans and lots of jumping. Occasionally, pink cheeks are also included in the fangirl mix.
9). Yet another crack fic.
10). keldjinfae_moon enjoys saying glorious; just ask neoshadow1986.
11). Credit must be given to oh_mcgee, for her “Arms of Guh” icon made fangirls (such as keldjinfae_moon) squee and jump about like monkeys in the privacy of their own homes, like, for serious.
12). Shojo, mojo, tojo, dojo.
13). Any real fangirl/boy will tell you that Peter is nothing more than a pretty glory hole with “feelings.”
14). And by “ice cream,” keldjinfae_moon and bettareader mean "come."
15). Some might say that Nathan and Peter flew through the roof, but really, the roof couldn’t take their extremely glorious hotness, and thus gave in to their power, allowing them to pass unscathed. However, fangirls jumping and screaming beneath the roof were not quite so lucky, and had to dive for cover beneath frickin’ McDonald’s tables.
16). Take that, neoshadow1986
Authors: kel_fish and bettareader
Fandom: Heroes
Characters: Nathan/Peter, a flock of fangirls/boys
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: Heroes is owned by NBC, Kring, and others who aren't us.
Author's note: This is pure crack, y'all. Like, for serious, yo. Written for neoshadow1986, to put it in his face! Oh, yeah; we finished our crack fic! What now?!
Summary: Nathan feeds Peter a frickin' McFlurry.
Once upon a time, there were two gloriously hot brothers who decided to have gloriously hot sex, for they were Italian, and apparently being Italian means you have gloriously hot sex with your gloriously hot brother.
On the day that this gloriously hot sex occurred between two gloriously hot brothers, said gloriously hot brothers were sitting in a McDonald’s. The older brother, whose name was Nathan (and who was not dead), picked up a plastic spoon and dipped it into his frickin’ McFlurry, pulling out a large glob of ice cream.
Nathan held the spoon out in front of his gloriously hot brother’s face and said, “Look, Peter! Here comes the airplane! Open wide!”
Peter-for that was the gloriously hot younger brother’s name-opened his gloriously hot, crooked mouth, clapping his hands and bouncing up and down in his chair as he waited for his gloriously hot older brother to spoon him (it’s a crack fic, thus ‘tis lame). Nathan smiled and slipped the ice cream into Peter’s mouth, then licked his lips as he watched the gloriously hot younger man swallow the thick, white creamy cream, creamy cream, cream, cream, cream, (creamy cream). Looking at Nathan through the emo-bangs that had suddenly sprouted from his forehead, Peter wrapped his tongue around the spoon and licked along the sides of the plastic, raising his gloriously hot eyebrow suggestively.
For one split second, Nathan thought it would be inappropriate to fuck his brother on the table of a frickin’ McDonald’s in front of a bunch of people, but then he figured that everyone in the frickin’ McDonald’s would want to watch two gloriously hot brothers fuck on a dirty table anyway. He lunged forward and smashed his lips against his gloriously hot brother’s, ignoring the gloriously hot younger brother’s protests as he ripped off his shirt and yelled, “Now, Peter!”
Peter, unable to resist his older brother’s superior glorious hotness any longer, jumped up out of his chair and sat on the edge of the table, spreading his legs. “I’m ready, Nathan!” he gasped.
Nathan ripped off Peter’s pants stripper-style, and tossed them into a fangirl’s face, who proceeded to squee in the universal fangirl language, and then get ripped to shreds by other jealous fangirls-and boys, for there are those too, and we feel that they should be mentioned.
Picking up the frickin’ McFlurry, Nathan popped the top off and scooped up a handful of ice cream, grinning suggestively with his gloriously hot shark teeth. Peter licked his lips again and spread his legs further, then blinked Jeanie-style. Suddenly, Nathan’s pants were gone, and he immediately slathered his dick with ice cream before ramming into his gloriously hot younger brother because, as neoshadow1986 will tell you, Peter likes it rough. To prove this point, Peter screamed, “Yes! Nathan! Give it to me rough, just the way I like it!” and wrapped his legs around Nathan’s waist.
By this time, the fangirls were slavering and leaping about the frickin’ McDonald’s like a bunch of monkeys, squeeing and ripping off the remaining clothes on the gloriously hot brothers’ bodies. Occasionally they would try to touch one of the gloriously hot brothers, but every time, they would be thrown back by some sort of invisible force, and then explode because of the extremely glorious hotness.
The gloriously hot brothers Petrelli continued to fuck like rabbits, until a pair of white rabbit ears popped out of the gloriously hot younger brother’s head. Suddenly, a little girl ran into the frickin’ McDonald’s, asking what Peter would be late for, to which Peter replied, “COMING! Get OUT OF THE FRICKIN’ MCDONALD’S! THIS IS MY FAIRY TALE, BITCH!” The rabbit ears disappeared with a pop and a puff of smoke, and the little girl died of a heart attack from fright and an overload of glorious hotness.
During this time, Nathan had been completely oblivious to everything around him except for Peter and the abs, arms, legs, and chest of guh, and the gloriously hot glory hole he was pounding into.
He yelled, “I can’t hold back any longer!” and proceeded to come, coating himself, his gloriously hot brother, and the table with ice cream and ice cream. He pulled out of Peter and murmured, “Lick the ice cream cone, Pete; it’s dripping.”
Peter’s eyes widened, and he slipped off the table and onto his knees, proceeding to lick his gloriously hot older brother’s cock clean while he jacked himself off, and fangirls continued to die right and left for trying to get too close. They weren’t like the frickin’ McDonald’s employees, who decided to stay behind the counter instead and eat ice cream.
After Peter came all over the frickin’ McDonald’s floor, Nathan picked him up and held him in his arms, smiling down at him lovingly, before taking off into the sky and flying to Peter’s apartment for more gloriously hot sex.
The end.
Footnotes:
1). All things associated with McDonald’s should be referred to with a frickin’ included in the referral. Mentioning the McDonald’s in the opening sentence of this paragraph should have had a frickin’ placed before it as well, but keldjinfae_moon and bettareader just established this rule now-besides, this is a crack fic, yo.
2). Ice cream does not need a frickin’ mentioned, for there is no “Mc” involved.
3). If Nathan happens to be at least slightly more gloriously hot than his gloriously hot younger brother, then this is all right and can be overlooked, for the gloriously hot younger brother still drives fangirls crazy and makes them jump him in dark alleys-and keldjinfae_moon and bettareader so did not do that.
4). The spoon is, in fact, an airplane and not a helicopter, as bettareader would have you believe.
5). This follicle phenomenon is known as “spontaneous hair combustion,” and examples can be found in keldjinfae_moon’s imagination, wherein Ian McKellen’s character in The DaVinci Code suddenly yells, “You shall not pass!” and grows a really long, gray beard.
6). Due to the glorious hotness of the brothers Petrelli, the spoon disappears, and thus can not choke Peter when Nathan tongue-molests him-aka, does what bettareader and keldjinfae_moon so did not. In an alley. But the gloriously hot brothers were in a frickin’ McDonald’s, so they didn’t do what bettareader and keldjinfae_moon didn’t in an alley either.
7). The only person who can rip pants off stripper-style better than Nathan is bettareader, because she’s like a fucking super hero when it comes to jam-jam time.
8). The universal language is a series of “Aaaaaaeeeeeeiiiiiis” and “Oooooooohs” and “Guuuuhs” that are always accompanied by hot flashes and heavy breathing, and are usually joined by hand-fans and lots of jumping. Occasionally, pink cheeks are also included in the fangirl mix.
9). Yet another crack fic.
10). keldjinfae_moon enjoys saying glorious; just ask neoshadow1986.
11). Credit must be given to oh_mcgee, for her “Arms of Guh” icon made fangirls (such as keldjinfae_moon) squee and jump about like monkeys in the privacy of their own homes, like, for serious.
12). Shojo, mojo, tojo, dojo.
13). Any real fangirl/boy will tell you that Peter is nothing more than a pretty glory hole with “feelings.”
14). And by “ice cream,” keldjinfae_moon and bettareader mean "come."
15). Some might say that Nathan and Peter flew through the roof, but really, the roof couldn’t take their extremely glorious hotness, and thus gave in to their power, allowing them to pass unscathed. However, fangirls jumping and screaming beneath the roof were not quite so lucky, and had to dive for cover beneath frickin’ McDonald’s tables.
16). Take that, neoshadow1986